Bringing date to work party

[Anonymous]

OP, consider taking him to the party, but as your neighbor or even cousin. Someone you have along history with and is lots of fun especially in a holiday setting. Arrive together, leave separately, then return together. Might sound like overthinking it, but better safe than sorry, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get your point. But you also just signaled to him you don't think you guys are serious and you're not sure where the relationship is headed. So I get him being bothered by that too.

This is immature. OP is middle aged and has a career. She should not take her latest catch to a work party if she doesn’t want to. Next year is another story. They will have been together 1.5 years then and yes more solid. Co-workers don’t need to know what’s going on in your bedroom.

[Anonymous]

I take my BF of six months to parties but it's a little stressful when he doesn't know many people there. I probably wouldn't take him to a work party where he woukdnt know anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he cute ? I’ll take him to mine

He’s very handsome and the life of the party type. I didn’t ran to offend him, I just not sure where things are going with us after only 6 months.

If it's 6 months, you should know where things are going

And if he's being a crybaby about a work party, that should tell you a lot right there.

Under no circumstances should you bring anything but a life partner to a work gathering. And most life partners are not going to like it anyway.

Some dude craving to go to your office party is quite weird. It's not healthy. Most men will avoid that like the plague. They do it out of necessity. No man thinks there's a good time.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird he wants to go to someone else’s work party.

[Anonymous]

Team OP. I wouldn’t want to take a BF to a work party either. It’s a professional event - not a party with friends. I also think it’s super weird that he doesn’t “get” this. Does he not have a professional job?

[Anonymous]

If I was dating someone for six months I would consider that to be pretty darn serious. If the holiday party is to include spouses and SOs I be pretty pissed off at not being invited especially if I show well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. I wouldn’t want to take a BF to a work party either. It’s a professional event - not a party with friends. I also think it’s super weird that he doesn’t “get” this. Does he not have a professional job?

It’s a party with spouses and significant others. If she doesn’t want to consider him to be a SO that’s the message she’s sending him. He’s beyond being a friend.

[Anonymous]

LOL. I thought it was a office holiday potluck and you were bringing dates to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP. I wouldn’t want to take a BF to a work party either. It’s a professional event - not a party with friends. I also think it’s super weird that he doesn’t “get” this. Does he not have a professional job?

It’s a party with spouses and significant others. If she doesn’t want to consider him to be a SO that’s the message she’s sending him. He’s beyond being a friend.

Someone you’ve been dating 6 months is not significant. They may become significant, but they are not currently significant.

[Anonymous]

My male coworker brought a woman he was seeing for a couple months to our office holiday party. She wore a summery white bodycon dress with strappy sandals. She danced, drank and had a great time. The rest of us were networking. Glad someone had fun.

Would I take a someone I’ve only seen 6 months to my stuffy office party? No. Even when I was single. Nosy people will start tallying your body count.

[Anonymous]

My male coworker takes a different woman every year. We’ve stopped learning their names or even trying to make small talk with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he cute ? I’ll take him to mine

He’s very handsome and the life of the party type. I didn’t ran to offend him, I just not sure where things are going with us after only 6 months.

If it's 6 months, you should know where things are going

And if he's being a crybaby about a work party, that should tell you a lot right there.

Under no circumstances should you bring anything but a life partner to a work gathering. And most life partners are not going to like it anyway.

Some dude craving to go to your office party is quite weird. It's not healthy. Most men will avoid that like the plague. They do it out of necessity. No man thinks there's a good time.

+1 to all the above, especially the bold. A grown-up who has actually ever been to a work party of his own should understand why taking a six-month BF with whom you're not serious/officially committed to this party. He sounds like he just thinks it'll be free booze, free food and fun, and doesn't care about how you might be perceived by colleagues if you bring him.

OP, you say he's a "life of the party" type. One, maybe that's a red flag; is he more of a partier than you are, or than you want to be? And two, sometimes "life of the party" BFs/GFs only see the party, not the fact you'll be remembered for the next year by what HE does at that party. I'd be thinking bigger picture, since he's acting butthurt about not going to this party: Does he make a habit of not caring what you think and feel? And does he make a habit of pouting when he doesn't get his way?

[Anonymous]

above should be "why youre not taking" him to the party. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, consider taking him to the party, but as your neighbor or even cousin. Someone you have along history with and is lots of fun especially in a holiday setting. Arrive together, leave separately, then return together. Might sound like overthinking it, but better safe than sorry, lol.

Ugh, no. This is not just "overthinking it," this is silly game-playing. And the BF would have to be willing to go along with this, which he might not be.

This isn't how adults handle things like this.

OP said no, he's being a child about it, and maybe it's time for her to break up if he can't handle a simple no and she can't decide if they're serious.