youngest mom in my play group

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks so much for the kind words of encouragement. I guess I just need to ditch the group. I think I have been much more sensitive to people judging my age since this woman scoffed at me "ugh, that's YOUR child?" Um, yes, my child. The moms in my play group are a bit uppity, but this is the group in my neighborhood and I don't feel like traveling to find "better" play groups.

I am putting on my big girl pants now and dealing with it. I don't want to discriminate and start a "younger mothers" play group but what about a "we have kids and are down-to-earth" play group? Anyone interested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks so much for the kind words of encouragement. I guess I just need to ditch the group. I think I have been much more sensitive to people judging my age since this woman scoffed at me "ugh, that's YOUR child?" Um, yes, my child. The moms in my play group are a bit uppity, but this is the group in my neighborhood and I don't feel like traveling to find "better" play groups.

I am putting on my big girl pants now and dealing with it. I don't want to discriminate and start a "younger mothers" play group but what about a "we have kids and are down-to-earth" play group? Anyone interested?

Ha! I personally never did the big play group thing. I was 34 and the avg. age of the mothers when I had my firstborn...I just didn't have luck with a normal group. I made my friends at the park and in a 'pilates-and baby' class and branched out from there. Once your child starts preschool you will meet many more ppl as well.

I am now 40 and I feel the same way you do about the 'uppity' moms. I haven't even joined our neighborhood listserv because of its reputation as 'uppity'.

I don't think I am the 'big group' type anyways.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you mind sharing what are you live in? I was pregnant at 29, deliverd at 30 and now my DD is 8 months old (so not as young as you but only by four years I am guessing). Honestly, my closest girlfriends are in the 24 to 26 range and I never feel like I am super old in comparison (no, most of them do not have children).

It really sounds like this group is not a good fit for you. I am not part of a playgroup but have taken some classes which I find a really nice way to connect with other moms. If you are anywhere near Arlington, I have really enjoyed Itsy Bitsy Yoga and Post-Partum Pillates at Virginia Hospital Center (they offer some other classes). Plus, we just started taking a music class and I am looking for something else for the fall. Maybe you could try that route and see if you meet anyone you click with? Good luck!

[Anonymous]

15:51 here...sorry for all the typos, I am typing with one hand! The only one I will bother to correct is the first one...it should say, "OP, do you mind sharing what area you live in?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you mind sharing what are you live in? I was pregnant at 29, deliverd at 30 and now my DD is 8 months old (so not as young as you but only by four years I am guessing). Honestly, my closest girlfriends are in the 24 to 26 range and I never feel like I am super old in comparison (no, most of them do not have children).

It really sounds like this group is not a good fit for you. I am not part of a playgroup but have taken some classes which I find a really nice way to connect with other moms. If you are anywhere near Arlington, I have really enjoyed Itsy Bitsy Yoga and Post-Partum Pillates at Virginia Hospital Center (they offer some other classes). Plus, we just started taking a music class and I am looking for something else for the fall. Maybe you could try that route and see if you meet anyone you click with? Good luck!

I live in DC and VA isn't super accessible for me

Thanks for the suggestions, though! I am pushing for a move to the suburbs. I want a yard and a higher concentration of families!!!

[Anonymous]

Gotcha...I am sure there are classes near you though! Maybe even asking the other moms in the playgroup would give you something to talk about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just moved to the area and from what I am finding, I am also a younger mom (31 with a 2yo) even though I certainly don't feel that young-two masters degrees, four years of full time work experience in my field, etc. etc. Yet the moms I've met through DC's daycare and around the neighborhood seem much older and don't seem to take me seriously. I often get mistaken for the babysitter, and doesn't help that I look young for my age either. . .

I've learned that half the battle is having confidence. If you are confident and act like you belong (as in, equally educated, experienced, intelligent, etc.) hopefully they will warm up and realize you are an equal, even though you might be younger. Maybe start be befriending the younger moms of the group. Could it also be because you are new? Being new to a group is always hard, even without being the youngest. Of course, if going to play group is causing you this much stress, I would find another group

Who are these ppl?!?!! My best mom friend had her daughter is 27. Her daughter is almost 6---she is now 34. I am 40 with a 2.5 year old and about to turn 5-year old. We have tons in common despite our 6 year age difference. In fact- she is more mature than me. We go out as couples with our DHs as well and have a blast. I am often mistaken for about 5 years younger than I am ---maybe that has to do that I don't act old and refuse to mingle with younger women. WTH--what is up with all of the age discrimination around here? I came back from living in Berlin adn didn't feel it all---my best girlfriend from Germany is also 7 years younger than me and just got married.

How do you know ppl 'dont' take you seriously?" I sometimes wonder if it is in our minds only.

12:17 here. . . I HAD a few mom friends that were older (late 30's - early 40's) when I lived in Wisconsin and I never felt looked down upon. They were really nice, educated, laid back and kind of crunchy, granola types. I think it has a lot to do with being 1.) new in the neighborhood 2.) a minority and 3.) the type of neighborhood I live in. Not saying everyone is like that, it just so happens that people are around here (where I live) are. Or maybe I just haven't found the right people to be friends with

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I have been much more sensitive to people judging my age since this woman scoffed at me "ugh, that's YOUR child?" Um, yes, my child.

31 year old parent to 14 year old here...if you can develop a thick skin about this and a smile, its much more pleasant to deal with these comments. Plus, usually I don't think people mean anything bad, they are just suprised. I try to just imagine that all people mean well, and even when they don't, it helps me not get upset over dumb crap that doesn't matter.

If someone makes a really direct question to me, I just smile brightly and say I'm aging better than expected! DH and I get a lot of comments, but our age gap is way more than typical, and b/c we expect them, we have just been programmed to take in stride...Just yesterday a staff person at child's school said, "Wow - DS is your child?! I thought you were young enough to be one of the students!"

I just smiled and said "I wish!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a first time mom at 24. All of my mom friends are 10-15 yrs older than me and it doesn't matter one bit. I've never felt like anyone looked down on me at all. It sounds like you ahve a chip on your shoulder and/or are a troll.

I think you honestly you are the one who had a unique experience for this area. Or, you don't live or work either in the District or very close by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a first time mom at 24. All of my mom friends are 10-15 yrs older than me and it doesn't matter one bit. I've never felt like anyone looked down on me at all. It sounds like you ahve a chip on your shoulder and/or are a troll.

I think you honestly you are the one who had a unique experience for this area. Or, you don't live or work either in the District or very close by.

OP here, I didn't even notice I was called a troll... Nope, most certainly not a troll... Not one bit!

I'm just a young SAHM who wants to connect with other mothers and not feel judged, which I feel is a typical experience in DC.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and my best mom friend is 9 years younger than me. I am black and she is white. Our "differences" never even occur to us. We just have fun with our kids Even have girls night out, movie nights and exercise together. I see her almost every day. I think your state of mind has a great deal to do with it.

[Anonymous]

I am in a dad's group, and we span about 25 years in age between the fathers. We all get along fine, and I don't think that we are better because we are dads. I'm sure there are plenty of welcoming mom's groups, and your group is probably a bad one.

I do think that it can be tough to build up your network of parent-friends. But don't settle for the first group you run into. Find one that deserves you.

[Anonymous]

OP, come to the light...! That would be Takoma Park, where in my immediate neighborhood, we have a couple of very young SAHMs, a couple of SAHMs in their late 20s-early 30s, two lesbian couples (one mid-30s, one late 40s), both with 3-year-olds; numerous parents of older kids, and the entire village (multigenerational) that knows and watches out for these kids because we gather on a daily/weekly basis at the local park. Life is too short for the b.s. you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, come to the light...! That would be Takoma Park, where in my immediate neighborhood, we have a couple of very young SAHMs, a couple of SAHMs in their late 20s-early 30s, two lesbian couples (one mid-30s, one late 40s), both with 3-year-olds; numerous parents of older kids, and the entire village (multigenerational) that knows and watches out for these kids because we gather on a daily/weekly basis at the local park. Life is too short for the b.s. you describe.

I want so badly to move to Takoma Park!!! For some reason my other half despises the thought of being less than 5 minutes away from the Capitol Building... Guess he is a little uppity, too .

[Anonymous]

I meant *more* than 5 minutes away... I guess I'm up past my bedtime.