Would you stay in this marriage?

[Anonymous]

No kids…..bad at sex…..punt!

[Anonymous]

Whatever you decide, do not have kids together and perpetuate his issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

Yeah it might be nice if he read your body language, but since you know he can’t you’ll just have to speak to him. This isn’t him being bad at sex, it’s you not communicating your wants in a way that he'll hear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His cleverness and seeming like a good person drew me to him…but the lack of connection is wearing me down. I feel lonely, unseen and I do all the work at maintaining the emotional side of the relationship. No intention of having kids.

I would not stay.

[Anonymous]

How long together? Is he worth trying to turn things around?

He will be hurt and confused by you leaving. How direct are you comfortable being with him about these issues?

First check with him to see if he’s ok. Tell him you noticed he isn’t spending time with you like he used to and he seems withdrawn. Tell him there are plenty of free museums and parks so there is no excuse for you guys not to go on dates. Tell him being married doesn’t mean that we don’t hang out anymore.

Can you tell him you feel like you guys are also drifting apart sexually? I liked when you used to xyz before and now you don’t anymore or when I’m trying to tell you what feels good when I xyz you always switch it up instead of continuing what I liked. Can you say “I like that” or “don’t stop”, “kiss me here” or give some basic and general guidance during the act right if and whenever he gets any part correct?

He might need to be told this, will be a hard conversation(s). Good luck

[Anonymous]

I might try counseling first, but I don't find that marriage gets easier.

[Anonymous]

As someone suffering in a marriage like this with kids. LEAVE!!!! Leave right now. You have no idea how fortunate you are to not have kids. It is so lonely and eats away at your soul and mental health. To add to this, it’s very hard to find people in real life who relate to/understand what you are going through, even therapists. Save yourself and leave. Life can be a lot better without this burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

If I love him or care about him then definitely yes.

From your post it's obvious that you don't love or care for him and no kids are involved so you don't need to stay unhappy just because he earn money and clean house.

That being said, lot of DCUM women would happily settle for a nice and employed guy who can carry the load of household chores.

Only you can decide what you want in life.

[Anonymous]

Bad at sex? Seems like such an easy fix, just get on top. Why did you marry him if you knew he was "bad at sex?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you take a vow to stay with him? Does your promise mean anything? Or were those just pretty words you said for show, and that you didn’t really mean? Serious questions.

Apparently not. People rush into and out of marriages without much consideration or any sense of sincerity and loyalty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have shared interests? does you libido match his?

Not a lot of shared interests. My libido is higher.

Why marry someone you don't have much in common with or physically compatible with? Why not take time to find out before marrying?

[Anonymous]

Was yours an arranged marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bad at sex? Seems like such an easy fix, just get on top. Why did you marry him if you knew he was "bad at sex?"

np, DH is not great at sex, but he tries and makes sure I go first, and unlike OP, DH likes to be emotionally, and physically connected.

For me, good sex isn't as important as shared values and future goals for the relationship/family. And of course, goes without saying, he's a good person and is good to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

I did and I wish I hadn't and now I'm old. If you're younger I would leave. It gets worse all of it and the loneliness they pull away even more once you're there they don't care. Don't be like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have shared interests? does you libido match his?

Not a lot of shared interests. My libido is higher.

Can you get some more shared interests or hobbies with him to connect and spend more time together? Try that.