Would you stay in this marriage?

[Anonymous]

Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t, but that’s me. What drew you to him in the first place? How are you impacted by his inability to connect?

If you want kids, you should not have them with him; that would be a world of misery.

[Anonymous]

Do you have shared interests? does you libido match his?

[Anonymous]

His cleverness and seeming like a good person drew me to him…but the lack of connection is wearing me down. I feel lonely, unseen and I do all the work at maintaining the emotional side of the relationship. No intention of having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have shared interests? does you libido match his?

Not a lot of shared interests. My libido is higher.

[Anonymous]

Did you take a vow to stay with him? Does your promise mean anything? Or were those just pretty words you said for show, and that you didn’t really mean? Serious questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you take a vow to stay with him? Does your promise mean anything? Or were those just pretty words you said for show, and that you didn’t really mean? Serious questions.

OP, ignore this simpleton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have shared interests? does you libido match his?

Not a lot of shared interests. My libido is higher.

I’d leave the marriage. No kids? Won’t be too complicated.

Certainly easier than a life of loneliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

I’m in a marriage with this man plus kids. It is awful. The kids add stress that makes the ASD so much worse. And the kids could get it too. Sex is nonexistent. It is very complicated and lonely. Ask yourself why you’re still with this man?

My advice? Run.

[Anonymous]

I'd leave.

[Anonymous]

Leave. Why do that to yourself? You have no kids. Being alone would be better than being with someone who can’t see you and your needs.

[Anonymous]

No kids? I’d leave.

[Anonymous]

In a minute. I would have never married him though. Did you know he was special before you married him?
I didn't know mine was because he was hiding it well. He was from different culture and all his family was like him.Luckily didn't marry him and left after 9 years.
People take this marriage paper so seriously. I stayed til abuse got too much. He didn't think it was abuse not allowing me to go outside alone. He protected me from outside. I kid you not.

[Anonymous]

With no kids, I’d leave. My husband sounds a lot like this. He was a good partner before kids, but the chaos that came after has made his bad traits even worse and I regret not leaving sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband is a good person, decent job, works hard, does a lot around the house. Is on the spectrum probably (not diagnosed), cannot connect emotionally, bad at sex as can’t read body language and not very interested in spending time together. No kids.

Do you think you can do better? Are better? Are you sure?

Your writing style suggests that some introspection would help.