I Hate Save the Date

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone give me a list showing how many days in advance specific event reminders should be sent?

365 days for a wedding is out. Is it three months? Six months? Two weeks?

Summer STD should be sent out before Christmas at the latest. There are many families who have to get summer plans in line by mid January when some camp schedules open up and get booked within a week. Knowing which camps you don't have to put a deposit for or even pay entirely for is helpful.

For fall, you should send by the end of the school year at the latest. Again, so that when starting to plan things like fall sports, activities, school trips, etc, families can make appropriate plans.

Even if you aren't going to invite the kids, it is respectful to give parents heads-up that they need to make plans around certain dates. And they need to know before the schedules for various regular activities will come up.

[Anonymous]

We have a lot of people in our friend group/extended families who have either jobs where vacation has to be requested months in advance or who have several barriers they have to work through in order to make sure they can attend events. I see nothing wrong with STD and I don't really see how it is arrogant

[Anonymous]

I like them. I plan vacations 6m+ in advance. I was overseas on a fully paid vacation during a close friend's wedding and wished I had known the date in advance. I wasn't losing 10k on my trip though by backing out, plus I was traveling with other people.

[Anonymous]

For my daughter's wedding in June we sent them out in October

I appreciate save the dates, as someone who has to coordinate and bid for their time off at work it helps me to know as far in advance as possible!

[Anonymous]

Why do you hate it, OP? Why do you think it's arrogant?

[Anonymous]

An invitation is not a summons. Goes double for Save the Date. Its for people who WANT to attend. If that's not you, feel free to disregard.

[Anonymous]

This could not be more standard OP

[Anonymous]

Hey, PPs calling them "STDs," you do realize that's been the standard abbreviation for Sexually Transmitted Disease for many decades now, right? I know, it's now sometimes STI, for "infection" instead of "disease," but still, CDC and others use STD.

So it was quite a double-take for me, to skim the thread and see STD on a thread about wedding etiquette.

[Anonymous]

IF you'd like to know info way in advance, to prioritize, it's helpful
If it's not helpful to you Op, that's ok. It's helpful to others.

[Anonymous]

I had to make sure my uncles wouldn't buy Final Four Basketball Tournament tickets.

Of if they did, they had all information possible, and knew what they were deciding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like the idea of the STD, but nowadays people try to get them out earlier and earlier and "call dibs" on any event that day. If I get an STD a year in advance for an acquaintance but 8 months out for someone close, I'm going to go with the closer person. It's not a competition on who gets them out first.

They’re not competing for you. They’re informing you.

[Anonymous]

I’m still puzzled over the arrogance part. What is arrogant about a Save the Date? Is it that they are presuming you are going to attend? If so, then how does one go about sending any invite at all, if not to presume the invitees are going to attend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m still puzzled over the arrogance part. What is arrogant about a Save the Date? Is it that they are presuming you are going to attend? If so, then how does one go about sending any invite at all, if not to presume the invitees are going to attend?

OP suffers from lack of a spine and has received a Save the Date to an event she does not want to attend, and for whatever reason cannot just decline the (eventual) invitation.

[Anonymous]

I think it's helpful for planning purposes - especially things that involve travel.

[Anonymous]

Wow, I was going to post that it was very rude of you to include a photo of the actual card but after refreshing it turns out it was a targeted ad!