Common things that keep people unmarried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been noticing several of my single friends complaining about not being married (ages 35-42). I used to offer advice and even help with matchmaking. Now I’m starting to realize these people are single for a reason. Some are not emotionally available, some have very unrealistic expectations, some are selfish, some waste time in dead end matches. It made me wonder what are some other common ways people make getting married hard in this age range?

How many times do you need to hear it? Guys in that age range that have anything at all going for them can and do date 10-15 years younger. Are your friends targeting guys in their mid 40s to late 50s, who will most likely be divorced dads with teens or younger kids?

That's the best they can do. Be a potential step mommy. Otherwise they are undateable except for fwb purposes.

[Anonymous]

Single women make up 17% of homeowners. Single men? 9%. We don't need mediocre white men to live fulfilling lives.

https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/single-women-pursue-homeownership/#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20single%20women,percent%20of%20real%20estate%20purchases.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Men wouldn't make a big deal out of 15-20 pounds. I know because when I was dating my weight has fluctuated that much and I haven't observed any noticeable change in interest either way. It's only women of a certain type who notice a 5 lbs change in others. I don't know what the atory was with your friends but it's not the 15 lbs.

That pp didnt say the women were 15-20 pounds overweight. She was careful to say 15-20 pounds more than would be appealing to men. In other words anywhere from 40-60 pounds overweight, depending on the guy and the women.

Come on, lots of women and men are 40-60 lbs overweight or more and married. The problem only comes in when you’re 50 lbs overweight but you want a guy who has a body like Henry Cavill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Misogyny. Misogynist.

Crawl back into your spider hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

You gotta.go for a short unattractive gal then. Or try to make more money, that seems to make up for a lot.

[Anonymous]

The answer is always too-high expectations. Women who expect a rich, buff handsome prince to fall for their average self. Men who expect a bombshell to fall into their lap and overlook their low income and beer belly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Misogyny. Misogynist.

Crawl back into your spider hole.

I am the person who wrote this, a woman btw, and I don’t see how it is misogyny whatsoever. Women have expectations for the men we get involved with (job, hygiene, social skills, fitness level etc.), and no one calls that misandry!

And to address the other posters saying 15-20 lbs over typical male preference is no big deal - perhaps you are right. Perhaps it was more the haughty attitude that men’s preferences shouldn’t matter while refusing to compromise their own.

I just found it unfortunate because both of these women could have found a very good partner with a slight attitude/behavior adjustment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single women make up 17% of homeowners. Single men? 9%. We don't need mediocre white men to live fulfilling lives.

https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/single-women-pursue-homeownership/#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20single%20women,percent%20of%20real%20estate%20purchases.)

Watching my daughter date is funny. She rejected the last guy because he had a lot of student loans and lives at home and his mother looks after his laundry and meals. She is like “I can do better. I want a partner not to be someone’s mom.” I admire her high standards but feel a bit like the clock is ticking. Also funny how comfortable this generation is talking about money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

You gotta.go for a short unattractive gal then. Or try to make more money, that seems to make up for a lot.

Short women are the worst. They want crazy tall men (partly so their kids are less likely to be short).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Single women make up 17% of homeowners. Single men? 9%. We don't need mediocre white men to live fulfilling lives.

https://www.bankrate.com/mortgages/single-women-pursue-homeownership/#:~:text=As%20of%202023%2C%20single%20women,percent%20of%20real%20estate%20purchases.)

Watching my daughter date is funny. She rejected the last guy because he had a lot of student loans and lives at home and his mother looks after his laundry and meals. She is like “I can do better. I want a partner not to be someone’s mom.” I admire her high standards but feel a bit like the clock is ticking. Also funny how comfortable this generation is talking about money.

Depends what the loans are for. Med school? Fine. Women's studies phD? Not so much.

But enough about him. What does your daughter bring to the table?

[Anonymous]

I had a child with a disability in my early 20's. With a man in his late 30's who convinced me to keep the child- then left me to raise all alone, of course.

The child is fine and independent now, but the moment i say "I have a child with a disability" (even though it is mild i never get the chance to explain it) its game over for me so i don't event try, even though men "holla at" me daily i know i am still attractive enough.

Thats why i'm not married. People are shallow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

It's not that you are short it's that you are trying to date hot chicks. I have a ton of friends that would date a nice guy with a job who does not cheat and doesn't expect them to clean up after them no matter their height.

I suspect you look right through those women because they are not beautiful and skinny, and I'm not talking about obese, i'm talking normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I knew 2 women who were smart/accomplished and genuinely attractive facially, but neither thought they needed to work to be fit or well put together. They were both about 15-20 lbs heavier than they should have been to appeal to men, and they dressed in a casual, dumpy manner. They believed these things shouldn’t be important to men, and couldn’t understand why the men they were interested in wouldn’t reciprocate. Looking at social media they both appear to be single in their early 40’s despite not wanting that for themselves.

Misogyny. Misogynist.

Crawl back into your spider hole.

I am the person who wrote this, a woman btw, and I don’t see how it is misogyny whatsoever. Women have expectations for the men we get involved with (job, hygiene, social skills, fitness level etc.), and no one calls that misandry!

And to address the other posters saying 15-20 lbs over typical male preference is no big deal - perhaps you are right. Perhaps it was more the haughty attitude that men’s preferences shouldn’t matter while refusing to compromise their own.

I just found it unfortunate because both of these women could have found a very good partner with a slight attitude/behavior adjustment.

Your life view is distorted by 2 women. The vast majority of women expect a man to have to job and they will work too. Fitness level, no most men are hugely overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sadly high expectations is has a job, is not a slob, is kind and doesn’t cheat.

Not sure this list is complete. I tick those boxes but I’m short and not attractive and not outgoing and yet women aren’t drawn to me.

It's not that you are short it's that you are trying to date hot chicks. I have a ton of friends that would date a nice guy with a job who does not cheat and doesn't expect them to clean up after them no matter their height.

I suspect you look right through those women because they are not beautiful and skinny, and I'm not talking about obese, i'm talking normal.

FWIW my dad is short and my mom is tall and beautiful, and they've been happily married for over 50 years.

I'm married to a guy who is really overweight, and I love him to death.

Stereotypes about what this group of people will go for or that group of people won't are pretty off base. Be kind, funny, interested, interesting, not a total effin weirdo - you can meet someone you actually want to be with who will actually want to be with you.