AITStop smoking weed in the house

[Anonymous]

I smoke weed, my husband smokes weed, and basically all of his friends smoke A LOT (way more than either of us). None of us are at risk of losing our jobs or sleeping until noon on the weekend.

Is he self medicating for some other reason? I'd be really concerned about this. I dont personally allow anyone to smoke in my home (incl us) so we go outside, and anyone with kids also never smokes in their home (but often their garage). I do not think you are overreacting and I do not think you are the AH. Your husband needs to smarten up asap or he's going to torpedo your entire lives.

[Anonymous]

Please leave him. Don’t stay in this marriage. Even if his level of smoking weed was not threatening his job, it is going to turn you into a version of yourself that you won’t like. My mom stayed with my pot-smoking dad and yes, he clearly likes the high version of himself. He is now over 70 and just as annoying as he was at 40 when I first noticed it. And it make my mom shrewish and unhappy, at least some of the time.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he’s using the weed to self-medicate for mental health issues. Constantly being late for work, sleeping in and missing time with his kids, and being slovenly and making the house reek - it sounds like he’s depressed.

I would try being loving and supportive first. Tell him you’re worried about him and encourage him to get therapy. Give him a chance to get better.

And then set a mental deadline. How many more weeks can you tolerate this behavior? Start quietly preparing to leave, and hold yourself to moving on if he doesn’t stop. Don’t let him know about the deadline, use this time that he’s checked out to make preparations for divorce.

[Anonymous]

wow, super strong reactions here!

INFO NEEDED:
How many times have you had an adult conversation with your DH?
I am assuming you are in MD since it became legal this year .... so it's been only a grand total of FIVE MONTHs .... how frequently are we talking?
Do you drink alcohol?
Have you talk with him about vape or edibles?
Is he not concerned about the child with asthma?
What is his reason that "going outside doesn't work for him" and what solutions have you suggested? Heat lamp?

Personally, I think you are correct to have concern about indoor smoking due to having a child with asthma. But use of weed in general, esp in a state with legal recreational use, is not the hill you should divorce on. Everyone jumping to divorce is legit looney-tunes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow, super strong reactions here!

INFO NEEDED:
How many times have you had an adult conversation with your DH?
I am assuming you are in MD since it became legal this year .... so it's been only a grand total of FIVE MONTHs .... how frequently are we talking?
Do you drink alcohol?
Have you talk with him about vape or edibles?
Is he not concerned about the child with asthma?
What is his reason that "going outside doesn't work for him" and what solutions have you suggested? Heat lamp?

Personally, I think you are correct to have concern about indoor smoking due to having a child with asthma. But use of weed in general, esp in a state with legal recreational use, is not the hill you should divorce on. Everyone jumping to divorce is legit looney-tunes.

You missed that OP said, very clearly, that due to the smoking he is now frequently late for work and does not engage with his children. I suspect, since you seem to want to defend weed smoking, that you'll insist those things don't have anything to do with weed, and he might do them anyway even if he didn't smoke, but I'll take OP's word for it -- she's there, you aren't -- that he wasn't doing those things before he started smoking heavily. He's at risk at work. Do you not see any of that in her original post? Go back and read it if you didn't.

I am not in the "divorce immediately" camp here (yet), but I do think he has a substance problem because he uses a substance and it is causing problems.

Also, I see what you did there with the one line, "Do you drink alcohol?" If OP says yes, you'll jump to the idea of equating weed use with drinking, the "why is it OK to use alcohol and not weed?" stuff. Well, if she drinks to the point she's sleeping in, late to work, not doing what needs to be done with the kids, then she would have a drinking problem requiring help and possibly serious marital consequences. Since he is using weed to the point he's sleeping in, late to work, not doing what needs to be done with the kids, why doesn't HE have to admit he's got a weed problem and needs help?

[Anonymous]

Why do people keep posting AIT? It’s AITA. Why copy Reddit incorrectly?

[Anonymous]

Delta 9 THC gummies by Mood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH was a stoner in his 20s. The laid back type who never quite lived up to potential. He quit when we were trying to conceive.

10 years later weed is legal. He started smoking in our house without telling me. Of course, it’s pretty obvious. We had a talk about if he is smoking then it can not be in the house - we have 3 little kids and one with asthma.

So immature I have no respect for that and I would not put up with that at all. What message does that send to your kids?

No one wants to be married to a loser like that tell him that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:wow, super strong reactions here!

INFO NEEDED:
How many times have you had an adult conversation with your DH?
I am assuming you are in MD since it became legal this year .... so it's been only a grand total of FIVE MONTHs .... how frequently are we talking?
Do you drink alcohol?
Have you talk with him about vape or edibles?
Is he not concerned about the child with asthma?
What is his reason that "going outside doesn't work for him" and what solutions have you suggested? Heat lamp?

Personally, I think you are correct to have concern about indoor smoking due to having a child with asthma. But use of weed in general, esp in a state with legal recreational use, is not the hill you should divorce on. Everyone jumping to divorce is legit looney-tunes.

Bs no one wants to be married to a "man" like that. So trashy and immature. Literally who can respect a stoner husband? Tacky af. 40 yo man. Smh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Delta 9 THC gummies by Mood.

Gummies or vaping will only deal with the smoke and the stench. The infinitely bigger issue is that he uses weed to self-medicate or he just can't handle it, and he's going full-on stoner, late to work, being a crappy father, other changes. If he gave up smoking weed, he'd just gobble edibles until he got the same effects and would still be at risk of losing his job and maybe his family. The form won't matter, he'll need the same payoff. And the family will still be his second priority, not his first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weed should only be legal for medical purposes.

+1.

He needs to get treated for anxiety/depression or laziness. Whatever reason he is self-treating with this.