My Sixteen Year Old Son and Sexuality

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lay off, OP. You’re overstepping.

I am most definitely not overstepping with my own son in a conversation that arose very naturally from something he told me about someone else. And a remained to not respond unless you have something helpful, insightful and not rude to share. Go take your frustrations out on someone else or go for a run.

I’m not the frustrated one. You’re the one expressing frustration, after all.

[Anonymous]

No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a sixteen and a half year old son who has never shown interest in dating -- boys or girls. I've broached the subject, because we're open and talk about everything, and he says he's never been attracted to anyone. I told him that I was a late bloomer but long before I ever had my first kiss I imagined it and thought about it and he says he's definitely curious too. But says he doesn't know whether he's straight, gay or bi -- just chalks it up to never being attracted too someone. We were laughing because I very clearly saw two girls flirting with him this summer and when I brought that up I realized he had absolutely no idea they were flirting. Now, on the one hand, no biggie. I'm happy that as a junior he's just focusing on friends and schoolwork. However, I find it curious because everything I know about teens boys says their hormones are raging at this age. Or is he just a late bloomer? I guess my one worry is this so called rise in these asexual boys because of video games. And whether he's straight or gay, I'd like him to be something.

Why? Genuine question

Why? Because I think life is fuller with a relationship.

My asexual DH is in a wonderful relationship and has a very full life.

Chill out. DC will find his way.

[Anonymous]

But says he doesn't know whether he's straight, gay or bi -- just chalks it up to never being attracted too someone.

If he was straight he would know it even if there wasn't anyone he'd be attracted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lay off, OP. You’re overstepping.

I am most definitely not overstepping with my own son in a conversation that arose very naturally from something he told me about someone else. And a remained to not respond unless you have something helpful, insightful and not rude to share. Go take your frustrations out on someone else or go for a run.

I’m with you, OP! You are not overstepping. You’re parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lay off, OP. You’re overstepping.

I am most definitely not overstepping with my own son in a conversation that arose very naturally from something he told me about someone else. And a remained to not respond unless you have something helpful, insightful and not rude to share. Go take your frustrations out on someone else or go for a run.

I’m with you, OP! You are not overstepping. You’re parenting.

You’re not fooling anybody, OP. We know you wrote that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

I’m not OP but if you truly feel this way that’s too bad for you and especially your son, if you have one.

My 15 year old talks to me about girls and how he feels all the time. He’s asked me when I lost my virginity. We have an open honest relationship and I firmly believe he’ll be a better adult for it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me navigate teen dating and relationships.

When he does have a girlfriend and I suspect they’re about be to be sexually active I’ll feel confident he will be better equipped to handle that stuff and even bring me into problems or concerns.

And if a teen doesn’t feel that life is better with close relationships then he’s wrong. Empirically wrong. Humans are social creatures and study after study shows close relationships are key to lifelong happiness and health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lay off, OP. You’re overstepping.

I am most definitely not overstepping with my own son in a conversation that arose very naturally from something he told me about someone else. And a remained to not respond unless you have something helpful, insightful and not rude to share. Go take your frustrations out on someone else or go for a run.

I’m with you, OP! You are not overstepping. You’re parenting.

You’re not fooling anybody, OP. We know you wrote that.

Nope, I’m the PP and I wrote that as well. I don’t understand why it’s overstepping to talk to kids about sex and relationships! It’s part of being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

I’m not OP but if you truly feel this way that’s too bad for you and especially your son, if you have one.

My 15 year old talks to me about girls and how he feels all the time. He’s asked me when I lost my virginity. We have an open honest relationship and I firmly believe he’ll be a better adult for it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me navigate teen dating and relationships.

When he does have a girlfriend and I suspect they’re about be to be sexually active I’ll feel confident he will be better equipped to handle that stuff and even bring me into problems or concerns.

And if a teen doesn’t feel that life is better with close relationships then he’s wrong. Empirically wrong. Humans are social creatures and study after study shows close relationships are key to lifelong happiness and health.

Gross, overstepping, weird, and sock puppeting.

[Anonymous]

OP - he could be any one of the 61 recognized genders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

I’m not OP but if you truly feel this way that’s too bad for you and especially your son, if you have one.

My 15 year old talks to me about girls and how he feels all the time. He’s asked me when I lost my virginity. We have an open honest relationship and I firmly believe he’ll be a better adult for it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me navigate teen dating and relationships.

When he does have a girlfriend and I suspect they’re about be to be sexually active I’ll feel confident he will be better equipped to handle that stuff and even bring me into problems or concerns.

And if a teen doesn’t feel that life is better with close relationships then he’s wrong. Empirically wrong. Humans are social creatures and study after study shows close relationships are key to lifelong happiness and health.

But OP’s kid either doesn’t want to talk about it or doesn’t know yet. That’s different from your kid. That’s the difference.

[Anonymous]

My son is 17 and says he thinks he’s probably ace or at least demi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

I’m not OP but if you truly feel this way that’s too bad for you and especially your son, if you have one.

My 15 year old talks to me about girls and how he feels all the time. He’s asked me when I lost my virginity. We have an open honest relationship and I firmly believe he’ll be a better adult for it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me navigate teen dating and relationships.

When he does have a girlfriend and I suspect they’re about be to be sexually active I’ll feel confident he will be better equipped to handle that stuff and even bring me into problems or concerns.

And if a teen doesn’t feel that life is better with close relationships then he’s wrong. Empirically wrong. Humans are social creatures and study after study shows close relationships are key to lifelong happiness and health.

Gross, overstepping, weird, and sock puppeting.

Serious question - who do you want your 15 or 16 year old kids to talk to about relationships, perhaps even including sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he's being honest, but the first thing that jumped to my mind is that although you think "we're open and talk about everything," he may not want to talk about this with a parent - or perhaps anyone - and is just trying to shut down the conversation. If he comes to you, definitely talk with him, but on behalf of former awkward teenage boys, please don't bring it up again. Also, it's perfectly understandable that you want him to be a certain way, but a parent's job is to not impose their preferences on their children.

I see this dynamic play out so often. The mom talks, then starts asking awkward questions and has a one-way dialogue about feelings while the husband or teen boy says “uh huh” and then the mom thinks they had a lovely deep conversation and the man was like “Thank God that is over.”

I am a mom with boys. I think it’s better to drop hints that invite sharing to a welcome audience, but don’t require responses. When they are ready, they’ll share.

But browbeating them doesn’t work. They’ll shut down and say whatever they think will make you go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No 16 year old boy wants to talk to mommy about sex, nor does he appreciate getting the feeling that he’s being judged because mommy’s view that “life is more fulfilling in a relationship” might not be a view that he agrees with.

Mommy is overstepping and probably really weirding him out.

I’m not OP but if you truly feel this way that’s too bad for you and especially your son, if you have one.

My 15 year old talks to me about girls and how he feels all the time. He’s asked me when I lost my virginity. We have an open honest relationship and I firmly believe he’ll be a better adult for it. I wish my parents would’ve helped me navigate teen dating and relationships.

When he does have a girlfriend and I suspect they’re about be to be sexually active I’ll feel confident he will be better equipped to handle that stuff and even bring me into problems or concerns.

And if a teen doesn’t feel that life is better with close relationships then he’s wrong. Empirically wrong. Humans are social creatures and study after study shows close relationships are key to lifelong happiness and health.

Gross, overstepping, weird, and sock puppeting.

only sock puppet here is you.