The Santa myth: harmless fun, or a myth that harms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

It's a mystery for sure. Previous generations grew up safe and logical, many believing in Santa. This one? I'm not sure there's much hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

Parents can tell their kids anything they want regardless of how lacking of truth it is. It’s not anyone else’s job though to play along in the make-believe land you created.

People who approach life rationally and logically can teach kids so much more than a fantasy that “drives” reindeer through the sky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

Oh please. What you’re described is not only incredibly rare, but considering the kind of person you are (a no fun one) I’m pretty sure nobody who thinks that way has much to do with you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, Santa isn’t harmful. It’s a fun tradition with a very short window, that children naturally grow out of. And then they do the same for their own children because they remember how awesome it was.

IDK. People who were spanked/beat as a child are more likely to spank/beat as parents. I don't think it's because it was awesome for them.

Well, that was quite the stretch. I’m sorry for whatever has happened in your life that you would equate “presents from Santa” with getting beaten by your parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

PP you’re quoting - I’m totally with you both on how hard it is to be a kid and how harmful it is to lie and threaten (?!) a kid when they question. We’ve never done that. When our kids ask us questions, we tell them the truth, age-appropriately. They’re 12, 10, and 7 now and don’t believe anymore. We never pushed hard about Santa being real and when they each said, in turn, they knew he wasn’t real, we agreed.

The gaslighting you’re describing is absolutely abusive. I know only one parent who has done that and he’s got a personality disorder.

My larger point was the all-or-nothing approach that so many people, including parents, take to life. That’s not a healthy way to think about the world because it’s not reality-based, among other reasons.

[Anonymous]

The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

Oh please. What you’re described is not only incredibly rare, but considering the kind of person you are (a no fun one) I’m pretty sure nobody who thinks that way has much to do with you anyway.

PP. Do you genuinely think parents trying to get their kids to continue to believe in Santa is rare? Or are your just feeling defensive? because the "no fun" comment is also weird. You don't understand how to have fun without lying to children?

[Anonymous]

Kids don’t need lies or presents wrapped in shiny paper to be happy. (It’s bad for the environment, anyway.)

[Anonymous]

Here’s what happens with 99.9999 percent of kids who grow up in homes where they celebrate Christmas and are told about Santa: the kid figures out that Santa is bullshit before the parent knows the kid has figured it out, but the kid goes along with it because they don’t want to sabotage the presents. So there’s a little bit of lying on both ends. And it’s all in good fun, builds fond memories and is not only harmless but nice.

Stop being so uptight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

Troll fail. Nobody is gonna bite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happens with 99.9999 percent of kids who grow up in homes where they celebrate Christmas and are told about Santa: the kid figures out that Santa is bullshit before the parent knows the kid has figured it out, but the kid goes along with it because they don’t want to sabotage the presents. So there’s a little bit of lying on both ends. And it’s all in good fun, builds fond memories and is not only harmless but nice.

Stop being so uptight.

Citation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

Oh please. What you’re described is not only incredibly rare, but considering the kind of person you are (a no fun one) I’m pretty sure nobody who thinks that way has much to do with you anyway.

PP. Do you genuinely think parents trying to get their kids to continue to believe in Santa is rare? Or are your just feeling defensive? because the "no fun" comment is also weird. You don't understand how to have fun without lying to children?

You have every right to parent your own kids as no fun as you’d like. And we can parent our kids however we want to, too. I’m betting when all is said and done, though, ours are going to end up happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

Given the obscene income disparity in this country I agree with you whole heartedly. Some children who are good all year but poor get nothing over the Christian holiday while some children who are privileged but rotten get their heart’s desire from Santa. It’s an incredibly damaging myth rooted in the same worldview that fueled MAGA. Time for it to be retired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s what happens with 99.9999 percent of kids who grow up in homes where they celebrate Christmas and are told about Santa: the kid figures out that Santa is bullshit before the parent knows the kid has figured it out, but the kid goes along with it because they don’t want to sabotage the presents. So there’s a little bit of lying on both ends. And it’s all in good fun, builds fond memories and is not only harmless but nice.

Stop being so uptight.

Citation?

The sky is blue. Do I need a citation for that too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

Oh please. What you’re described is not only incredibly rare, but considering the kind of person you are (a no fun one) I’m pretty sure nobody who thinks that way has much to do with you anyway.

PP. Do you genuinely think parents trying to get their kids to continue to believe in Santa is rare? Or are your just feeling defensive? because the "no fun" comment is also weird. You don't understand how to have fun without lying to children?

You have every right to parent your own kids as no fun as you’d like. And we can parent our kids however we want to, too. I’m betting when all is said and done, though, ours are going to end up happier.

Ah. Defensive it is.