Reply to The Santa myth: harmless fun, or a myth that harms?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

[b]How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?[/b]

[/quote]

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical.  What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: [b]people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.[/b][/quote]

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.[/quote]

PP you’re quoting - I’m totally with you both on how hard it is to be a kid and how harmful it is to lie and threaten (?!) a kid when they question.  We’ve never done that.  When our kids ask us questions, we tell them the truth, age-appropriately.  They’re 12, 10, and 7 now and don’t believe anymore.  We never pushed hard about Santa being real and when they each said, in turn, they knew he wasn’t real, we agreed.

The gaslighting you’re describing is absolutely abusive.  I know only one parent who has done that and he’s got a personality disorder.

My larger point was the all-or-nothing approach that so many people, including parents, take to life.  That’s not a healthy way to think about the world because it’s not reality-based, among other reasons.  [/quote]

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