The Santa myth: harmless fun, or a myth that harms?

[Anonymous]

Santa seems racist- he doesn’t have any black, hispanic, asian, or native elves.

Santa is for rich white kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

Oh please. What you’re described is not only incredibly rare, but considering the kind of person you are (a no fun one) I’m pretty sure nobody who thinks that way has much to do with you anyway.

PP. Do you genuinely think parents trying to get their kids to continue to believe in Santa is rare? Or are your just feeling defensive? because the "no fun" comment is also weird. You don't understand how to have fun without lying to children?

You have every right to parent your own kids as no fun as you’d like. And we can parent our kids however we want to, too. I’m betting when all is said and done, though, ours are going to end up happier.

Ah. Defensive it is.

I don’t think you know what “defensive” means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Santa seems racist- he doesn’t have any black, hispanic, asian, or native elves.

Santa is for rich white kids.

Your trolling is too obvious. Tone it down if you want people to fall for it, like the other PP said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

They also breathed oxygen. To prove we are better, we must stop breathing oxygen.

[Anonymous]

I did not want to lie to my kids. So I told them from the beginning that I was Santa and put the things in their stockings. They interpreted that as that I worked for Santa and was his regional distributor. This was preschool. Kids that age like to believe in magic.

We are not Christian. We are UU and celebrate a Yule of sorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, Santa isn’t harmful. It’s a fun tradition with a very short window, that children naturally grow out of. And then they do the same for their own children because they remember how awesome it was.

IDK. People who were spanked/beat as a child are more likely to spank/beat as parents. I don't think it's because it was awesome for them.

Well, that was quite the stretch. I’m sorry for whatever has happened in your life that you would equate “presents from Santa” with getting beaten by your parents.

I just have a professional familiarity with repeating family behavioral patterns. They are often not rooted in "how awesome" something was....more likely just what people are used to or expect.

And, as someone else pointed out, there are generational standards to consider. In my parents generation it would have been considered really weird to not teach your kid about Santa because you "wanted them to trust you". A child believing (and obeying) a parent was just a given. There wasn't really as much thought given to the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think Santa is harmful to children? Do you tell your kids there’s no Santa because you want them thinking logically and rationally?

How do we keep our kids safe and logical when Santa keeps threatening their independent and reality based lives with presents and candy we all know he doesn’t bring?

Teaching our kids all-or-nothing thinking does not keep them safe, nor is it logical. What if your kid has an imaginary friend they created - are you going to disabuse them of that notion, because you think it won’t keep them safe or logical?

Newsflash: people can be logical and rational *and also* believe in imagination and fun and make-believe, especially for kids.

NP. We never did Santa for our kids, but I agree with this. What creeps me out is when the parents outright lie and threaten when kids start to question about Santa. "You think it's not true? Well I guess you won't get any presents this year!" Inevitably the reason they do this is for themselves, because they want their child "to have the magic" for longer. It's so, so weird.

It's hard to be a kid. You're incredibly vulnerable and your brain and body go through so many changes. Why some parents think it's ok to start gaslighting, instead of celebrating the new cognitive growth that has occurred, is beyond me.

I agree with you 100%. I always did Santa but in kind of a pretend, overly dramatic way to where by the time my kids were about 7 years old they seemed to think it was probably not real. And when they asked I always told them the truth “but it’s so fun to pretend if you want to keep pretending”. One didn’t pretend anymore and one pretended until age 9 or so. And guess what…. Christmas was always just as fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not want to lie to my kids. So I told them from the beginning that I was Santa and put the things in their stockings. They interpreted that as that I worked for Santa and was his regional distributor. This was preschool. Kids that age like to believe in magic.

We are not Christian. We are UU and celebrate a Yule of sorts.

So you lied by omission. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

Given the obscene income disparity in this country I agree with you whole heartedly. Some children who are good all year but poor get nothing over the Christian holiday while some children who are privileged but rotten get their heart’s desire from Santa. It’s an incredibly damaging myth rooted in the same worldview that fueled MAGA. Time for it to be retired.

Santa is definitely MAGA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not want to lie to my kids. So I told them from the beginning that I was Santa and put the things in their stockings. They interpreted that as that I worked for Santa and was his regional distributor. This was preschool. Kids that age like to believe in magic.

We are not Christian. We are UU and celebrate a Yule of sorts.

That's hilarious. My kids didn't have Santa but they figured out early on that the UPS man brought amazing things to our house. One of my kids went to day care with a child whose dad worked for UPS. My son's eyes would *glow* when he saw that guy in uniform during drop off, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same generations that spanked their kids promoted Santa. They were also extremely racist and homophobic. Santa needs to fall by the wayside as a vestige of a by-gone era.

They also breathed oxygen. To prove we are better, we must stop breathing oxygen.

I completely agree. I learned a pattern of behavior from my parents of kindness and affection…we simply MUST break the chain.

[Anonymous]

Santa Claus as a character and a fun idea is great — meaning the Santa that inhabits the world of some adults because they choose to enjoy him, the way other people enjoy the idea of Batman or Superman or any other of the myriad of available fictional reference points.

Santa as a real person on the order of a divine being with near-omniscience, the power to reward and punish, etc., is not so great, in no small part because there comes a day when kids “figure out” he’s mythical and that they’ve been lied to by the people it is most important for them to be able to trust unconditionally.

I had no interest in the Santa “thing” for our DC. Unfortunately, the school chose to insert it into our lives. I’d rather that hadn’t occurred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Santa Claus as a character and a fun idea is great — meaning the Santa that inhabits the world of some adults because they choose to enjoy him, the way other people enjoy the idea of Batman or Superman or any other of the myriad of available fictional reference points.

Santa as a real person on the order of a divine being with near-omniscience, the power to reward and punish, etc., is not so great, in no small part because there comes a day when kids “figure out” he’s mythical and that they’ve been lied to by the people it is most important for them to be able to trust unconditionally.

I had no interest in the Santa “thing” for our DC. Unfortunately, the school chose to insert it into our lives. I’d rather that hadn’t occurred.

Nobody I know has ever threatened their kids with Santa. You people have lost your marbles.

[Anonymous]

I grew up believing in Santa and it was magical and I still think of it fondly. I distinctly remember when I found out santa was not real. I was 8, and I found the giftw "front Santa" in my mom's closet.

I never did Santa with my kids. I taught them that Santa goes to the house of the children who believe in him, but that in our house I bought the presents.

It was never a problem. I don't care what other parents do with their children and I don't get why anyone would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up believing in Santa and it was magical and I still think of it fondly. I distinctly remember when I found out santa was not real. I was 8, and I found the giftw "front Santa" in my mom's closet.

I never did Santa with my kids. I taught them that Santa goes to the house of the children who believe in him, but that in our house I bought the presents.

It was never a problem. I don't care what other parents do with their children and I don't get why anyone would.

So why did you take the fun away then?