Has anyone started a completely new life?

[Anonymous]

Yes, but it was to evade a stalker. New name, new town, no internet or social media presence -none of my relatives or friends talks or posts about me. No one in my new life (except dh) knows about my old life. I never return to where I came from. I've been happy living this way for 15+ years. He hasn't found me since and this guy was relentless, stalking me for nearly 10 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My work colleague did - requested a transfer to a new office my firm was opening in Chicago. To make this happen she divorced her abusive husband and left her three troubled teenage sons on the East Coast. Moved to Chicago with only her clothes and a bed in her early 40s - a few years later she met and married the love of her life, and almost 30 years later, they are still married and very much in love.

That makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

Me but not suddenly- more through attrition of clients for my freelance work during Covid. L moved to a new area ona property with lots of land and two guest houses. Started focusing on our real estate and wound up making more short and long term renting than I could at my old business. Haven’t looked back.

[Anonymous]

I did. People say you can’t run away from yourself, but you can. I was 29, living in Chicago struggling to make it in the arts and profoundly depressed. I didn’t like the people around me and didn’t like myself. I applied to Tulane Law on a whim because I’d been obsessed with New Orleans for years after reading Ann Rice novels. I thought if I moved there for something “respectable” like law school people wouldn’t think I was crazy. I randomly ended up loving law school and Mew Orleans and life changed drastically and totally improved.

[Anonymous]

My sister! Her husband and son died in a car crash in 2017. She was left with my 22 month old niece. For about a year she tried to make it work in her/our hometown but she realized she would never get out from under the story. Our family is large and the accident had some criminal charges with another well known family and just anywhere she went or did the story followed her. She decided before putting my niece in preschool she was gonna completely start over. So she moved to a random city (literally just picked a medium size city 4 states over) and changed her last name and distanced herself from all of us for about 3 years. (We still communicated and saw eachother for Xmas but it was drastic as we all use to see eachother a few times a week). For her it was the only way she could make it. She needed to grieve in peace and just had to completely change everything about herself. She changed her hair, her personal style, everything. It was almost like that version of her died and she buried her and ran. It’s odd now because her new husband and youngest daughter know almost nothing about “her old life”. Even her oldest daughter, it’s more like a story she knows vs something she remembers. It’s hard for my mom and other siblings but we know it was the only way. For a long time we couldn’t really even visit her much. She would say “the black cloud follows you all and I am trying to breath.” It was incredibly difficult for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I moved across the country, changed careers (I went to school at night for a degree in a new field while working in the old one), and legally changed my name. I needed to get away from where I grew up and those people and the associations with all of it. I don't mind running into some people I used to know and just tell them "Actually I go by my confirmation name, Kristin now" and that's that. But it's only happened twice in over 20 years.

Wow! Where did you move to?

[Anonymous]

I'd love to start over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My work colleague did - requested a transfer to a new office my firm was opening in Chicago. To make this happen she divorced her abusive husband and left her three troubled teenage sons on the East Coast. Moved to Chicago with only her clothes and a bed in her early 40s - a few years later she met and married the love of her life, and almost 30 years later, they are still married and very much in love.

How did her sons turn out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My work colleague did - requested a transfer to a new office my firm was opening in Chicago. To make this happen she divorced her abusive husband and left her three troubled teenage sons on the East Coast. Moved to Chicago with only her clothes and a bed in her early 40s - a few years later she met and married the love of her life, and almost 30 years later, they are still married and very much in love.

Those poor children.

[Anonymous]

I was a dancer and suddenly quit to became a lawyer. I use first initial, middle name as my professional name and no one recognizes me. I wasn't ever super famous but danced with some good companies. Sometimes dance blogs will write "whatever happened to" articles about me but they just have wild rumors. My google is clean. I never keep up with old dance friends. It's too toxic with drugs and ED to go back to that life.

[Anonymous]

My exDH did this. Went completely awol, ditched all old longtime friends and family, hung with younger crowd, started dressing completely different, flying around the world to music festivals, partying, out every night etc. almost no contact with me or kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a dancer and suddenly quit to became a lawyer. I use first initial, middle name as my professional name and no one recognizes me. I wasn't ever super famous but danced with some good companies. Sometimes dance blogs will write "whatever happened to" articles about me but they just have wild rumors. My google is clean. I never keep up with old dance friends. It's too toxic with drugs and ED to go back to that life.

I'm the PP at 20:07. Similar for me ... I was an actress before law school.

[Anonymous]

I was young, married and in grad school and living in Chicago. I was working in retail, and so unhappy. I couldn't put my finger on why and then one day it finally hit me.

Left the husband. Left Chicago.Moved to DC and focused on career. After many years, I finally remarried and had kids.

So very happy now.

[Anonymous]

Sort of. I graduated from law school and practiced for a couple of years. Hated it. Moved to a different city and worked as a waitress.
I've run into old friends/classmates and just mumble "Sorry don't speak English" and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to do this, but take my DH and kid with me. I just want to start over somewhere new. I hate where I live and the people I live around, and I think the stress of being here is literally making me sick.

+1
Me too! Except I don't hate the people, just hate the familiarity and I want a little anonymity. I know being here is bad for me but I have to stick it out for a while. I also am not sure where a good place to go would be.