How concerning is this for a 10 year old boy? Video game addiction and pathological lying

[Anonymous]

Is it normal to let boys this young play games and communicate with online persons? I assume the boys are local friends but I am not completely sure. The idea of your little child associating with God knows who random delinquents for hours on end seems pretty reckless. That makes them closer “friends” than actual real life friends who you might only see briefly at lunch.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Sounds like a kid trying to see what his limits are in a new environment. Lay down the law and let the consequences do the rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you piling on your nephew, OP? You are being a bully. You're his aunt. He can tell that you do not like him at all. Kids know. Stop being a jerk.

I don’t tolerate pathological lying. It’s really hurtful and so alarming. This isn’t a 17 year old lying about curfew it’s a little boy with elaborate lies to not go to school or sports to play a video game.

[Anonymous]

He is hooked on the videos games. I've never played on but I hear they are addictive.
He can't control his emotions and feeling about it when he doesn't get to play them. Our nine year old is just as addicted, but he would never act like that with other relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is hooked on the videos games. I've never played on but I hear they are addictive.
He can't control his emotions and feeling about it when he doesn't get to play them. Our nine year old is just as addicted, but he would never act like that with other relatives.

And you know this how?

FWIW, my DS has tested boundaries with my SIL, his aunt, and she has responded firmly and then moved on. That would be my recommendation to OP, lay out the rules, enforce them, and don't hold any of this against him. Move on. Each day is a new day.

[Anonymous]

First of all, it's not pathological lying. Pathological lying is when people just lie all the time instinctually, like it's their default. Lying in a specific instance for a specific purpose (ie, to get more time with video games) is not pathological.

Second of all, it's not "concerning" - A kid lying to get more time to do something they want to do is just... kids testing boundaries. Kids try things. He's 10. Yes, it's something to tell the parents so they can address.

Meanwhile, the next time he said he was sick, I would say "I heard you talking to your friends about lying to get more video games. We don't tolerate lying in this house, and I would never lie to you to get something I wanted. You get 30 minutes per day of video games, and that's it." Then I would carefully enforce the 30 minutes and work hard to find some fun things to do the rest of the time so he enjoys his trip.

Really, this isn't anything to get dramatic about. Just regular kids being kids. Hold boundary, move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you piling on your nephew, OP? You are being a bully. You're his aunt. He can tell that you do not like him at all. Kids know. Stop being a jerk.

I don’t tolerate pathological lying. It’s really hurtful and so alarming. This isn’t a 17 year old lying about curfew it’s a little boy with elaborate lies to not go to school or sports to play a video game.

Exactly. Nephew’s behavior is in fact extremely concerning. I suspect his parents are neglecting enforcement of healthy boundaries for their boy. Do they spoil him in other ways as well?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, video games and devices are well designed to be addictive. That’s why I’m holding off as much as I can with my kid.

[Anonymous]

You're overly dramatic. He's not pathologically lying. You clearly don't understand what that means and you don't know that he has a video game addiction based off this interaction. He's acting like a 10 yo boy. Call him on the lying, hold him accountable and then move on. You and a few other pp also sound extremely judgemental towards his parents. He may very well have the 30 minute video game boundary at home that he is held accountable to, but he testing with you because again, that's what 10yo's do.

[Anonymous]

Time to re-watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. this is neither concerning nor atypical. Most 10 year old boys would rather play video games than do just about anything else (I know that someone will comment that their prodigy prefers RSM and cello to video games).

This isn’t advanced level adulting. Set the boundaries, take the controllers after the prescribed time limit, call him on his BS, and perhaps schedule some fun activities with all the kiddos. He’s away from his parents and may be missing them as well. While he could very well be “addicted” to video games, he also is likely out of his comfort zone without all the tools to process that change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you piling on your nephew, OP? You are being a bully. You're his aunt. He can tell that you do not like him at all. Kids know. Stop being a jerk.

I don’t tolerate pathological lying. It’s really hurtful and so alarming. This isn’t a 17 year old lying about curfew it’s a little boy with elaborate lies to not go to school or sports to play a video game.

Who wants to tell OP what her teen daughters are likely doing behind her back?

[Anonymous]

Put away the video games.

[Anonymous]

This is obviously not acceptable and requires correction, but it’s also within the range of normal as opposed to “extremely concerning.” For example, many of his friends are doing the same thing.

[Anonymous]

This is not "pathological lying". This a normal kid pulling a normal stunt.

[Anonymous]