How concerning is this for a 10 year old boy? Video game addiction and pathological lying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you piling on your nephew, OP? You are being a bully. You're his aunt. He can tell that you do not like him at all. Kids know. Stop being a jerk.

I don’t tolerate pathological lying. It’s really hurtful and so alarming. This isn’t a 17 year old lying about curfew it’s a little boy with elaborate lies to not go to school or sports to play a video game.

Who wants to tell OP what her teen daughters are likely doing behind her back?

What, or who?

[Anonymous]

No big deal that a video game addiction turns a sweet little boy into an unhinged liar, so says the DCUM moms. The gaming machine should be tossed in the pool if it turns your child into a monster.

[Anonymous]

It's called addiction. Our pediatrician warned us that they see a lot of patients with addiction to electronics. She advises against video games and smart phones for as long as possible and no TVs in their room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is not "pathological lying". This a normal kid pulling a normal stunt.

+1. I faked sick in school to stay home and read. It's a thing kids do. You address it, but, because the subject is video games, this thread is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Normal behavior. My kids say they are sick all the time to try and get more screen time, but you have to hold fast to the rules! Kids test boundaries at this age, it’s normal and expected. They aren’t monsters, and are probably missing their parents and normal routine as well. Relax on the dramatic language.

[Anonymous]

OP, jumping straight to "pathological lying and video game addiction" is pretty overdramatic, don't you think?

Didn't any of you guys love Ferris Bueller? All kids like to daydream about skipping school. He's 10 and testing boundaries and trying to be cool while he talks to his friends. Lying to your face about being sick is wrong of course, but it's such a bad attempt that it's almost laughable. And it's still within the realm of what 10 year olds do IMO. The more important thing is if this is a phase or if it gets worse with time, and that's for his parents to deal with.

OP, you just worry about what goes on in your house, and all the PPs gave good advice about being "too sick for screens" and having to have crappy chicken soup while everyone else has pizza. Unplug the consoles if you have to. Then just tell his parents everything, and let them deal with it.

I hope some day you'll look back at this with your nephew and laugh together. Don't immediately write him off because he's acting like a sassy 10 year old.

PS - And I won't even touch on the "I only have teenage girls so I never experienced this" crap. I have known PLENTY of teenage girls who lied to their parents to do something they weren't allowed to do.

[Anonymous]

OP you are a terrible aunt. Do your best for the boy and keep him off video games but no need to call him a pathological liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all, it's not pathological lying. Pathological lying is when people just lie all the time instinctually, like it's their default. Lying in a specific instance for a specific purpose (ie, to get more time with video games) is not pathological.

Second of all, it's not "concerning" - A kid lying to get more time to do something they want to do is just... kids testing boundaries. Kids try things. He's 10. Yes, it's something to tell the parents so they can address.

Meanwhile, the next time he said he was sick, I would say "I heard you talking to your friends about lying to get more video games. We don't tolerate lying in this house, and I would never lie to you to get something I wanted. You get 30 minutes per day of video games, and that's it." Then I would carefully enforce the 30 minutes and work hard to find some fun things to do the rest of the time so he enjoys his trip.

Really, this isn't anything to get dramatic about. Just regular kids being kids. Hold boundary, move on.

I wouldn't tell a kid that we don't tolerate lying. Lying is almost always a bad thing but everyone lies. And these kids are eventually going to catch parents lying about something.

Focus on why he has to go to school and take away the video games. Tell him you overheard his plan, and it shows that he is not ready to have access to video games during the school week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are a terrible aunt. Do your best for the boy and keep him off video games but no need to call him a pathological liar.

+1.

And don't agree to host kids without parents next time. You are not fit.

[Anonymous]

He’s not murdering small animals. Put away the games, turn off the WiFi and tell him YOUR house rules. Simple adulting.

[Anonymous]

I think enforcing those rules is too big an ask for free babysitting. I would just do what works with your family and the sibling should be beyond grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, jumping straight to "pathological lying and video game addiction" is pretty overdramatic, don't you think?

Didn't any of you guys love Ferris Bueller? All kids like to daydream about skipping school. He's 10 and testing boundaries and trying to be cool while he talks to his friends. Lying to your face about being sick is wrong of course, but it's such a bad attempt that it's almost laughable. And it's still within the realm of what 10 year olds do IMO. The more important thing is if this is a phase or if it gets worse with time, and that's for his parents to deal with.

OP, you just worry about what goes on in your house, and all the PPs gave good advice about being "too sick for screens" and having to have crappy chicken soup while everyone else has pizza. Unplug the consoles if you have to. Then just tell his parents everything, and let them deal with it.

I hope some day you'll look back at this with your nephew and laugh together. Don't immediately write him off because he's acting like a sassy 10 year old.

PS - And I won't even touch on the "I only have teenage girls so I never experienced this" crap. I have known PLENTY of teenage girls who lied to their parents to do something they weren't allowed to do.

Ferris was an 18 year old high school senior. 10 year old boys are in 4th grade.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for the kid! I can’t imagine my parents going on vacation and leaving me with a very strict, judgmental aunt, who obviously doesn’t like little boys.

Yes, he’s lying. No, it’s not pathological! The fact that you jump to pathology and addiction speaks to your issues, not his. He feels uncomfortable under your supervision. (I would, too.) It sounds like you are a very rigid person who has no empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal behavior. My kids say they are sick all the time to try and get more screen time, but you have to hold fast to the rules! Kids test boundaries at this age, it’s normal and expected. They aren’t monsters, and are probably missing their parents and normal routine as well. Relax on the dramatic language.

Faking a flu-like illness and then faking a sports injury with elaborate lying is normal at age 10?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Normal behavior. My kids say they are sick all the time to try and get more screen time, but you have to hold fast to the rules! Kids test boundaries at this age, it’s normal and expected. They aren’t monsters, and are probably missing their parents and normal routine as well. Relax on the dramatic language.

Faking a flu-like illness and then faking a sports injury with elaborate lying is normal at age 10?

“Elaborate” lying? You mean, saying he is sick?

And yes. It was when I was a kid and it is now. With boys and girls. This is a common problem, not a dramatic one.