How concerning is this for a 10 year old boy? Video game addiction and pathological lying

[Anonymous]

We have teen daughters, so we have never encountered this before. We have been watching our teen niece and 10-year-old nephew this week with my bil and sil on a trip.

Niece has been totally fine. Nephew, who I thought was the sweetest and kindest boy ever, has shown a disturbing side of him. The first day I picked him up from school he complained that he wasn't feeling well. He said he didn't feel like he should go to his sports practice at 5 p.m. We go to our house for a snack before practice and he beelines for our theater room. I catch him in there playing video games. Sick, huh? His parents claim he's only allowed to play 30 minutes total per school day.

I made him turn off the game after 20 or so minutes so we could leave for practice. He was raging mad in the car. Again, he's only 10 years old. After practice he continues with the sick routine in the car to our house.

That night he finishes his homework beelines to play video games again. I can hear the friends (?) he's playing with discussing their vivid strategies to lie to their parents to pretend they're sick or injured so they can stay home and play video games all day!

The next morning he lays it on super thick that he's nauseous and pretends he can't breakfast because eat he's so sick. Lying to my face to coerce me into letting him stay home all day (so he could play video games).

This is extremely concerning behavior, right?

[Anonymous]

And it's not like he's trying to avoid school because he's getting bullied or anything. I see him walking with a lot of friends before and after when I'm picking him up. And he's friends with all of his sports teammates.

It seems video game addiction has turned him into a little monster.

[Anonymous]

If he’s that sick, video games might be too strenuous. He should lie down in a quiet room and rest so he can get better. Maybe he should see a doctor.

[Anonymous]

^Also, if he’s nauseous, canned chicken soup is probably best while everyone else has pizza, tacos, etc. Obviously, desserts are a bad idea for someone who feels nauseous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s that sick, video games might be too strenuous. He should lie down in a quiet room and rest so he can get better. Maybe he should see a doctor.

Yup, we don't do TV or video games when sick, they can rest in their room or read a book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s that sick, video games might be too strenuous. He should lie down in a quiet room and rest so he can get better. Maybe he should see a doctor.

+1 that's what I usually say to the kids.

No electronics; it may make you more nauseous.

Your nephew is addicted. While my DS never lied about being sick, he did get angry a lot after playing video games and when we told him it was time to stop. We realized he was addicted, so we went cold turkey and took the computer chord away so he couldn't power it up. We had a talk with him about addiction and anger caused by playing these games, and he even had to write a research paper about it for a school project when he was in 5th grade. So, he knew the addiction and anger was real and not just something we made up.

He earned back the privileges bit by bit, but as soon as he started getting angry again, we took the computer away. He is now 18, still plays computers, but has learned to not be so angry. But then again, we no longer monitor his computer use so he is not told when to stop playing. He self monitors now and does care about his grades (in college). He just got As on all his midterms.

I think your sibling needs to have a talk with their DS and get this under control.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't characterize it as "extremely concerning" but it is absolutely something that needs to be nipped in the bud by his parents. All you can do is enforce rules while he is in your care and share your concerns with them.

[Anonymous]

This has some good advice. https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/kids-lying-advice/2021/07/26/c13d1986-da9e-11eb-8fb8-aea56b785b00_story.html

I could be wrong, but I don't think this is pathological lying because there's a discernible reason/reward involved . . . getting to play more video games (which, as we suspect, is an addiction at this point).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he’s that sick, video games might be too strenuous. He should lie down in a quiet room and rest so he can get better. Maybe he should see a doctor.

He’s not sick. He’s lying to stay home and play video games. He even claimed his shoulder hurt. His video game friends are coaching him to lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't characterize it as "extremely concerning" but it is absolutely something that needs to be nipped in the bud by his parents. All you can do is enforce rules while he is in your care and share your concerns with them.

Does it tease out he’s playing far more than they claim? I don’t know how you don’t just throw the system in the trash if this is the behavior it’s generating. He was a sweet boy last year.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if it’s that concerning. Sounds to me like maybe his parents are really strict and he’s taking this chance to pull one over on you and get more playing time. He does seem consumed by it but it could be because he doesn’t get to at home. Not saying the behavior is positive.

[Anonymous]

Why are you piling on your nephew, OP? You are being a bully. You're his aunt. He can tell that you do not like him at all. Kids know. Stop being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Boys this age are little shits. My nephews were annoying at this age too. He's trying to test his boundaries with you. No need to judge or slander him. Just be firm

Send him to school and say "if you feel ill at school, tell the nurse and she will let me know if you need to be sent home". As for video games, let him have the 30 minutes and then cut it off. If he tries to sneak or lie to get more play time, then take it away for the remainder of his stay at your house.

Yes they are annoying at this age, but it's pretty easy to enforce the boundaries. The hardest part is trying not to be annoyed with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boys this age are little shits. My nephews were annoying at this age too. He's trying to test his boundaries with you. No need to judge or slander him. Just be firm

Send him to school and say "if you feel ill at school, tell the nurse and she will let me know if you need to be sent home". As for video games, let him have the 30 minutes and then cut it off. If he tries to sneak or lie to get more play time, then take it away for the remainder of his stay at your house.

Yes they are annoying at this age, but it's pretty easy to enforce the boundaries. The hardest part is trying not to be annoyed with them.

You sound awful. My 10 year old is awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he’s that sick, video games might be too strenuous. He should lie down in a quiet room and rest so he can get better. Maybe he should see a doctor.

He’s not sick. He’s lying to stay home and play video games. He even claimed his shoulder hurt. His video game friends are coaching him to lie.

Of course. That's why the PP made the suggestion. To tell him he's too sick/hurt to play video games. That he needs to lie in a quiet room instead. And maybe see a doctor. It’s a quick way to cure a fake illness.