I can't take the abuse anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

That depends on what happens when the police arrive. I've called 911 on my kid before (told them it was a behavioral health crisis, we're trying to get supports, need help de-escalating in the immediate term). The officers who responded were always polite, respectful, spoke with me, my child, my partner, they never took my child from the house because calling 911 got the situation under control.

OP, can you tell us more about your child's diagnoses, meds, etc? My child is ASD/Bipolar and is on Latuda and prozac. Prozac (and all SSRI's) can trigger mania in individuals with bipolar, and it sounds like that might be what you're dealing with (even if its not bipolar), but if you can contact your child's psychiatrist and ask to add a "mood stabilizer" because your child is violent and can't control their moods, that might really help. My child was on several, but Latuda has been a game changer and has worked better than literally everything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

That depends on what happens when the police arrive. I've called 911 on my kid before (told them it was a behavioral health crisis, we're trying to get supports, need help de-escalating in the immediate term). The officers who responded were always polite, respectful, spoke with me, my child, my partner, they never took my child from the house because calling 911 got the situation under control.

OP, can you tell us more about your child's diagnoses, meds, etc? My child is ASD/Bipolar and is on Latuda and prozac. Prozac (and all SSRI's) can trigger mania in individuals with bipolar, and it sounds like that might be what you're dealing with (even if its not bipolar), but if you can contact your child's psychiatrist and ask to add a "mood stabilizer" because your child is violent and can't control their moods, that might really help. My child was on several, but Latuda has been a game changer and has worked better than literally everything else.

Can NDRIs trigger mania?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

That depends on what happens when the police arrive. I've called 911 on my kid before (told them it was a behavioral health crisis, we're trying to get supports, need help de-escalating in the immediate term). The officers who responded were always polite, respectful, spoke with me, my child, my partner, they never took my child from the house because calling 911 got the situation under control.

OP, can you tell us more about your child's diagnoses, meds, etc? My child is ASD/Bipolar and is on Latuda and prozac. Prozac (and all SSRI's) can trigger mania in individuals with bipolar, and it sounds like that might be what you're dealing with (even if its not bipolar), but if you can contact your child's psychiatrist and ask to add a "mood stabilizer" because your child is violent and can't control their moods, that might really help. My child was on several, but Latuda has been a game changer and has worked better than literally everything else.

I don't understand. What are the police doing when they get there? If all your child needed with someone talking to them to calm them down, then why did the police need to be there?

Are they a fee rent-a-stranger there your kid responds to? If so, we need a county program that sends out social workers to talk to agitated teens

[Anonymous]

Are there medications that cause muscle atrophy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers are big and strong. Get outside help, and perhaps a residential program.

A residential program is a good idea. You need a break, OP. And this kid needs a more structured environment.

[Anonymous]

police may not be an option. i would never call the police knowing that my child may be perceived as a threat. however, mobile crisis response teams can help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers are big and strong. Get outside help, and perhaps a residential program.

A residential program is a good idea. You need a break, OP. And this kid needs a more structured environment.

There are residential programs that are covered by insurance. (They may have a waitlist.) Call your insurance and see if you can get a mental health case manager to help you identify options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers are big and strong. Get outside help, and perhaps a residential program.

A residential program is a good idea. You need a break, OP. And this kid needs a more structured environment.

There are residential programs that are covered by insurance. (They may have a waitlist.) Call your insurance and see if you can get a mental health case manager to help you identify options.

As a mom of a violent kid I can tell you that very few residential programs take violent kids. It’s tough to find one and those that do tend to serve the juvenile justice system as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

That depends on what happens when the police arrive. I've called 911 on my kid before (told them it was a behavioral health crisis, we're trying to get supports, need help de-escalating in the immediate term). The officers who responded were always polite, respectful, spoke with me, my child, my partner, they never took my child from the house because calling 911 got the situation under control.

OP, can you tell us more about your child's diagnoses, meds, etc? My child is ASD/Bipolar and is on Latuda and prozac. Prozac (and all SSRI's) can trigger mania in individuals with bipolar, and it sounds like that might be what you're dealing with (even if its not bipolar), but if you can contact your child's psychiatrist and ask to add a "mood stabilizer" because your child is violent and can't control their moods, that might really help. My child was on several, but Latuda has been a game changer and has worked better than literally everything else.

I don't understand. What are the police doing when they get there? If all your child needed with someone talking to them to calm them down, then why did the police need to be there?

Are they a fee rent-a-stranger there your kid responds to? If so, we need a county program that sends out social workers to talk to agitated teens

DP. The police are trained in deescalation techniques and those that have been to my house have been excellent. They have removed my child on occasion and taken them to the hospital. Had I not agreed to the hospital they would have taken them to to wherever juvenile offenders get taken. Either way it involves handcuffs which isnt pleasant but there really aren’t options when there is violence involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

That depends on what happens when the police arrive. I've called 911 on my kid before (told them it was a behavioral health crisis, we're trying to get supports, need help de-escalating in the immediate term). The officers who responded were always polite, respectful, spoke with me, my child, my partner, they never took my child from the house because calling 911 got the situation under control.

OP, can you tell us more about your child's diagnoses, meds, etc? My child is ASD/Bipolar and is on Latuda and prozac. Prozac (and all SSRI's) can trigger mania in individuals with bipolar, and it sounds like that might be what you're dealing with (even if its not bipolar), but if you can contact your child's psychiatrist and ask to add a "mood stabilizer" because your child is violent and can't control their moods, that might really help. My child was on several, but Latuda has been a game changer and has worked better than literally everything else.

I don't understand. What are the police doing when they get there? If all your child needed with someone talking to them to calm them down, then why did the police need to be there?

Are they a fee rent-a-stranger there your kid responds to? If so, we need a county program that sends out social workers to talk to agitated teens

Well, at a minimum it’s an armed adult that the kid knows he can’t hit.

If the kid is at the point where they’re pushing mom around, maybe an armed adult man is psychologically what they need to see to stop the behavior?

Lots of men who beat their wives and children don’t pick fights with other men.

[Anonymous]

Op, I encourage you to reach out to your local NAMI office. They may be able to tell you if/how mobile crisis teams operate in your jurisdiction and what other resources are available.

I also think the NAMI Basics class and NAMI support groups are great.

What kinds of things trigger aggression? Do you have your own therapist working through this with you on how to approach this.

HS was a time when my ADHD kid became more aggressive (although not to the degree you describe) It was a scary and sad time.

Counterintuitively, I shifted my parenting approach to become less authoritarian and explicitly acknowledging that DC controlled many things - like going to school or taking medicine - but that also meant I couldn't protect him from the consequences. If he didn't want to go to school, I couldn't protect him from not graduating or not being able to find a job that would allow him to live independently. I really kept my focus on the minimum to be safe and graduate and get to the next step. I also kept saying "I love you" and making attempts to connect, much of which was rejected for several years. I honestly almost started crying the first time he said I love you to me after several years.

Medication was a key part. For DC, Zoloft really helped, but what will help your DC really depends on diagnosis.

Getting DC a therapist helped also.

[Anonymous]

If you are in Moco, call the MC Crisis Center. They have therapists that will come to your home, and will bring police if there is the potential for violence. They are wonderful!

[Anonymous]

If you are in Fairfax County, they have in an in-home crisis program. A therapist comes to your house for some intensive work. We still needed more—we involuntary committed after we’d gotten a serious threat on the phone—but we thought the Ffx program was very good and helpful.

[Anonymous]

Hugs to you, OP. This sounds so hard and all I can offer is good vibes.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. We have been there too. I’m reading these responses and getting upset because we have tried them all, with limited success.

If you are in immediate physical danger you have to call the police. You can’t end up dead and that would be worse for your kid. Remember that.

We have called the Fairfax crisis line, mobile crisis line and police several times. The only ones who have ever come are the police. Some have been good at de escalating for the evening. Others have made it worse. All will take your kid away in handcuffs, either take them to for a mental health evaluation where they won’t be admitted, or take to processing for an assault charge and then now all of you are in the court system. We have been through all of that. Our son is calmer now but I think it’s because he’s older and also doesn’t want to violate probation since he’s in “the system”. He has an outside therapist who he goes to to comply with court. I don’t think it’s that helpful other than that.

If you are in danger you must call the police though. Or get in your car and leave.