I can't take the abuse anymore

[Anonymous]

DC is in high school and verbally screams at me all day long starting from when they wake up. They call me the r word, tell me to f off and tell me how fat and ugly I am over and over again. They break walls, slam doors, and throw and break lamps, other furniture and household objects. They are larger than me and if I try to take anything away physically like the computer, which is needed for schoolwork, they shove me to the ground. Child is medicated and has all kinds of outside therapy but it does not seem to be helping. No other spouse in the picture so no breaks. No family nearby.

How do people live like this? How do you deal with it when a child you have sacrificed everything is an angry person who blames you for everything? What's gone wrong? DC has had a stable MC home albeit with a single parent.

[Anonymous]

You need in home therapy like yesterday.

[Anonymous]

When things got to this point for us, we had to enroll our child in a residential program that offered full day DBT individual and group therapy with family therapy on the weekends. It was an incredibly tough decision but we were at a breaking point.

[Anonymous]

Teenagers are big and strong. Get outside help, and perhaps a residential program.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry. I don't have advice, but I wish I could give you a break somehow.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t afford the residential option and feel threatened, call the police next time you feel threatened. They might be able to get juvenile justice involved. This has happened to my friend. They were able to get a lot of additional supports for free including a social worker that came into the home for several months. For many years it seemed pretty hopeless but her teen seems to have finally turned the corner.

[Anonymous]

I’d be scared do call the police, I mean would the kid go to jail and for how long?

[Anonymous]

Which county are you in? If you are in Virginia, reach out to your county’ community service board. They can help in both crisis and non-crisis situations.

[Anonymous]

Is your teens doctor aware of this behavior? They need to offer solutions such as therapy and/or medications.

[Anonymous]

^if they are already on medication doctor needs to switch the med or the dose if they aren’t working.

[Anonymous]

For violence I always called the police in the moment. We were able to pay for residential and put our kid in a hard core program. But if I couldn’t have afforded it I would have used the juvenile justice system.

It only gets harder after age 18. I love my kid but i no longer feel obligated to support and care for them. Ironically getting to that point and putting my kid out was what turned the corner.

[Anonymous]

My son once tried to choke me when he was angry. He was about 15. I told him if he ever tried that again I would call the police.

He never did it again. Any other person is going to call the cops if he hits or shoves them. You aren't doing him favors be not laying down the law here.

[Anonymous]

OP, when was last time meds were adjusted? You need to flag all of it in detail to the prescribing dr. A good pediatric psychiatrist would adjust the meds or change them until behaviors are under control. What you describe is unsafe and both you and your child are suffering, get him to a dr who can deal with meds better.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry this is happening. Hugs OP.

[Anonymous]

What is the diagnosis? Is he on antipsychotics?