Tinsley Mortimer getting married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

My mom's mother died of cancer when she was six. By the time she was eight my grandpa had married a new woman. They stayed happily married until his second wife (my grandma) died suddenly.

I don't think anyone is saying it can't work out, but it often doesn't when it's this fast. Not to mention, I don't know what your mother's experience was, but the children in my life whose parents remarried quickly after the death of the other parent were not happy about it/resented the stepparent and the existing parent for "replacing them" so quickly and went on to have a host of issues related to it.

It really depends on how the stepparent handles things. Insisting all pics of the real mom be put away? Not a good move. Embracing the importance of her existence? Great move. Handled delicately, it can work out. Let's hope for the kids' sake, and Tinsley's sake, this does. The twin girls look pretty young, so they may not really remember their mom very much. https://realityblurb.com/2023/10/17/photo-tinsley-mortimers-fiance-is-identified-as-robert-bovard-read-all-about-the-rhony-alums-beau-and-details-of-their-upcoming-wedding/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

My mom's mother died of cancer when she was six. By the time she was eight my grandpa had married a new woman. They stayed happily married until his second wife (my grandma) died suddenly.

I don't think anyone is saying it can't work out, but it often doesn't when it's this fast. Not to mention, I don't know what your mother's experience was, but the children in my life whose parents remarried quickly after the death of the other parent were not happy about it/resented the stepparent and the existing parent for "replacing them" so quickly and went on to have a host of issues related to it.

It really depends on how the stepparent handles things. Insisting all pics of the real mom be put away? Not a good move. Embracing the importance of her existence? Great move. Handled delicately, it can work out. Let's hope for the kids' sake, and Tinsley's sake, this does. The twin girls look pretty young, so they may not really remember their mom very much. https://realityblurb.com/2023/10/17/photo-tinsley-mortimers-fiance-is-identified-as-robert-bovard-read-all-about-the-rhony-alums-beau-and-details-of-their-upcoming-wedding/

Yes. The kids are really young. The son (older) is 9. He was 7 when his mom died. Obviously he'll have memories, but he's young enough that most likely if Tinsley treats him well that will be enough. The twins probably have few real memories of their mom at all, sadly. Especially from before she was very ill.

[Anonymous]

He kinda reminds me of Jenna Bush’s husband.

She seems sweet and I hope they have a long and happy marriage. Agree with PP that he may have grieved his first wife even during her illness as some brain tumors are known to have no survivability.

[Anonymous]

Some people on tv, you can just tell they have a good heart. I'm really happy for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

My mom's mother died of cancer when she was six. By the time she was eight my grandpa had married a new woman. They stayed happily married until his second wife (my grandma) died suddenly.

I don't think anyone is saying it can't work out, but it often doesn't when it's this fast. Not to mention, I don't know what your mother's experience was, but the children in my life whose parents remarried quickly after the death of the other parent were not happy about it/resented the stepparent and the existing parent for "replacing them" so quickly and went on to have a host of issues related to it.

Is two years really that fast?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

My mom's mother died of cancer when she was six. By the time she was eight my grandpa had married a new woman. They stayed happily married until his second wife (my grandma) died suddenly.

I don't think anyone is saying it can't work out, but it often doesn't when it's this fast. Not to mention, I don't know what your mother's experience was, but the children in my life whose parents remarried quickly after the death of the other parent were not happy about it/resented the stepparent and the existing parent for "replacing them" so quickly and went on to have a host of issues related to it.

Is two years really that fast?

When I did grief counselling, they recommended not making any big changes for the first year. Starting to date, especially with kids, counts as a big change. Then think about how long it takes to date to decide you know someone well enough to marry, then introducing them to the kids, then getting engaged, then planning a wedding. I think two years is VERY fast. I know people who didn't date for a year after their divorce because they were focused on themselves and their kids and therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

We don’t know if she died suddenly or if she was sick. If the latter, oftentimes one has already grieved the person.

She died of a brain tumor in June 2021. She & Robert lived in DC for a bit post-college.

If diagnosed in her 30s, that usually means a few years of life expectancy and multiple rounds of treatment. Good friend of mine got 7 years with glioblastoma, died by 40. Her wife had been grieving for 5+ years by the time my friend passed away.

So yeah, very likely this guy grieved for his wife waaaaaaaaay before she passed. Wife probably had communicated explicit instructions and thoughts about getting remarried.

It's better for the kids to get a step-mom while they are still very young, assuming the step-mom is a good + patient person who is respectful of the family dynamics and wants to take an active role in raising the children.

[Anonymous]

Men re-marry quickly. This isn't even that crazy fast. They have many resources. We don't know them, but all indications are good. They are not Britney and K-Fed or something. Please stop with the hysterical "Wont' someone PLEASE think of the children!?" It's so dumb. Just stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I've read a little more about the fiance and I hate that I have some reservations.

His wife only died in summer 2021. It's now fall 2023 and they're getting married? How long did he wait after his wife passed before he started dating? 6 months if that? And based on timing I'm guessing Tinsley is the first person he dated, and now they're getting married? And there's 3 kids involved that lost their mom? This doesn't seem like it's necessarily a recipe for success. Which is too bad, because I really was happy for Tinsley, and obviously these kids have lost enough already.

My mom's mother died of cancer when she was six. By the time she was eight my grandpa had married a new woman. They stayed happily married until his second wife (my grandma) died suddenly.

I don't think anyone is saying it can't work out, but it often doesn't when it's this fast. Not to mention, I don't know what your mother's experience was, but the children in my life whose parents remarried quickly after the death of the other parent were not happy about it/resented the stepparent and the existing parent for "replacing them" so quickly and went on to have a host of issues related to it.

Is two years really that fast?

When I did grief counselling, they recommended not making any big changes for the first year. Starting to date, especially with kids, counts as a big change. Then think about how long it takes to date to decide you know someone well enough to marry, then introducing them to the kids, then getting engaged, then planning a wedding. I think two years is VERY fast. I know people who didn't date for a year after their divorce because they were focused on themselves and their kids and therapy.

I mean, I know people who haven't dated for two decades after their partner passed.

But I don't think two years is an insanely fast amount of time after a spouse dies of a long disease. I guess for some people it would be, but I think that sounds pretty reasonable, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely just fell into this rabbit hole.

If you are Southern, you'll understand these two. Both are that crusty upper of Southern, Episcopalian, three or four generations deep and with the cool names to prove it. Though I'm surprised by the 8-year age difference.

Tinsley seems to me like a slightly more fashionable, media-hungry version of the rich, blond Southern mom/wife that exists in abundance in Atlanta, Charlotte, Richmond, etc. Husbands are always brunette, in some kind of family business, and ignore them.

They are both chasing the marriages they were hoping to get with Mr. Mortimer and #1 Mrs. Bovard.

This seems like an attempt at round two, with three convenient blond children wrapped up in the package that Tinsely didn't have to wreck her body to create. Easy peasy.

I'm not from the south, but your explanation makes a lot of sense, actually. And, at points, it made me chuckle. So thanks for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men re-marry quickly. This isn't even that crazy fast. They have many resources. We don't know them, but all indications are good. They are not Britney and K-Fed or something. Please stop with the hysterical "Wont' someone PLEASE think of the children!?" It's so dumb. Just stop.

Uh, the most hysterical post in the thread so far is yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men re-marry quickly. This isn't even that crazy fast. They have many resources. We don't know them, but all indications are good. They are not Britney and K-Fed or something. Please stop with the hysterical "Wont' someone PLEASE think of the children!?" It's so dumb. Just stop.

Uh, the most hysterical post in the thread so far is yours.

No, it's not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely just fell into this rabbit hole.

If you are Southern, you'll understand these two. Both are that crusty upper of Southern, Episcopalian, three or four generations deep and with the cool names to prove it. Though I'm surprised by the 8-year age difference.

Tinsley seems to me like a slightly more fashionable, media-hungry version of the rich, blond Southern mom/wife that exists in abundance in Atlanta, Charlotte, Richmond, etc. Husbands are always brunette, in some kind of family business, and ignore them.

They are both chasing the marriages they were hoping to get with Mr. Mortimer and #1 Mrs. Bovard.

This seems like an attempt at round two, with three convenient blond children wrapped up in the package that Tinsely didn't have to wreck her body to create. Easy peasy.

I'm not. He probably wants no more kids. In fact, I bet his dying wife made him promise to not shack up with some 30 year-old Southern WASP who would want to pop out 3 babies (all while ignoring his kids).

Totally makes sense to go with an older woman who (1) comes from the same cultural background and probably know the same people, (2) has a bit of her own money, and (3) is likely beyond her own fertility window and doesn't have kids of her own to complicate the situation. IIRC Tinsley really loves kids and really wanted a family of her own. This is a great compromise for her.

If he was dating someone in her early 40s or younger, there would probably be A LOT of pressure to have a new baby. I think he's making a really smart move.

[Anonymous]

When the woman is 8 years older, it won’t last. When this guy is 45, Tinsley will be 53 and probably going through menopause. He will have an affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s the new guys name

Robert Bovard. Hopefully a nice guy but I'm surprised at this match as he doesn't seem to have as much money as Tinsley would be after...

If that ring is $500k as the tabloids are claiming, it wasn't purchased by the president of Augusta Iron & Steel Works