MIL literally forgot grandchild's birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL often remembered at last moment when it was too late to send card or gifts overseas so my DH used to buy gifts and give to our kids from her to foster a good relationship between them.

Was your FIL still alive? If so, why just “MIL remembered last moment” and not “MIL and FIL remembered last moment”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom has forgotten my birthday three years in a row and I see her every week. Don’t create problems where there aren’t problems.

If your dad is alive, does he remember your birthday?

[Anonymous]

My own parents once forgot MY birthday when I was a teen living at home with them… it was no big deal then, and it’s funny to remind them of it now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I barely remember my own birthday at this point.

+ 1!

My dad has forgotten my birthday. I have forgotten my anniversary. This isn't a big deal unless you make it one. We all still love one another.

[Anonymous]

I never understand this obsession with birthdays. Who cares.
But is it possible that older adults might simply forget as a function of age? My mother actually is a birthday person and sent a card to my children every single year but she is starting to lose it mentally. And so the cards are not as regular or are late. And nobody assumes that she somehow doesn’t love us.

[Anonymous]

Seriously? You may have an excellent memory, but most of us don't. I can absolutely see myself forgetting birthdays when I'm older. It won't mean I don't love my friends and relatives. And I am not offended when my MIL and other relatives do not remember my children's birthdays. They've had long and busy lives, they've looked after their families for decades, and now they're not with it so much. It's FINE.

[Anonymous]

My mom forgets my birthday every year. It’s a running joke. We are very close.

[Anonymous]

This seems like not at all a big deal to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simmer down, Gladys.
Your daughter isn't upset. So stop creating a problem where there is none.

This!!

[Anonymous]

I don’t think my grandparents ever called me on my birthday.

[Anonymous]

Imagine how perfect OP's life must be that this is something she's upset about. No one's lost their jobs, had cancer, died or anything! Wow. Wonder how that must feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are admittedly not big birthday people, but we always make a point of calling MIL and FIL on their birthdays and wishing them a happy birthday.

This year, they literally forgot their grandchild's birthday. She's a teen. They live out of state, but the part of this that makes me so sad is that DD didn't even seem to notice that they forgot it. She focused on the cards that she got from her other family out of state that she visited this summer.

I have come to accept that ILs don't have much of an interest in our children, but this is really hurtful. We did visit them this summer and spent the whole visit giving them support and help. They barely even acknowledged that our kids were there while doting on DH's brother's kids.

I don't understand why anyone would do this, and it always hurts, even though I'm not surprised and have accepted that they are how they are.

Your teen is more mature than you

[Anonymous]

Your teen is not upset. You should not make waves where the waters are actually still.

[Anonymous]

You clearly are a "big birthday person" if this bothers you. Your kid doesn't care and it's her daggone birthday. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Oh good lord, it is not a big deal. People forget birthdays all the time. My own parents have forgotten mine on several occasions. YOU remembered her birthday, she doesn’t need a call from every relative.