MIL literally forgot grandchild's birthday
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Anonymous
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We are admittedly not big birthday people, but we always make a point of calling MIL and FIL on their birthdays and wishing them a happy birthday.
This year, they literally forgot their grandchild's birthday. She's a teen. They live out of state, but the part of this that makes me so sad is that DD didn't even seem to notice that they forgot it. She focused on the cards that she got from her other family out of state that she visited this summer. I have come to accept that ILs don't have much of an interest in our children, but this is really hurtful. We did visit them this summer and spent the whole visit giving them support and help. They barely even acknowledged that our kids were there while doting on DH's brother's kids. I don't understand why anyone would do this, and it always hurts, even though I'm not surprised and have accepted that they are how they are. |
Anonymous
| My mom lives close by and rarely remembers our birthdays. She remembers everyone else's. I gave up. My mom dotes on her boyfriend's kids and rarely sees mine. Now that they are teens they see how she is and don't care. |
Anonymous
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Could be an honest mistake — have you never forgotten an important birthday before??
Anyway, we talk to our parents frequently enough about what we are doing day to day that this would be unlikely since we’d mention birthday plans. If you don’t have that kind of relationship, you need to give them at least a one-time pass. |
Anonymous
| My parents play favorites with grandchildren too. At this point, I just think it’s sad for them that they aren’t close to my kids. Fortunately my kids get plenty of love and support elsewhere, so I’ve mostly been able to let it go. |
Anonymous
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My grandparents often forgot my birthday as they aged. It didn't bother me at all, sounds like the same for your DD.
Sounds more like it bugs you, especially given they seem to prefer your BIL's kids? Understandable but I'd let this one go. |
Anonymous
| One day you’ll forget something too. |
Anonymous
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Simmer down, Gladys.
Your daughter isn't upset. So stop creating a problem where there is none. |
Anonymous
My mom used to call my MIL to remind her it was HER SON's birthday. That is so hard for me to wrap my head around because how do you forget the day you gave birth? So I guess with some people it really isn't a thing. If they don't have a reminder on their calendar, it's just another day |
Anonymous
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Wow-- I'm terrible about keeping track of birthdays and calendar dates.
It has nothing to do with how much I care about your children. None at all. |
Anonymous
| I barely remember my own birthday at this point. |
Anonymous
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Why is your subject line “MIL literally forgot grandchild’s birthday” when FIL is apparently still alive and of sound mind and body? Hmm?
Yeah yeah, you mention him in the original post, but you clearly lay most of the blame at HER feet. After all, she has a vagina, and family birthdays are women’s work in your eyes, eh, OP? |
Anonymous
| My MIL often remembered at last moment when it was too late to send card or gifts overseas so my DH used to buy gifts and give to our kids from her to foster a good relationship between them. |
Anonymous
| My mom has forgotten my birthday three years in a row and I see her every week. Don’t create problems where there aren’t problems. |
Anonymous
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What are you, 8 years old?
Who cares? Birthdays are for children. And even if you or MIL generally cares at some level about a rote, checklist telephone call every year, people forget. Spouse and I have both at various points forgotten the other’s birthday and/or our anniversary. We still love each other and have a great life. It’s really not a big deal. |
Anonymous
| Call them to remind. |