If your child gets invited to a bar mitzvah, do parents attend?

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing you aren't Jewish? If the ceremony is part of the regular service it can be quite long. If you post the temple people can probably give you a sense of that. One of my cousins kids was bar mitzvah'ed at a conservative temple and the service was 3 hours, others I've been to were shorter. When the service was specifically for the bar mitzvah those were more like an hour, and usually in the afternoon r ather than morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12yo was invited to a bar mitzvah. There is a ceremony in the morning and a reception in the evening.

Is it appropriate for an adult to attend the ceremony with child?

I’m assuming I should drop off my child for the evening party and not stay.

I plan to give a $108 gift.

No.

Invite would say or you would know if you’re a family friend versus your kids are mainly friends from school or around

[Anonymous]

There's no reason for you to go. You're allowed to go, but your kid probably doesn't want you there, and the host parents aren't looking for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you aren't Jewish? If the ceremony is part of the regular service it can be quite long. If you post the temple people can probably give you a sense of that. One of my cousins kids was bar mitzvah'ed at a conservative temple and the service was 3 hours, others I've been to were shorter. When the service was specifically for the bar mitzvah those were more like an hour, and usually in the afternoon r ather than morning.

I am not Jewish. I don’t want to go. Ceremony is at a large temple and I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable just dropping my son off.

DS wants to attend the ceremony.

[Anonymous]

We have been invited but the ceremony is 3 hours long. I don’t think my children can sit just long. Should our family just decline? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you aren't Jewish? If the ceremony is part of the regular service it can be quite long. If you post the temple people can probably give you a sense of that. One of my cousins kids was bar mitzvah'ed at a conservative temple and the service was 3 hours, others I've been to were shorter. When the service was specifically for the bar mitzvah those were more like an hour, and usually in the afternoon r ather than morning.

I am not Jewish. I don’t want to go. Ceremony is at a large temple and I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable just dropping my son off. DS wants to attend the ceremony.

I'm Jewish and have never felt more safe and cared for than when at a temple or a JCC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited but the ceremony is 3 hours long. I don’t think my children can sit just long. Should our family just decline? Thanks.

If your children have friends old enough to be bar/bat mitzvah'd then your kids are old enough to sit for three hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing you aren't Jewish? If the ceremony is part of the regular service it can be quite long. If you post the temple people can probably give you a sense of that. One of my cousins kids was bar mitzvah'ed at a conservative temple and the service was 3 hours, others I've been to were shorter. When the service was specifically for the bar mitzvah those were more like an hour, and usually in the afternoon r ather than morning.

I am not Jewish. I don’t want to go. Ceremony is at a large temple and I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable just dropping my son off.

DS wants to attend the ceremony.

Then don’t go.

I think the answer you are looking for is, NO. Parents do not attend when their kids are invited to a Bar Mitzvah.

I drop off, kid gets out of the car, sees friends and rushes off. There is often transportation/party bus to the reception after, OR parents pick up when ceremony is over and drive the kid to the party. Some kids skip the ceremony altogether and just attend the party. Either way, you stay home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited but the ceremony is 3 hours long. I don’t think my children can sit just long. Should our family just decline? Thanks.

If your children have friends old enough to be bar/bat mitzvah'd then your kids are old enough to sit for three hours.

No that’s not true at all. Jewish kids are probably used to sitting in services that long as they grew up with it. Other kids could have ADHD, ASD, or anything else that might make sitting 3 hours impossible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited but the ceremony is 3 hours long. I don’t think my children can sit just long. Should our family just decline? Thanks.

If your children have friends old enough to be bar/bat mitzvah'd then your kids are old enough to sit for three hours.

No that’s not true at all. Jewish kids are probably used to sitting in services that long as they grew up with it. Other kids could have ADHD, ASD, or anything else that might make sitting 3 hours impossible.

Some Jewish kids have ADHD and ASD and lots of things that make sitting for 3 hours difficult.

[Anonymous]

We’re not Jewish. Our kids have been invited to a million of these over the years, and we were never included and it never occurred to us that we were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re not Jewish. Our kids have been invited to a million of these over the years, and we were never included and it never occurred to us that we were.

Exactly. Not Jewish. Grew up in DC and went to a zillion of these and my parents did not attend. My children go and I do not attend. I never contemplated that I was invited. These are school buddies, not family friends, and my name is not on the invitation. My children would be mortified if I invited myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have been invited but the ceremony is 3 hours long. I don’t think my children can sit just long. Should our family just decline? Thanks.

If your children have friends old enough to be bar/bat mitzvah'd then your kids are old enough to sit for three hours.

Are you sure it’s 3 hours? If it’s a reform service, it will not be. Ours are less than 2 hours and that’s doing 2 kids at once.

[Anonymous]

If it is a conservative service your kid can likely come at least 30 minutes late (many members of the temple will roll in late as well).

[Anonymous]

My son just got an invitation and it was only addressed to him, so like anything else I assume it is just for him.