Say something or let it go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go.

This is OP, sorry I wasn’t clear: the event took place over the weekend (Sunday). We weren’t interested in going without them - it was interesting in the context of going with a group, if that makes sense. Not something we would normally do on our own.

That's sad. As in makes you look like a saddo needy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go.

This is OP, sorry I wasn’t clear: the event took place over the weekend (Sunday). We weren’t interested in going without them - it was interesting in the context of going with a group, if that makes sense. Not something we would normally do on our own.

That's sad. As in makes you look like a saddo needy person.

No it doesn't.

You seem to be really reaching here. Bad day at work?

-NP

[Anonymous]

Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should go.

This is OP, sorry I wasn’t clear: the event took place over the weekend (Sunday). We weren’t interested in going without them - it was interesting in the context of going with a group, if that makes sense. Not something we would normally do on our own.

That's sad. As in makes you look like a saddo needy person.

OP, your flaky friend is here!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

At least you’re not out the money for her tickets. Treat this as a learning moment.

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed with the friend but I maybe would have gone anyhow (you should share more details about what the event was).

but there's no way you should get a refund from your credit card company. You chose not to go.

[Anonymous]

Don't say anything, remain friends but never count on her for anything. This sounds like a common personality flaw that she is not even aware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

At least you’re not out the money for her tickets. Treat this as a learning moment.

Who would let themselves be out the money for her tickets? I'd calmly tell her that they cost $X and she can give me cash or Venmo. Remind as necessary.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you’re annoyed with yourself because you didn’t really want to go in the first place and bought the tickets thinking your friend and her hubby would make it fun for you. What was the event that you needed a group to enjoy??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

Did she know you were only going because you thought they were going? Usually people coordinate buying tickets. If she didn’t know, you have no reason to be upset. If she did know, then you should have told her you were disappointed they had changed your plans when she told you they weren’t going. From your description, I’m not sure she considered it a plan with you, instead of an event you both might attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

Did she know you were only going because you thought they were going? Usually people coordinate buying tickets. If she didn’t know, you have no reason to be upset. If she did know, then you should have told her you were disappointed they had changed your plans when she told you they weren’t going. From your description, I’m not sure she considered it a plan with you, instead of an event you both might attend.

No, she definitely talked about it as a plan we were creating together. Hence why she asked - more than once - and why we nailed down a day together.

As I said, I even brought it up earlier last week to confirm we were on, and she said we were. It wasn’t until Friday that she said her husband had found this other thing to do and that they “should” be able to make it (even though the event is several states away). It became clear there was no way they would make it.

I bought the tickets as part of our jointly decided upon plan to attend the event. As mentioned, I would not elect to do the event just my husband and myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you’re annoyed with yourself because you didn’t really want to go in the first place and bought the tickets thinking your friend and her hubby would make it fun for you. What was the event that you needed a group to enjoy??

No, I’m annoyed with my friend for talking this up and suggesting we all go together. You’re right, I was planning on friend and her family to attend because that’s what we’d agreed upon. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there that do things outside of their normal wheelhouse as a means to spend time with others.

[Anonymous]

If it’s not something you would normally do alone then you should have said no on the first place.
I think your friend is flaky and I wouldn’t do something with her again like this. But you don’t deserve to get your money back for an error in judgment, it’s part of adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you buy tickets for you and your husband or also her and her husband. If you didn’t buy her tickets I would only be mad if she knew that you were buying tickets only because they were also buying tickets. Otherwise, she might not have realized that your plan was dependent on them going.

For example, if we are going to a movie with friends and the friends can’t make it, it doesn’t matter because we will still enjoy the movie.

This is OP and we only bought tickets for ourselves. I did mention to my friend that we wouldn’t be going when I realized they wouldn’t be going - as I mentioned, this is not an activity my husband and I would have attended/bought tickets for on our own. We were interested in going with them as a group, but this event is outside of our normal scope of interests.

At least you’re not out the money for her tickets. Treat this as a learning moment.

Who would let themselves be out the money for her tickets? I'd calmly tell her that they cost $X and she can give me cash or Venmo. Remind as necessary.

OP didn't buy tickets for her friend; OP only bought tickets for OP and OP's husband.

Maryland Renaissance Festival is fun even as a couple.