how did your teens figure out what they wanted to do in college/life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't have to decide their whole lives at this age. It is ok to not know or change your mind 5 times.

But for many college apps, you have to declare and that is a factor in if you are admitted. While sure, you can change, it has consequences. If you change from political science to premed, you will likely add on a least another year plus some heavy summer classes. Same goes for switching and majors that don’t have much course requirement overlap.

[Anonymous]

What is she naturally good at? Meaning what things come to her with more ease than others? Look for fields where those aptitudes play a role. The biggest mistake people make is to chose something they love. You can love something but if you have to do it for hours and hours and you don't have a natural aptitude for it, you'll be easily frustrated and miserable.

So pay attention to her aptitudes or ask her to pay closer attention to herself. She can narrow it down to several professions, which may not even seem similar but employ similar aptitudes.

[Anonymous]

Did I miss how old OP's teen is? I get it if she's submitting college applications now, but otherwise I wouldn't give this another minute's worry.

One of our sons entered college as a chemistry major, and he's now in law enforcement, in a position that has nothing to do with science. Our other son I encouraged to apply undecided because he had no idea when he was 17. He's a college junior now and he's still fine-tuning his major. Our daughter is a junior in high school and has no idea what she wants to major in. Which is fine!

The kids who know what they want their exact path to be at 17/18, and stay on that path, more power to them, they amaze me. I just haven't known many of them.

[Anonymous]

LA is such a valuable degree. Practically and personally. I say this as a hiring professional. LA kids typically will write better. They are in general more inclined to be grounded.

I tell my kids often it's not where you start. Never where you start but how you finish. Life isn't this linear identify something to do and do it forever. You do what you want to do and try to incorporate enjoyment and the ability to do it well. Whatever happens from there even if it takes years to get to a point you feel like is it, that's success. The money always comes when you love something so much you end up doing it so well. I've seen this happen over and over in different fields. You must enjoy it - that's the first rule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: My daughter alternates between wanting to be a TV reporter, a writer, an interior designer/house flipper, an actress, a dance teacher, or a pediatric oncology nurse. How did you get your kids to narrow down their interests? She knows that she wants to go to college, but has no idea what to major in. The only thing she knows for sure right now is that she wants kids and a family (although her desire for a family might change as she gets older.) I know that there are some kids who know exactly what they want to do at a young age, but how did your kids with lots of ideas about what they want to do figure out what to major in? Right now, my DD has been making pro/con lists about each career path-nurses and teachers get burnt out quickly, TV reporters have crazy schedules, etc. She also has dyscalculia so a math-related career path wouldn't be the best fit for her.

Let her go to college, take courses, have internships, talk to advisors, seek out mentors to figure out her career plan. Whole process would help gain new skills and enhance natural strengths.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

That was my parents. I got sh-t grades in the major they forced me to do. I struggled in underpaid jobs for years because of that and then I scraped my way into professional school. I did ok after that but now I’m a SAHM.

I think back to the curve-setting grades I got in classes outside my major and feel so much regret and honestly awe at how naive and ignorant my parents were with that STEM stuff. At my college, excellence in the courses in which I excelled would have set me up for a truly lucrative and interesting future. My parents were too unsophisticated to understand that and it sounds like this PP doesn’t get it, either.

Also, pre-finance? Do you mean “prerequisites at middling schools required for acceptance into undergrad business programs”? It sounds like a major to prepare people to open their own Edward Jones storefront.

This is my husband. He is so STEM-focused and doesn't understand why every kid doesn't want to be an engineer. And now with AI, he's sure everything else is going to be automated, so why bother.

Yet here he is, making $300K in a "soft" major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The best advice is go to a liberal arts college that has a core curriculum and therefore you’re expected to take a variety of courses in different subjects. This is how I found my major - not a lucrative career path for all but one that made me fulfilled and happy and I’ve been a contributing member of society for 20 years.

I told my DS that we would pay for college of his choice, as long as it is not liberal arts .
At this point he has no clue what he wants to do either, except he wants a career that will have enough free time to play video games after work . I am trying to encourage him to try different electives in HS to see if what he thinks he likes (chemistry/biosciences) is actually for him. No real advice for OP, but definitely sharing your concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They don't have to decide their whole lives at this age. It is ok to not know or change your mind 5 times.

But for many college apps, you have to declare and that is a factor in if you are admitted. While sure, you can change, it has consequences. If you change from political science to premed, you will likely add on a least another year plus some heavy summer classes. Same goes for switching and majors that don’t have much course requirement overlap.

IME even schools where you apply by major have some kind of "undecided" option. In particular, I'd look for colleges that provide some kind of structure for the undecided kids to specifically explore options, beyond just taking a variety of classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best advice is go to a liberal arts college that has a core curriculum and therefore you’re expected to take a variety of courses in different subjects. This is how I found my major - not a lucrative career path for all but one that made me fulfilled and happy and I’ve been a contributing member of society for 20 years.

I told my DS that we would pay for college of his choice, as long as it is not liberal arts .
At this point he has no clue what he wants to do either, except he wants a career that will have enough free time to play video games after work . I am trying to encourage him to try different electives in HS to see if what he thinks he likes (chemistry/biosciences) is actually for him. No real advice for OP, but definitely sharing your concern.

At his age the idea of putting in a days work and going home to play video games sounds like heaven. His and millions of other teens dream

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best advice is go to a liberal arts college that has a core curriculum and therefore you’re expected to take a variety of courses in different subjects. This is how I found my major - not a lucrative career path for all but one that made me fulfilled and happy and I’ve been a contributing member of society for 20 years.

I told my DS that we would pay for college of his choice, as long as it is not liberal arts .
At this point he has no clue what he wants to do either, except he wants a career that will have enough free time to play video games after work . I am trying to encourage him to try different electives in HS to see if what he thinks he likes (chemistry/biosciences) is actually for him. No real advice for OP, but definitely sharing your concern.

I think people confuse liberal arts with basket weaving type majors. Do you understand what a liberal arts education means? Based on the black/white thinking I see on DCUM (and elsewhere), I think more of liberal arts not less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best advice is go to a liberal arts college that has a core curriculum and therefore you’re expected to take a variety of courses in different subjects. This is how I found my major - not a lucrative career path for all but one that made me fulfilled and happy and I’ve been a contributing member of society for 20 years.

I told my DS that we would pay for college of his choice, as long as it is not liberal arts .
At this point he has no clue what he wants to do either, except he wants a career that will have enough free time to play video games after work . I am trying to encourage him to try different electives in HS to see if what he thinks he likes (chemistry/biosciences) is actually for him. No real advice for OP, but definitely sharing your concern.

I think people confuse liberal arts with basket weaving type majors. Do you understand what a liberal arts education means? Based on the black/white thinking I see on DCUM (and elsewhere), I think more of liberal arts not less.

Exactly this! I attended a liberal arts institution and guess what my major was? Biochemistry and Biophysics! DH went to a similar school and his major was Econ.

Schools that have a literal “liberal arts” undergraduate major are few and far between and not what people are talking about when they say “liberal arts institution”. I think there’s a misconception that it refers only to a place like St. John’s.

For example, Yale undergraduates of any major are pursuing a liberal arts education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

Because then I might get to have interesting conversations with them when they come visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

You do know there’s a whole world out there that doesn’t include premed, finance and engineering? Plenty of people out there doing great in other chosen fields. I kind of feel bad for your kids and hope they happen to like the life you chose for them.

My daughter always knew dance was what she wanted to do and so did her classmates. She went to the top professional schools including residential schools starting at age 8. Before that it was local schools.

It was a ton of money, six figures, for residential programs, summer residential programs at the top schools and apprenticeship.

There are people born to be artists of all kinds. Musicians, painters, sculptors, singers, dancers. Unless you’re part of this world you probably wouldn’t understand.

My daughter will have no money problems and we paid for everything including her current NYC rent. But she has many friends who make it on their own with no family money. Excellent work ethics who know how to hustle and survive between jobs. I envy them, they are living their lives the way they want to.

NP. My kids also know we will not pay for a degree in the humanities.

[Anonymous]

The big issue is that if you switch your major too many times it will be very hard to graduate in a timely manner.

[Anonymous]

Ugh this again with the pre prof major vs liberal arts?