how did your teens figure out what they wanted to do in college/life?

[Anonymous]

My daughter alternates between wanting to be a TV reporter, a writer, an interior designer/house flipper, an actress, a dance teacher, or a pediatric oncology nurse. How did you get your kids to narrow down their interests? She knows that she wants to go to college, but has no idea what to major in. The only thing she knows for sure right now is that she wants kids and a family (although her desire for a family might change as she gets older.) I know that there are some kids who know exactly what they want to do at a young age, but how did your kids with lots of ideas about what they want to do figure out what to major in? Right now, my DD has been making pro/con lists about each career path-nurses and teachers get burnt out quickly, TV reporters have crazy schedules, etc. She also has dyscalculia so a math-related career path wouldn't be the best fit for her.

[Anonymous]

She doesn't have to know yet. Steer her toward a college with a broad core that lets her study many different areas before declaring a major. There are so many areas high school kids have zero exposure to yet. Perfectly awesome to enter college undeclared.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. I have 11th grade girl/boy twins and they have no idea. they can't even come up with a list of potential careers. I don't remember knowing either at their age but it seems like kids have to decide things so much earlier these days.

[Anonymous]

I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

You do know there’s a whole world out there that doesn’t include premed, finance and engineering? Plenty of people out there doing great in other chosen fields. I kind of feel bad for your kids and hope they happen to like the life you chose for them.

My daughter always knew dance was what she wanted to do and so did her classmates. She went to the top professional schools including residential schools starting at age 8. Before that it was local schools.

It was a ton of money, six figures, for residential programs, summer residential programs at the top schools and apprenticeship.

There are people born to be artists of all kinds. Musicians, painters, sculptors, singers, dancers. Unless you’re part of this world you probably wouldn’t understand.

My daughter will have no money problems and we paid for everything including her current NYC rent. But she has many friends who make it on their own with no family money. Excellent work ethics who know how to hustle and survive between jobs. I envy them, they are living their lives the way they want to.

[Anonymous]

DD wanted to be a lawyer and a vet. She majored in the sciences while working part time for a vet, then went to law school and does a ton of work for vets, shelters and the humane society.

[Anonymous]

They don't have to decide their whole lives at this age. It is ok to not know or change your mind 5 times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

That was my parents. I got sh-t grades in the major they forced me to do. I struggled in underpaid jobs for years because of that and then I scraped my way into professional school. I did ok after that but now I’m a SAHM.

I think back to the curve-setting grades I got in classes outside my major and feel so much regret and honestly awe at how naive and ignorant my parents were with that STEM stuff. At my college, excellence in the courses in which I excelled would have set me up for a truly lucrative and interesting future. My parents were too unsophisticated to understand that and it sounds like this PP doesn’t get it, either.

Also, pre-finance? Do you mean “prerequisites at middling schools required for acceptance into undergrad business programs”? It sounds like a major to prepare people to open their own Edward Jones storefront.

[Anonymous]

I was like this. Changed majors a couple times in college, had very supportive parents and a great counselor who eventually told me to major in my easiest subject so I still had energy for everything else I had going on. Best advice ever. Got a advanced degree. I'm in the arts, make good money and have always made my own way professionally. I wouldn't sweat it, she'll figure it out and she's going to do great no matter where she lands. In the midst of societal pressure of majoring in something that could lead to a career, I had very good parents who just wanted me to be happy and encouraged exploration. I'm sure I worried them here and there though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

That was my parents. I got sh-t grades in the major they forced me to do. I struggled in underpaid jobs for years because of that and then I scraped my way into professional school. I did ok after that but now I’m a SAHM.

I think back to the curve-setting grades I got in classes outside my major and feel so much regret and honestly awe at how naive and ignorant my parents were with that STEM stuff. At my college, excellence in the courses in which I excelled would have set me up for a truly lucrative and interesting future. My parents were too unsophisticated to understand that and it sounds like this PP doesn’t get it, either.

Also, pre-finance? Do you mean “prerequisites at middling schools required for acceptance into undergrad business programs”? It sounds like a major to prepare people to open their own Edward Jones storefront.

I’m sorry you were pressured into a major you weren’t suited for. That happened to a friend. Her family came here from China. Her childhood consisted of preparing for an engineering career. She went to MIT and got a job that she hated. She was so anxious all the time that she ended up having a nervous breakdown and had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

I think when she wrote pre-finance she thought there was such a major to prepare for an MBA. It’s like people who say they major in pre-law when there’s no such major.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

I think one of my kids would be really good at interior design.

You sound like my parents. My siblings and I went to school for those fields and all of us switched later in college. All of us. None of us wanted to be in the medical field, engineers or in finance.

What’s amazing to us is that our parents still tell us how much more we could have made in those fields. They are in their 70s now. Don’t be our parents.

[Anonymous]

Mine don't know, but seem like something with computers. I didn't know what I wanted to do and I still don't know.
I loved counting money, calculating money and knowing prices of everything as a kid.I never knew that working with money(finance was an option growing up. I never worked in finance but having it as a hobby has really paid off.

[Anonymous]

I am what most people would consider a very successful professional, I am fulfilled, and I am not always sure I know what I want to be when I grow up. Age 47.

To the person who will only pay for college if the kid does certain things... god, I feel sorry for the way you measure life and happiness and I hope your kids forgive you and/or aren't too messed up.

[Anonymous]

The best advice is go to a liberal arts college that has a core curriculum and therefore you’re expected to take a variety of courses in different subjects. This is how I found my major - not a lucrative career path for all but one that made me fulfilled and happy and I’ve been a contributing member of society for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I told my kids that I'm not paying for college unless they're pre-med, pre-finance, or in engineering/tech.

Why the hell would you want your kid to be a reporter or a writer or an interior designer or an actress or a dance teacher? That's a TON of work for little pay.

Of course, ignore all of the above if you're so wealthy that your kids will have perpetual financial support. Trust funders need not to pay attention to what I just wrote. But anyone who's not 1%er-level wealthy does.

That’s sad for your kids. I hope they don’t end up resenting you for pushing them into a career that they don’t enjoy.

I have friends who are interior designers who make more than the average engineer and many medical specialties.