Social media rules and practices

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

does he post himself? or only like pictures of scenery? or doesn't post at all?

he posts himself. when he posts things we've done together there is no mention of me. it is like I'm purposefully erased. I acknowledge him on his birthday, anniversary, fathers day....and he ignores the posts and never posts about me. if I post about the kids he ignores, etc. but he is heavily active with others on a daily basis.

It's weird that he only posts himself and that his status is single. That's what would concern me not photo likes and performative posts about love

I personally think it's a great idea not to post kids and let your relationship with your spouse play out online.


Who is he interacting with,,?

Buddy for college he never sees?. Relatives who are far away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

does he post himself? or only like pictures of scenery? or doesn't post at all?

he posts himself. when he posts things we've done together there is no mention of me. it is like I'm purposefully erased. I acknowledge him on his birthday, anniversary, fathers day....and he ignores the posts and never posts about me. if I post about the kids he ignores, etc. but he is heavily active with others on a daily basis.

Sorry OP, but this is pretty sus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

does he post himself? or only like pictures of scenery? or doesn't post at all?

he posts himself. when he posts things we've done together there is no mention of me. it is like I'm purposefully erased. I acknowledge him on his birthday, anniversary, fathers day....and he ignores the posts and never posts about me. if I post about the kids he ignores, etc. but he is heavily active with others on a daily basis.

It's weird that he only posts himself and that his status is single. That's what would concern me not photo likes and performative posts about love

I personally think it's a great idea not to post kids and let your relationship with your spouse play out online.


Who is he interacting with,,?

Buddy for college he never sees?. Relatives who are far away?

He interacts with a broad range of people….family, old friends who live far away, and new friends he’s made online due to similar interests including women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

Sorry OP, but I literally lol’ed outloud at this bc this is how my H is in real life!!
I always joke to him that his coworkers don’t even know he’s married.l, although they do, obviously.

[Anonymous]

I’m so happy I do not have to worry about interacting with my husband over social media.

[Anonymous]

I never post about dhs birthday, etc. I think you are putting too much stock in this personally. SM isn't real life.

[Anonymous]

It's a problem he presents himself as single.

He doesn't need to post pics or like every post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never post about dhs birthday, etc. I think you are putting too much stock in this personally. SM isn't real life.

SM is a part of life for a lot of people now. Her DH is on daily. To me it’s the equivalent of not wearing one’s wedding ring. If you are married, then the public should know. If he for instance posts pics of his latest vacation but crops his wife out, that’s weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We aren’t on social media. You both sound immature.

This. My Dh and i are mid 30s and haven't used social media in years. Your dh sounds extremely immature, and I would agree its sketchy. How does he act with you in public around close family and friends?

[Anonymous]

The Gif of the Magi by O. Henry

The wife posts thirst traps for male attention while the husband ignores the wife to like posts from IG thots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never post about dhs birthday, etc. I think you are putting too much stock in this personally. SM isn't real life.

SM is a part of life for a lot of people now. Her DH is on daily. To me it’s the equivalent of not wearing one’s wedding ring. If you are married, then the public should know. If he for instance posts pics of his latest vacation but crops his wife out, that’s weird.

I don't crop my husband out, but I don't post pics of him on my SM. I do post pics of vacations, dogs, nature, what we're doing, but he isn't in the pics. I'm not "presenting as single", I'm just not plastering his pics or gushing about him/us. Yes, it's a part of life, it isn't real life and people who are consumed by it seem to forget this.

[Anonymous]

How is he behaving op?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be happy with this. Your husband needs to treat you on social media the way he would in public with the awareness that you and he won’t know the mental or emotional state of anybody reading it. My husband and I were at a jewelry store and they had Rolex watches. I’d never seen one up close and I asked if I could try it on for the sole purpose of posting it on Facebook. I did, my husband tagged me and misspelled Rolex so it was hopefully to anybody looking at it that no, he did not indeed buy me a Rolex. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who thought he had. One of them was a close family member who still believes he did even though I explained to her that no, I simply wanted to pose with it.

My husband posted a picture of himself in our driveway in a bathrobe looking just like Tony Soprano. It was awesome. He didn’t tag me in it and he got a female friend asking him out for drinks. My husband told her that his wife and him would be happy to see her, but no, she only wanted to see my husband. Since my husband knew her, he tried to explain that she had a boyfriend, we should go meet up with her, it’d be fine, and it took him awhile to see just how disrespectful she was to me, she knew he was married, he mentioned it to her several times, mentioned I’d be there, and no, I wasn’t welcome on what looked an awful lot like the planning for a date. I saw the messages and comments she was posting and sending, and it hurt. Ever since then, I’ve asked my husband to tag me in anything involving the house, the kids, anything that isn’t say a picture of his sandwich or something he finds funny that he wants to post. Once my husband tagged our former nanny in a picture that she’d taken and sent us and people asked if we were in a throuple or if one of us had a girlfriend. It was weird. Ever since then, we’ve had a rule that if someone takes a picture, the prson that is the same gender as the picture taker posts a thank you in the comments. And no, neither of us was banging the nanny.

Social media is not at all like being in a room with a bunch of people, and it took my husband a long time to see that. What is posted and commented on is there forever. Normally that’s nothing to worry about… until it is. I’ve also seen posts from married people that don’t mention their spouses and then I hear they are getting divorced. It sometimes seems to me that those posts are trial balloons, they want to see what happens if they post and don’t mention the spouse before they decide to get divorced.

I would talk to your husband. I’d explain that it hurts you and it needs to stop. To those who say it isn’t a big deal, it isn’t.. until it happens to you.