Social media rules and practices

[Anonymous]

DH and are constantly at odds over social media. I believe he does not behave in a way a married man should in social media. I was wondering if others could share how social media works in your marriage? Do you have rules you abide by? Or just general practices that are good to follow when married?

[Anonymous]

Without knowing more details, I'd just say that this seems to be a symptom of other issues in your marriage, rather than the issue itself. Because if you had healthy communication, respect, etc., then you could just say, "Hey, it bothered me when you posted that picture because X, Y, Z" and your spouse would listen and try to address your concerns.

[Anonymous]

How old are you? This is such a strange question to me, but maybe we are of different generations.

Dh and I use social media to loosely stay connected to family and friends, post an occasional family picture, we're in a couple local groups for our neighborhood and our kids' school to stay in the know.

[Anonymous]

What is he doing that bothers you?

[Anonymous]

OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

Yikes. My sister is the same way. She doesn't post any pictures of her DH, because he "doesn't fit her aesthetic".

I don't think you need to interact via social media, since you can do that in person. As for the other things like no photos, I think it depends on what he posts. If he's posting your outings but doesn't include you, then you should say that you would like to be included.

[Anonymous]

I keep people in my real life out of my social media. I don't think my DH wants me to post photos of him and I don't want him to post (his always unflattering) photos of me. If you are my friend or family member I text or call you to tell you happy birthday or how I feel or congrats or whatever. I don't put it on social media because that is lame AF.

[Anonymous]

We aren’t on social media. You both sound immature.

[Anonymous]

My DH isn't on social media at all--he has never had any interest in it (boomer), and he hates the idea of pictures of him "out on the internet"; if he had his way I'd never post pictures of him and never even refer to him. I do so, though, occasionally -- for example, when we take a big vacation, a few pictures of him are going to end up on there. There are pictures of our wedding, etc.

But this situation OP has sounds quite a bit different. OP, I think your situation would bother me as well, but I can't put my finger on why that feeling is/isn't legit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

Yikes. My sister is the same way. She doesn't post any pictures of her DH, because he "doesn't fit her aesthetic".

I don't think you need to interact via social media, since you can do that in person. As for the other things like no photos, I think it depends on what he posts. If he's posting your outings but doesn't include you, then you should say that you would like to be included.

OMG. Yeah, that's problematic in ways I don't have time to count.

[Anonymous]

I do not expect my spouse to interact with me on social media. we live together, its very easy to show pictures to each other, talk to each other etc like normal people

does your spouse have zero pictures of you anywhere on social media? if so, for that aspect yes i'd assume he's trying to present himself as single to flirt with people online

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

does he post himself? or only like pictures of scenery? or doesn't post at all?

[Anonymous]

I don't have social media at all. DH has a Facebook page he remembers to check once a year. That works well for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. For more context what is upsetting me is that he does not acknowledge my existence on social media. There are no pictures or mention of me, and he does not interact with me on it. He’s on it daily interacting with others and appears to be single.

does he post himself? or only like pictures of scenery? or doesn't post at all?

he posts himself. when he posts things we've done together there is no mention of me. it is like I'm purposefully erased. I acknowledge him on his birthday, anniversary, fathers day....and he ignores the posts and never posts about me. if I post about the kids he ignores, etc. but he is heavily active with others on a daily basis.

[Anonymous]

That is super duper weird. I am a late Millennial (40) and Dh and I are both on Facebook and Instagram. I post regularly of the kids and limit most of "friends" to obvious people who are interested in my kids and life and my family. DH rarely ever posts, follows things, but allows me to tag him and will accept the tag. His profile pic is of the two of us. He follows people I don't know and visa versa but not in a nefarious way. 95% of our friends are mutual at this point (on social media and in real life).