Husband pressuring breastfeeding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should combo feed from the start. Doing the benefits of breastmilk come from the presence of breastmilk not the absence of formula? Plan to supplement with formula from the beginning and if nursing comes easier the second time (my experience with my first was nowhere near as bad as yours but it was a bit rough and I was shocked by how easily my second kid latched and drank his fill from birth) you can keep doing it and if it’s a disaster again you can switch to formula pretty easily.

OP here. This is a good choice. I didn’t do it with my first and I think that created issues.

I’m in healthcare and my husband is just really cautious. We had friends who had a baby in the ICU at 5 months because he got RSV. Another contracted bacterial meningitis at 6 months. Very scary stuff. He thinks we should be giving baby the best possible nutrition and immune support during cold/flu season since I will be around sick people ( I work in a express clinic and see sick patients all day).

[Anonymous]

It is really up to you. Second babies are often easier but not always. For me it was at least worth seeing if #2 was a magically easy baby. We had a better go but I still only did 4 months (the length of my leave). I did feel some peace getting to see that it could be a better experience. Only you know what you are up for though and I think if you do try it just make sure you promise yourself you will stop if it is negatively affecting your experience.

[Anonymous]

Baby #1 had a host of issues that led to complicated feeding for the first few weeks. Bay #2 latched on right after birth. It was night and day for me.


That said, try if you want to. Go straight to formula if you don't want to try. Both are valid options. Your husband is well meaning, but you have the breasts. The decision is yours.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would absolutely try again. Different baby, different experience. Plus, you have a whole load of knowledge now that you didn't have with the first one. Six weeks is only a month and a half.

[Anonymous]

My first was losing weight and then not drinking enough for 3 weeks until we switched to formula.

2nd baby was fat on breast milk from day 0 for 2 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is 100% your choice, OP, and whatever is best for you is best for baby, too.

If you are open to anecdata, I was shocked at how much easier it was the second time around. I really loved it and was surprised at how easy and enjoyable it was.

But all that said, whatever make you feel the most comfortable and the most confident is the right answer! Good luck, and congratulations.

+1. Do what you think is best. It’s your choice. But like PP, I was surprised how much easier breastfeeding was the 2nd time. First baby breastfeeding was awful (very painful, couldn’t get latch right) for the first 6 weeks-really didn’t get better until baby was about 3 months. Second baby breastfeeding felt so easy and natural from the start.

[Anonymous]

Some babies stop breastfeeding when they get a bottle, because the bottle is easier.

[Anonymous]

I would absolutely try again. Sounds like the issues with your first were mostly a result of a tongue tie and the second may be much easier - you never know! There are so many benefits for the baby, including receiving your antibodies as you mentioned. Plus, if it does end up working out better this time around, breastfeeding is easy, cheap, and can be such a wonderful bonding experience. Hoping it goes better for you this time around!

[Anonymous]

Another mom here with night and day difference. I’m glad I tried again!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some babies stop breastfeeding when they get a bottle, because the bottle is easier.

OP here. This wasn’t the case for me but glad you offered this as if people didn’t know this already.

[Anonymous]

I think you should do whatever you need to to lower your stress about this. Right now your focus should be on a healthy you for the last few weeks of pregnancy and a safe delivery.

I would tell your husband you’ve heard him and understand his pov. But enough. The conversation is done.

I would get stocked now for your formula for the first few weeks and put some ready to feed bottles in your hospital bag. The hospital should have this available to you but for now limit your stress to know you won’t have to have a million conversations at the hospital if you don’t want to. I know some women have mentioned on other threads they’ve taped a sign to their door and chart that says “Formula only/no breastfeeding” to dissuade “helpful” hospital staff. Might be another good thing to prepare for and make the call if you chose post birth.

At the end of the day you can very easily change your mind and combo feed once the baby is born. Or try it once and be done. Or never attempt to breastfeed. Any choice by you is the right choice.

It’s clear that the issues with #1 are very present for you (rightly so). Being prepared and ceasing discussions might be the best thing for your mental state right now. Your mental health is the top priority so that you can just enjoy your new baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should do whatever you need to to lower your stress about this. Right now your focus should be on a healthy you for the last few weeks of pregnancy and a safe delivery.

I would tell your husband you’ve heard him and understand his pov. But enough. The conversation is done.

I would get stocked now for your formula for the first few weeks and put some ready to feed bottles in your hospital bag. The hospital should have this available to you but for now limit your stress to know you won’t have to have a million conversations at the hospital if you don’t want to. I know some women have mentioned on other threads they’ve taped a sign to their door and chart that says “Formula only/no breastfeeding” to dissuade “helpful” hospital staff. Might be another good thing to prepare for and make the call if you chose post birth.

At the end of the day you can very easily change your mind and combo feed once the baby is born. Or try it once and be done. Or never attempt to breastfeed. Any choice by you is the right choice.

It’s clear that the issues with #1 are very present for you (rightly so). Being prepared and ceasing discussions might be the best thing for your mental state right now. Your mental health is the top priority so that you can just enjoy your new baby.

Don’t stock up on formula. You don’t know what kind your baby will take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should do whatever you need to to lower your stress about this. Right now your focus should be on a healthy you for the last few weeks of pregnancy and a safe delivery.

I would tell your husband you’ve heard him and understand his pov. But enough. The conversation is done.

I would get stocked now for your formula for the first few weeks and put some ready to feed bottles in your hospital bag. The hospital should have this available to you but for now limit your stress to know you won’t have to have a million conversations at the hospital if you don’t want to. I know some women have mentioned on other threads they’ve taped a sign to their door and chart that says “Formula only/no breastfeeding” to dissuade “helpful” hospital staff. Might be another good thing to prepare for and make the call if you chose post birth.

At the end of the day you can very easily change your mind and combo feed once the baby is born. Or try it once and be done. Or never attempt to breastfeed. Any choice by you is the right choice.

It’s clear that the issues with #1 are very present for you (rightly so). Being prepared and ceasing discussions might be the best thing for your mental state right now. Your mental health is the top priority so that you can just enjoy your new baby.

Don’t stock up on formula. You don’t know what kind your baby will take.

Having formula for the first few weeks is much better than scrambling once the baby has arrived. It’s not like OP would be buying for their 6 months.

[Anonymous]

I'm saying this as someone who just got lucky with two really easy nursing experiences. Both my babies just latched and off we went. However, I have seen my friends put themselves through HELL and back trying to breastfeed through various issues, many due to pressures from their husband or doctors. IMO it is not worth it. Newborn stage, especially with an older child (no more sleeping when baby sleeps, two kids need your attention, etc), is hard enough and you don't need packed on additional stress if that's what nursing will be for you.

Do you now which US Presidents were breastfed? How many NASA astronauts? How many Noble Prize winners? No? Neither does anyone else because there's no correlation between being breast-feed and success in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm saying this as someone who just got lucky with two really easy nursing experiences. Both my babies just latched and off we went. However, I have seen my friends put themselves through HELL and back trying to breastfeed through various issues, many due to pressures from their husband or doctors. IMO it is not worth it. Newborn stage, especially with an older child (no more sleeping when baby sleeps, two kids need your attention, etc), is hard enough and you don't need packed on additional stress if that's what nursing will be for you.

Do you now which US Presidents were breastfed? How many NASA astronauts? How many Noble Prize winners? No? Neither does anyone else because there's no correlation between being breast-feed and success in life.

OP here. I’m not worried so much about success in life as I am about immunity. I’m a healthcare worker and I see sick patients for various illnesses all day long. It’s flu/cold season. My husband worries about this.