Please help me get over the anxiety of last minute Friday meetings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday afternoon my boss put a 10 a.m. meeting on my calendar for today.

Ever since July she's been occasionally putting these 3 p.m. Friday meetings on my calendar at the last minute.

I literally had to contact an EAP program therapist, who said I'm experiencing "anxiety." The meetings are never good news.

I am literally sick to my stomach right now. I've asked my boss not to schedule these meetings on a Friday, because I literally FEAR that I'm going to be fired.

What in actual f$$k is wrong with people that would want to make someone feel this way? And before a weekend?

I think it's you. You need to see someone for your anxiety. I don't know how you can function day-to-day if you are this ramped-up all the time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of bad news?

She just talks in nonsensical word salad. She never says anything that makes any sense at all.

She'll start the call in a sarcastic tone, "Did you have fun doing such and such?" referring to a one-day off three day weekend I had when I visited family months ago.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Last minute meaningless friday afternoon meetings are a power play and their purpose is to make you feel bad and anxious. It is very normal to feel the way you do.

Your boss sounds horrible, I would look for a new job.

[Anonymous]

OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

[Anonymous]

The one and only time I got laid off it was via an unscheduled Slack huddle on a Wednesday

But, I get the anxiety, OP. I used to work at a place with really buggy key cards. Every time my keycard would not open the front door I was convinced I had been fired. I was a rockstar employee and my boss wound up being one of my references for grad school, but that did not stop the worrying.

FWIW, I am now in therapy and medicating my anxiety. So, solidarity, OP, but also consider finding was to manage your anxiety better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday afternoon my boss put a 10 a.m. meeting on my calendar for today.

Ever since July she's been occasionally putting these 3 p.m. Friday meetings on my calendar at the last minute.

I literally had to contact an EAP program therapist, who said I'm experiencing "anxiety." The meetings are never good news.

I am literally sick to my stomach right now. I've asked my boss not to schedule these meetings on a Friday, because I literally FEAR that I'm going to be fired.

What in actual f$$k is wrong with people that would want to make someone feel this way? And before a weekend?

I think it's you. You need to see someone for your anxiety. I don't know how you can function day-to-day if you are this ramped-up all the time

+1. I occasionally schedule meetings on Fridays with the people who work for me. It's not in any way because I want to make them feel anxious...it's because I have a need to speak with them about something work related.

[Anonymous]

How are these meetings different than others? What are the meetings titled? Does she give a similar amount of notice for other meetings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

This and I can't believe you asked your boss not to schedule meetings on Fridays. That is their call, not yours.

[Anonymous]

My boss just scheduled a 4:30 meeting for Friday afternoon, it’s about a deadline for a Monday project. I’m doing fine, this is a normal thing to do.

I’m sorry you are experiencing severe anxiety, it sounds like you need some therapy and perhaps medication for your mental health. Unfortunately telling your boss that she can’t ever schedule meetings with you on Fridays is not a solution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of bad news?

She just talks in nonsensical word salad. She never says anything that makes any sense at all.

She'll start the call in a sarcastic tone, "Did you have fun doing such and such?" referring to a one-day off three day weekend I had when I visited family months ago.

None of this makes any sense. Surely the meetings are about SOMETHING. Is your anxiety making it so you shut down and can't understand what she is saying? If it is just nonsense, it isn't "bad news."

There is nothing wrong with having meetings on Fridays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

Not at all! DCUM has a number of undertrained middle managers who think a$$h0lery substitutes for personnel management skills.

Fridays are a terrible day to schedule sudden, unannounced meetings. Particularly of a punitive nature.
C'mon people. The supervisor here has a history of being a jerk at these meetings. Yet some of you have the gall to blame OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

Not at all! DCUM has a number of undertrained middle managers who think a$$h0lery substitutes for personnel management skills.

Fridays are a terrible day to schedule sudden, unannounced meetings. Particularly of a punitive nature.
C'mon people. The supervisor here has a history of being a jerk at these meetings. Yet some of you have the gall to blame OP?

OP isn't giving enough details. Some of this sounds like paranoia. It's normal for a boss to ask you how was your day off to see family a few weeks ago. It's just small talk. OP is reading it as sarcastic but it may just be the way her boss talks. OP doesn’t give details of what the boss said that's actually bad or what agenda is presented or whether this amount of notice is typical. It's 100% possible her boss is doing what you describe but not with the details provided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

Not at all! DCUM has a number of undertrained middle managers who think a$$h0lery substitutes for personnel management skills.

Fridays are a terrible day to schedule sudden, unannounced meetings. Particularly of a punitive nature.
C'mon people. The supervisor here has a history of being a jerk at these meetings. Yet some of you have the gall to blame OP?

The supervisor doesn’t have a history of being a jerk at the meetings though. She asks about OP’s recent travel and then talks in nonsense, if we believe Op. that is a waste of time but hardly being a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this sounds like a you issue not your boss.

Not at all! DCUM has a number of undertrained middle managers who think a$$h0lery substitutes for personnel management skills.

Fridays are a terrible day to schedule sudden, unannounced meetings. Particularly of a punitive nature.
C'mon people. The supervisor here has a history of being a jerk at these meetings. Yet some of you have the gall to blame OP?

Except so far OP hasn’t really offered any examples of being a jerk beyond asking a question about a three day weekend that could have been an innocuous conversation starter for all we know. OP’s alarmist reaction to the meetings doesn’t give me confidence she accurately perceived the impetus for the question.

OP, besides the question about a day off, what are some concrete things that have happened that made the meetings “not good news”?