Weird daycare drop off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A daycare teacher who doesn’t understand two, three or even four year old is not and should not be teaching at that school. If that is what the school is like then that should serve as a big red flag to you.

+1 something is wrong with this adult (the other parent) for making such a big deal about being touched (in a non-private place) by a 2yo. Full stop. This is completely normal behavior for a 2yo and a lot of adults are very screwed up

To me the daycare is concerning bc the teacher is giving too much weight to what this screwed up parent said. Yes they should work on teaching kids not to touch or hug others where it is unwelcome. But at that age they are not asking permission. It's more like reading body language or understanding No if another CHILD says that.

I hate the idea of coddling an adult at the expense of making a child feel bad. It can screw up the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A daycare teacher who doesn’t understand two, three or even four year old is not and should not be teaching at that school. If that is what the school is like then that should serve as a big red flag to you.

+1 something is wrong with this adult (the other parent) for making such a big deal about being touched (in a non-private place) by a 2yo. Full stop. This is completely normal behavior for a 2yo and a lot of adults are very screwed up

To me the daycare is concerning bc the teacher is giving too much weight to what this screwed up parent said. Yes they should work on teaching kids not to touch or hug others where it is unwelcome. But at that age they are not asking permission. It's more like reading body language or understanding No if another CHILD says that.

I hate the idea of coddling an adult at the expense of making a child feel bad. It can screw up the kid.

I don’t really get it. My kid is a bit younger but the kids at daycare sometimes hug or seek attention from other parents. I can’t see this becoming a huge issue in a few months when they’re 2. I wonder if the other parent was concerned about the perception of them being inappropriate and that’s why they said something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Find another daycare. That is a huge red flag. She is TWO.

This. Sone kids aren’t even talking at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A daycare teacher who doesn’t understand two, three or even four year old is not and should not be teaching at that school. If that is what the school is like then that should serve as a big red flag to you.

+1 something is wrong with this adult (the other parent) for making such a big deal about being touched (in a non-private place) by a 2yo. Full stop. This is completely normal behavior for a 2yo and a lot of adults are very screwed up

To me the daycare is concerning bc the teacher is giving too much weight to what this screwed up parent said. Yes they should work on teaching kids not to touch or hug others where it is unwelcome. But at that age they are not asking permission. It's more like reading body language or understanding No if another CHILD says that.

I hate the idea of coddling an adult at the expense of making a child feel bad. It can screw up the kid.

I don’t really get it. My kid is a bit younger but the kids at daycare sometimes hug or seek attention from other parents. I can’t see this becoming a huge issue in a few months when they’re 2. I wonder if the other parent was concerned about the perception of them being inappropriate and that’s why they said something.

Re the bolded, I totally agree. It would be different if DD is touching random people at restaurants etc, that's not acceptable to be in their personal space and could be a safety issue. But in a preschool, that's an environment that is for safe exploration. Usually other parents of kids that age understand what young kids are like...

[Anonymous]

This is wild to me. At that age a LOT of the kids at pickup time would run up saying hi (son's name) mommy and give my legs huge hugs. It seems pretty age appropriate to me. I think your approach of broaching the topic with admin is a good one since you otherwise enjoy the daycare. Once you chat with admin though I would keep an eye on the teacher to ensure there's no retaliation against your child. I don't even mean physical but rather treating her differently or being otherwise nasty.

[Anonymous]

How old is the teacher? There are some generational differences in what is considered appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Once when I was in line at the grocery store a 2 yr old in line behind me just reached forward and hugged my legs. I patted him on the back and thought it was funny/cute. That teacher is weird.

[Anonymous]

It is not developmentally appropriate for a 2 year old to ask consent. Many are barely talking at that age. If the adult didn't want a hug, just decline or move away. This is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

I also just picture of the other parent’s tights-covered legs being right in the two year olds line of sight! It sounds really age-appropriate and spontaneous and adorable. Yes, if my two year old child did that I would redirect them, but I’m not even sure how much I would try to turn it into a teachable moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 2.5 year old asking for consent...lol

I know. Op, this is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did the teacher say she "should have" done that or did she say something like "Larla needs to work on asking permission before hugging or touching others?"

I can understand that this is not an unusual thing for a 2 yr old to do, but I agree with the teacher this is something you can't just ignore if it is upsetting other children or making them uncomfortable. I taught my DD from a young age to say "I need space" when she feels a classmate or friend is touching her in a way she doesn't like, and it's fairly effective, but there are a lot of kids who have clearly never been told that it is not appropriate to touch people when they don't like it.

I would take it as the teacher letting you know this is something your kid needs to work on. It's fine if it takes years, she's two. But it's good to flag this and maybe start reinforcing the idea with her that she should ask first before hugging or snuggling someone, or before touching their clothes or hair. She's also not too young to learn a conditional rule like "At home we don't have to ask because we're family and we already know we like to snuggle. But at school and on the playground, we have to ask first." Kids, even at this age, can handle that kind of nuance.

Are you the mom this little girl hugged?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once when I was in line at the grocery store a 2 yr old in line behind me just reached forward and hugged my legs. I patted him on the back and thought it was funny/cute. That teacher is weird.

It would make my day if this happened to me!

With my 2yo, I would of course redirect and apologize if it happened in a random place. Preschool is their safe space to explore.

[Anonymous]

Kids should be taught not to go around touching strangers without their permission.

[Anonymous]

I don't wanna get touched. Especially if the kid is sick.
There are boundaries

[Anonymous]

Go touch yourself