How did your teen come out of depression?
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Anonymous
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Parent here, not OP, I’m burnt out in my situation. I can’t see DD ever getting out of depression, anxiety- she’s literally ‘killing’ me inside, the stress everyday, the buildup of years dealing with her insecurity is just pushing me off a ledge.
Two more years until college which I can see her going but I can’t see her going away to school. If she goes here, she will be at our home every weekend. She doesn’t want to take medicine so I do. Does depression ever really go away? I’ve tried everything with her, she hoes to therapy (eh, helpful), doesn’t want meds, doesn’t exercise, doesn’t eat right, doesn’t want to meditate or do breathing. Has a couple friends now but it’s so up and down. I’m going to start drinking! |
Anonymous
22:26 here. I gently suggest you have some joint sessions with your DD's counselor and consider getting your own counselor. It's important that you establish reasonable boundaries and expectations - including boundaries that protect your own mental health. If your DD is unwilling to take the steps needed to manage her depression (medication is often a critical piece), you should not enable her behaviors. You should not be her crutch to managing her insecurities. I get it, it's hard. It's painful. I've been through it with my DSs and my DH. I say something along the lines of, 'I love you and want to help you. I have told you that X, Y, Z are considered best practices in managing depression yet you refuse to try them. You continue to do what you've always done and expect different results. There's nothing more I can do for you until you make different choices. I'm happy to make/take you to appointments, pick up medications and pay for things. I'm happy to go with you to counseling to discuss this but, for my own mental health, I cannot enable your dysfunction." Yeah, I know it can sound harsh but when you're living with someone that refuses to take an extended hand, you have to be direct and protect yourself. Hugs. |
Anonymous
This is the killer paradox with depression - the depressed person sometimes won't take steps that would make things better (medication, exercise, eating well, etc.) because their depression makes them believe nothing will ever get better or can ever get better and it's all futile. Overcoming that barrier is so, so hard. Can she articulate *why* she doesn't want to try medication? Is it just that she thinks it won't work, or she won't like the side effects, or something else? Would she agree - entirely as a favor to you - to give it a two to three month trial, with the understanding that if, at the end, she doesn't want to continue she doesn't have to? Framing it as a short term trial rather than the new normal can help it seem less daunting. Framing it as a favor to you (rather than trying to convince her it will work) can also help, as she can't argue against it as easily. For many people, getting past that initial hurdle is the key, because with medication it starts to seem more possible that other interventions will help, and the world opens up. |
Anonymous
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Prozac is the answer. Start them on this before they start self medicating with alcohol/pot.
People often think alcohol is some strange culprit that you have a genetic disposition to becoming addicted to. Let me be the one to tell you it is the number one choice for depressives for self-medication. Usually the depression is what is genetic. Speaking from knowing a zillion depressives and alcoholics. |
Anonymous
| She may need to switch therapists. Maybe a CBT or DBT therapist would be more effective if she’s not making progress with talk therapy. |
Anonymous
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Maturity and time.
As we get older we can understand and believe and internalize that what we are not the center of others attention and that our experience is not unique and others around us have similar problems. Gaining the insight that one is in fact not the “only one who feels this way” or the “only one dealing with these problems” starts to unravel and removes the self inflicted shame and isolation that often breeds the depression in teen years. The second thing maturity brings is more life experiences. Talk therapy is somewhat wasted on teens who have little life experiences to reflect on and apply the discussions and strategies from therapy. Until they have more life experience applying abstract techniques is difficult and that’s why CBT and talk therapy produce little results for most teens. |
Anonymous
| Feels like never, my kid is going kill me, drown me too in depression. |
Anonymous
Was coming in to say same. My nephew tried everything and it turns out he was treatment resistant. Ketamine did the trick. He is back to his old self after two terribly long frightening years of depression and hospitalizations. |
Anonymous
I have a 15 year old maybe like this. We just quit it. The rat race. We pulled out of it. Withdrew from school. Found a chill homeschool group. 2 half days a week. I work within myself on my mantra CONNECTION MATTERS and work so hard at creating non cringy (I am a millennial) bonding time watching shows or doing activities outside of their “enclosure” I have worked so hard to pick up the speech patterns and phrases so we have this weird little language to CONNECT. It is exhausting it takes every bit of my energy. |
Anonymous
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My 19 yr old was depressed her freshman year of college. Didn't get out much, didn't do well. Over the summer she worked at a daycamp. Was outside, made friends, and was busy between 9-5. Lost weight and looked great, made friends, woke up happy. she needed a purpose.
She is going to MC for a year, then may give living at college another try. |
Anonymous
| Let her leave school and finish in an alternative way. Sent her on a 6 month study abroad. Time. Now doing very well in college. |
Anonymous
| We’re starting to experience similar situation with DC who just started MS. Right before school started DC e petite CES stomach issues. Now doesn’t want to eat or do anything physical because they don’t feel well. Have gotten a physical exam and they are healthy. Looking at what possible next steps may be. |
Anonymous
Prozac is not the answer for many teens due to the side effects. Weight gain, problems climaxing, headaches, sweating, stomach issues, etc... I personally think Wellbutrin should be the first line of medication for kids that are severely depressed. |
Anonymous
| Prozac was the only thing that worked in our house (and was the third medication she tried). Things aren’t perfect but I feel like I have my child back and not who she was when she was severely depressed. I am grateful for her medication and wonderful psychiatrist every day. |
Anonymous
It was probably the only thing you tried and you don't care about your's daughter's side effects or did your research. But many of them have life long consequences and the biggest once is low sex drive and unable to orgasm - during and years after coming off SSRI's. So do your homework. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/09/health/antidepressants-ssri-sexual-dysfunction.html |