How did your teen come out of depression?

[Anonymous]

Was it maturity? Medication? Something else?

My teen is depressed and on medication for about a year. I was hoping for just a snap out of it but that’s not happening.

What worked for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was it maturity? Medication? Something else?

My teen is depressed and on medication for about a year. I was hoping for just a snap out of it but that’s not happening.

What worked for you?

Jesus Christ, your poor kid. I hope you did not actually say those awful words to them.

[Anonymous]

Ketamine. We went through too many suicide attempts to count. Tried just about every medication. Therapy several times a week. Ketamine worked & now off all other meds & just wrapped up therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was it maturity? Medication? Something else?

My teen is depressed and on medication for about a year. I was hoping for just a snap out of it but that’s not happening.

What worked for you?

Jesus Christ, your poor kid. I hope you did not actually say those awful words to them.

Of course not!

[Anonymous]

Medication and therapy. But actually backing off and letting them work through it on their own helped the most.

[Anonymous]

Drastic change that in hindsight, he was screaming that he needed. Switched schools, pulled him out of the intensive sport that he used to love, backed off with everything that involved any pressure and had a complete reset. That took a long time. Finding the right therapist and meds helped tremendously but it took a long time to even get to the point where he was open to any of that.

[Anonymous]

Good friends and time.

[Anonymous]

For those who state “time”, I get that. As a parent, was the waiting excruciating and/or scary?

[Anonymous]

Recognizing that managing depression is a lifelong challenge and helping him understand it. It was a marathon.

When they are in the midst of it, it can be incredibly difficult for them to access what they've learned. Building trust with them is critical so they have confidence (or at least compliance) with what you ask them to do: take medication consistently, regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, mindfulness/meditation, volunteering, CBT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recognizing that managing depression is a lifelong challenge and helping him understand it. It was a marathon.

When they are in the midst of it, it can be incredibly difficult for them to access what they've learned. Building trust with them is critical so they have confidence (or at least compliance) with what you ask them to do: take medication consistently, regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, mindfulness/meditation, volunteering, CBT.

+1 I'll add - a willingness/ability to speak to you when they don't think the medication is working or they need a stronger dose. My DS, now in college, has been on an SSRI since late ES (for anxiety). His father also suffers from depression which he says first started in high school. Having open conversations about mental health, being supportive without enabling and helping them implement appropriate coping strategies is key to long term management. It's not easy nor is it fun. It can also take a while to find what works for him. My DH finds journaling/gratitude journels helpful. Our DS does not. He finds movement more effective where he can sort of 'leave behind' the weight of his thoughts.

CBT has also been effective in combination with medication (CBT alone wasn't very effective). I learned CBT techniques as well and, frankly, they can help everyone, not just those in the midst of anxiety/depression. I also make sure screen time has limits and that we find things to do together that we enjoy. I've actually gotten DS to take an interest in the bird/hummingbird feeders! He'd never admit it to his friends but it's a small moment of joy seeing an unusual bird or a hummingbird battle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Recognizing that managing depression is a lifelong challenge and helping him understand it. It was a marathon.

When they are in the midst of it, it can be incredibly difficult for them to access what they've learned. Building trust with them is critical so they have confidence (or at least compliance) with what you ask them to do: take medication consistently, regular exercise, good sleep hygiene, mindfulness/meditation, volunteering, CBT.

This was an aha moment for me. It’s a marathon not a light switch. Thank you for this.

[Anonymous]

you can't put a clock on someone's recovery.

[Anonymous]

May I gently suggest a reframing? It's not about getting your teen to "come out of depression" or "just a snap out of it." It's about how your child learns to manage their depression. You want them to develop strategies so that when depression arises they can manage and move through and beyond it, recognizing it may return, and if it does, they have the capability to deal with it. It's not a cold that just gets better one day, and putting that pressure on them is likely more harmful.

[Anonymous]

For my kid, a combination of medication, therapy, taking more difficult classes, getting involved in a competitive sport, and getting involved in academic clubs and mentoring of younger kids in those area. It’s sort of counter but more stress/pressure was actually helpful. They are a tightly wound person by nature and they were in all these easy classes so spent all that excess mental energy going down internet rabbit holes to bad places and obsessing over social stuff, etc. once they had actual things to focus on that mattered to them, all that energy had a different place to focus. I’m a little worried about college but this has been working okay for the past couple of years. It just shows that the path can be kind of different for different kids, and it’s about finding the things that will allow your kid to feel good about themselves and create a positive identity for themselves.
Mine did DBT therapy during the worst period. I liked how it was focused on skills to deal with the negative emotions rather than obsessing over the negative emotions which sometimes happens with talk therapy, I think. The therapists all stress that you need to validate the bad feelings but if that’s the only validations kid is getting, it can lead them away from recovery, I think. You need to build spaces for them that are more attractive than the negative space they are in. Often that means finding a space for them outside their school’s dominant social environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:May I gently suggest a reframing? It's not about getting your teen to "come out of depression" or "just a snap out of it." It's about how your child learns to manage their depression. You want them to develop strategies so that when depression arises they can manage and move through and beyond it, recognizing it may return, and if it does, they have the capability to deal with it. It's not a cold that just gets better one day, and putting that pressure on them is likely more harmful.

That’s generally right but I think it’s a mistake to conclude that all teens experiencing deprezsoon have a life long tendency towards it. Teen years are unique in at least two ways — you are ina life situation you have very little control over, and there are significant chemical/hormonal shifts. Imagine if someone was pumping your body full of chemicals, and also telling you that you could not quit a job you disliked, could not move out despite not getting along with your roommates, etc. it’s very situational, and can be more similar to going through depression during fertility treatments or something like that.