ILs love to camp in remote locations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My SIL and MIL/FIL often suggest meeting up in far-flung locales for camping trips with the cousins complete with rugged hikes, ziplines, etc.
I hate camping. And they camp in true rugged fashion, this is not glamping.
How much should I suck it up and how much can I politely decline and just send DH and kids? I am not an outdoorsy person nor a good athlete.
I try to suggest other things more to our taste - meeting in a halfway point city for dinner and a show - with limited success.

Do you mean “our” taste or “my” taste? Do DH and the kids like the camping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

[Anonymous]

It depends how much DH and the kids enjoy it. I’d probably go once/yr (maybe twice, depending on how far away, length of trip etc) and send just DH and kids the rest of the time. I assume you see ILs at other times- and obviously you have reached out to plan other things with limited success (but you are trying).

Not sure how old your kids are? But- the older mine have gotten, the less availability we have for this stuff. They are busy with school, activities, sports and are at the age now where they can’t just miss without consequences. We still see family as much as we can, but do not have the availability for frequent trips working on the extended family’s timetable as we did when the kids were smaller.

Compromise goes both ways. It’s fine that they enjoy camping but there needs to be family time beyond that as well.

[Anonymous]

Camping like this is only for those who really want to.

I love hiking and mountain climbing but I'm not a fan of sleeping outdoors, or sleeping in shelters with strangers, so I confine myself to day hikes. Preferably in the Alps.

In your case, no one should be making you feel bad about not wanting to camp. Politely decline. Your husband should defend you if someone starts to criticize.

[Anonymous]

pp has it right

[Anonymous]

Decline. Send your husband and kids.

[Anonymous]

It’s character building. Just do it. Be tough. You’ll be more prepared for the apocalypse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

No, because they all like it except OP, so OP needs to suck it up.

[Anonymous]

Only if the campsite is near an outlet mall 😀

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

No, because they all like it except OP, so OP needs to suck it up.

No, she doesn’t. She’s free to not go. They can then choose: is the style trip more important than being with all members of the family?

In my family, we find ways to compromise and accommodate other people. We value being together. We have even done a “camping this time, beach house next time” kind of scenario where everyone gets exactly the kind of trip they prefer, just not every time. Then again, your family may be different with what—and who—you value.

[Anonymous]

Decline and enjoy your time at home alone, OP. It's not your family but even if it was, you have no obligation to do something you hate doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

She said that sometimes they do meet her halfway and go out to dinner or to a show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

She said that sometimes they do meet her halfway and go out to dinner or to a show.

And that’s the same as a full vacation how, exactly?

Vacation time is rare and there is no way I’d give up a week of vacation with my children.

[Anonymous]

I want to offer advice, but I think I would first need to ask why you hate camping and what your experience has been camping with these in-laws. Families do like different things, and your reasons may be totally understandable, but marriage is also about compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life is short, and family ties are important.

So, your options are:
Suck it up, it's family and important
Skip it - not important to you
Send spouse and kids, you stay home

I would suck it up and attend. My ILs have both passed, and as much as it was incredibly unpleasant being around them, it was important for our kids to have that relationship

Where is your reminder to DH and his parents and siblings that "life is short, and family ties are important"? Shouldn't you be advising them to meet OP halfway by alternating styles of trips, or camping somewhere where she could, say, stay in a nearby lodge or resort?

She said that sometimes they do meet her halfway and go out to dinner or to a show.

And that’s the same as a full vacation how, exactly?

Vacation time is rare and there is no way I’d give up a week of vacation with my children.

Wait, did OP say that it was a week? I thought it was a weekend.