My mom is embarrassing me. Help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah that sounds out of line to me. Id be embarrassed too. Your friend is doing you a favor and your mom is taking advantage at this point.

+1
I'd also tell your mom that she's embarrassing you and next summer if she wants to come she must stay somewhere else. I don't trust my mom in these situations either. She's demonstrated that she will embarrass me. (Her form of embarrassment is different though. She drags unwilling victims into political discussions and goes on about how great Trump is and how unfairly he's being treated. Most of my friends are center leaning left, so this is really awkward). I actually just don't bring her around my friends at all anymore.

I told her she was embarrassing me, and she told me that I was too controlling and overreacting, and that her actions don’t have anything to do with me. But, I feel uncomfortable with her request. My friend doesn’t know my aunt or the dog. And she undermined me by asking her after I specifically said not to. Now she’s acting like she and my friend have this tight relationship where she feels at liberty to keep calling her asking about this stuff (they met twice) and I told my mom she’s embarrassing me. Then she starts telling my friend that I’m embarrassed and my friends texting me, don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I want to kill her, she’s become such a handful! Never again will I connect her with anyone.

[Anonymous]

I feel you, OP. Does your mom reciprocate or is her relationship with your friend one-sided?
Yes your mom is behaving badly and your friend graciously and yes you are responsible because you set it up. Live and learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have imposed your mom on your friend in the first place. That was where you went wrong.

+1 Just make sure you and your mom don’t impose on your friend again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you, OP. Does your mom reciprocate or is her relationship with your friend one-sided?
Yes your mom is behaving badly and your friend graciously and yes you are responsible because you set it up. Live and learn.

She doesn’t have a relationship with my friend. They met twice. Which is why I feel like she needs to stop pestering her with requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have imposed your mom on your friend in the first place. That was where you went wrong.

+1 Just make sure you and your mom don’t impose on your friend again.

+2 that is just way too much to ask of your friend (even if she offered). WAY too much.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to my friend and explain how irritated I am with my mother’s asks. Give her the go ahead to say NO next year (because your mother is going to go behind your back).

[Anonymous]

Never should have accepted your friends offer.

Your mom is pushy- awkward for your friend.

Don’t sweat it too much but this must be last time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to my friend and explain how irritated I am with my mother’s asks. Give her the go ahead to say NO next year (because your mother is going to go behind your back).

I agree. It’s fine if your friend wants to say okay to your mom, but is still want her to know that I was embarrassed by her taking advantage of your generous friend.

[Anonymous]

I’m with you OP. Totally taking advantage of the situation and your mom should have honored your wishes. Put the damn dog I. The kennel or don’t come

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have imposed your mom on your friend in the first place. That was where you went wrong.

I do not agree with the word “impose” as it seems the friend offered. But otherwise BINGO, that is where this went wrong from the start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to my friend and explain how irritated I am with my mother’s asks. Give her the go ahead to say NO next year (because your mother is going to go behind your back).

Also agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Your mom is right. It has nothing to do with you. The friend allowed her to stay and the friend is more than able to put up boundaries where needed.

I am the type who would welcome a friend's mom and if she wanted to bring her sister and well behaved dog, I'd be all for it. It doesn't sound like your mom is being demanding or rude. She has clarified all her requests with her host, which is more than some people's own parents do when staying with them.

What are you so embarrassed about? I'm sure if your friend felt that your mom was overstepping, she would probably ask you to intervene. She hasn't. These are two adults who are communicating respectfully and effectively. Butt out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to my friend and explain how irritated I am with my mother’s asks. Give her the go ahead to say NO next year (because your mother is going to go behind your back).

Also agree with this.

Yep. And to say no and feel no pressure for anything else this year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was very rude of your mom to ask. Adding a guest was already pushing it.

+100, another guest and their pet, come on this is VERY RUDE. You're friends are too nice. Next time don't put them on the spot OP. Make your mom pay for a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP.

I hate to say it but I would be so mortified and furious that I'd cancel the trip. Not only because she's rude af but moreso because she keeps going behind your back and doing the opposite of what you asked AND sharing how you feel about it to your friend.

I wouldn't even be up for a visit at that point. Not only is she incredibly rude and obnoxious - but she also undermined you and manipulated the situation to get her way. Just GROSS.