Friends that make you feel bad that you don’t “do” anything now

[Anonymous]

Just tell them to mind the business that pays them.

[Anonymous]

We’re all wound up and running on fumes during a lot of our working years. Nothing wrong with winding it down a bit and recharging during retirement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re jealous.

10000% this. They want your life and can't have it so why not make you feel guilty for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re all wound up and running on fumes during a lot of our working years. Nothing wrong with winding it down a bit and recharging during retirement.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been retired for three years, I stay up until 2 am and then sleep until noon or later everyday, sometimes spend whole days watching TV or on my computer or napping, other days I play golf or go to the pool or play cards, take an occasional trip, go to an occasional movie or play, tutor kids for an hour or two a week, you get the idea....I do what I want, when I want, as much or as little as I want. Retirement is great.

If anybody I knew gave me any crap about my choices I would laugh at them and possibly avoid them in the future because it's none of their business and I don't care what they think.

I love this!!!

[Anonymous]

The trick is, you also have to apply this grace to a spouse. Lots of complaints on DCUM. Need to have friends, so when I spouse won't participate in whatever it is ...

[Anonymous]

I posted already, but thinking about it, at various phases of life I have re-calibrated. When I started having kids I had a close friend who had no empathy for the sleepless nights and figured a newborn was like an accessory and I should still be available to friend at any moment and should be happy to host her and cater to her while caring for a newborn (who turned out to have special needs). I gave her a chance and tried to help her understand this stage, but the rude comments continued so I focused on the friends who were kind and I made some new friends at the same stage.

Give your friends a chance by gently addressing their comments. If they continue to be rude perhaps it's time to re-calibrate and make those friends less of a priority.

[Anonymous]

OP, I suspect there is more to it than you posted. My first thought was the same as the first response. Own your own feelings! If someone says something that makes you feel so bad you post about it on DCUM, why is that?

There is nothing wrong with being retired at an early age. However, you don’t do nothing all day. You may not have structure but you do something. You sleep/nap, or watch TV, or people watch out the window… you do something. I suspect your conversations with your friends are contentious. I don’t know if it is you or them. If it is multiple people “making you feel this way, think about why that is. You may need new friends! You may also be bragging in some manner that is rubbing people the wrong way. Just give it some thought.

I have two close neighbors who do not work. One has school-aged children and she outsources a lot. She is very open that her working spouse does the laundry. She cooks, but does not grocery shop. She also takes the kids to practices/appointments. And, she is open that she has a ton of downtime that she enjoys. This would get boring to me after awhile, but she owns it and is happy with her life.

The other neighbor is now an empty-nester. Her husband is a high earner; she chooses not to work. I genuinely wonder what she does all day. She may play golf or tennis once a week. Otherwise, she seems bored. I hear other people make gentle suggestions to her on things to do. I think this is because she is constantly talking about how she has nothing to do! Just an anecdote to share that may give you perspective.

[Anonymous]

I'm jealous of you, OP. I can't wait to be there already!

[Anonymous]

OP, congrats on spending your husband's money! You won at life! Thanks for sharing.