I cannot keep cooking when my tween insults my food

[Anonymous]

You’re ok, OP. Sounds like nobody noticed you gave up on cooking. It’s fine. You had a bad day, and tomorrow will be better. When you’re feeling good, talk to her about meals she likes and also get her involved in prep and cooking.

[Anonymous]

She was self aware to catch herself and apologize. She did the right thing there.
You turned everything off and the food is half done a spoiling, who’s the child now?
And what’s the point of that, so your husband can come home, ask what happened, and you can relive the hurt, make a show of it all, and put the blame on your daughter all over again?
If you’re really done cooking, commit, and throw it in the trash.

[Anonymous]

My kids (14 and 12) are each responsible for cooking dinner once/wk during the summer. (During the school year is hard- too many activities). I’d put her in charge of dinner once a week.

Also, if my kids don’t like what I am cooking, they are quite welcome to cook and clean up their own reasonably healthy meal based on what we have available. I don’t take it personally (or consider it worth the battle at this stage).

Direct rudeness and disrespect at my house gets one warning and then electronics time/phone taken away for the rest of the day. Not something I will put up with.

[Anonymous]

If all kids old enough, take a cooking holiday and do not substitute it with fast food and frozen pizzas. Instead have cereal available, sandwich meats, cheeses, salads, fruits and raw veggies and task the older one to make one of the meals.

[Anonymous]

We also made a rule that whoever criticizes the food, makes the next meal. We said okay to say “I’m not a big fan” or even quietly not finish something, but not more. Think ours saw one too many judging shows! Interestingly when more cooks in house do end up talking about what make but in a more productive/interesting conversation and not “yuk!”

[Anonymous]

I think you should go give her a hug and say you had a long day, the reaction was not about her.

I also think it’s great she apologized but it still is hurtful and your feelings are valid.

Try to think about it as, how can I approach this next time? And don’t beat yourself up.

[Anonymous]

Your teen may have had a tough day too and was hoping for something yummy to eat (comforting).

Apologize to her for lashing out. Give her some context ("it wasn't aimed at you, but the situation as a whole, b/c i hadnt expected thst reaction fro. you and it just stressed me out more , and work was really tough today, and I'm tired, and the drive home sucked. I'm sorry honey. I thought pulled chicken would be good for dinner tonight, but after this long day I guess pasta it is instead").

[Anonymous]

The rule here is if you don't want to eat what we make, you can make your own dinner. How old is she? Mine have been able to cook meals at 9 years old.

[Anonymous]

I would probably have said great more for us. Cereal is in the pantry help yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We also made a rule that whoever criticizes the food, makes the next meal. We said okay to say “I’m not a big fan” or even quietly not finish something, but not more. Think ours saw one too many judging shows! Interestingly when more cooks in house do end up talking about what make but in a more productive/interesting conversation and not “yuk!”

My kid told me Gordon Ramsay would throw my eggs in the trash. He didn’t even mean to be rude — Gordon Ramsay apparently has very high standards for a fried egg.
It is depressing trying to cook for 5 and make it reasonably healthy with no much time or energy. It is a repeat conversation in my house about being appreciative and flexible. It’s not going to be your favorite every night. I have a friend that says “if you have a complaint, I have a volunteer.” But then my kids just back down on the complaint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her she can make dinner.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Blah. I dont like cooking and avoid it msube half the days. We eat often eat stuff like pasta, salads, mac and cheese from the box with broccoli, omelettes, pancakes, veggie burgers. I know i could do a lot better but i just dont enjoy it. My mom sat a very high bar as an excellent cook of our ethnic food, but it’s just too much for me to handle. I can make maybe one dish competently at a time.

[Anonymous]

You need to separate your bad day and her comments and deal each separately. Your focus for your daughter should be teaching her life lessons and help her grow up. Kids say dumb and hurtful things. She will learn from this and that’s a great lesson for her. Move on.

[Anonymous]

Don’t let a bad moment ruin your night

[Anonymous]

Sorry— pp above again. I failed to make my point. As a result of my avoidance of cooking, my tween and young teen have become quite adept at it. It’s almost as if i planned it this way.