65 yr old mom forgetting things and maybe gaslighting

[Anonymous]

Your poor mom, it’s scary to start experiencing symptoms of cognitive decline. Please encourage her to be evaluated by a doctor and practice some patience - you are an easy target for her to vent when she is going through something potentially scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for your mom. Her SIL is evil for informing her as to your dad’s new life. Your dad is a jerk for not giving your mom money. You’d called your mom crazy.

I’m not seeing any gaslighting described in your post, OP.

You sound like you have no compassion or empathy.

I’d be crazy too if I had to deal with you all.

This. Plus, apparently her mom had a stroke! OP is annoyed that, while going through all this, her mom didn't do enough for the family dog.

[Anonymous]

Gaslighting has officially jumped the shark. I immediately think the OP is full of BS when they use this term.

[Anonymous]

Oh she then accuses me of wanting her to die so I can stay with the scant 90k that she got as an inheritance from her mother.

Scant? Check your privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for your mom. Her SIL is evil for informing her as to your dad’s new life. Your dad is a jerk for not giving your mom money. You’d called your mom crazy.

I’m not seeing any gaslighting described in your post, OP.

You sound like you have no compassion or empathy.

I’d be crazy too if I had to deal with you all.

This. Plus, apparently her mom had a stroke! OP is annoyed that, while going through all this, her mom didn't do enough for the family dog.

I feel sorry for OP’s mom. OP sounds truly narcissistic.

OP, from a decent human being point of view, for starters: Don’t call mom crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She is embarrassed for being called out on not remembering! Duh!

This! It’s so obvious that it’s hard to see how OP missed this. Strike caused memory issues; Mom either doesn’t know or is in denial and embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Your mom is in a hellish place right now, has had a stroke and is experiencing cognitive issues. She's not gaslighting anyone. I'd be concerned that she's the one being gaslighted.

I'm a dog lover, but I don't see the dog with eye ulcers as being in the same league with the mom.

[Anonymous]

People under stress forget things. People who have strokes forget things. They do not have the ability to gaslight.
1. Stop telling/yelling at your mom when she asks repeatedly for information.
2. Tell your Aunt to stop telling your mom about what your dad and his new girlfriend are doing.
3. Make sure your mom is well represented in the divorce and gets half of the assets. Her $90k inheritance is hers and should not be divided with Dad.
4. Make sure your mom is signed up for Medicare and Social Security - if her Social Security is less than half of your father’s, she gets the amount that is higher. If your Dad’s Social Security is more than your mother’s and he predeceases her, she is entitled to his full Social Security. This is all done by Social Security and your Dad doesn’t need to know about it all.
5. Until your mom recovers from the stroke, you need to be the adult.
6. I am sorry your dog died.
7. Look into your local county Council on Aging to see if your mom qualifies for any programs and/or assistance.
8. Don’t forget to breathe. Things will subside once you get your mom set up and the divorce is finalized.

[Anonymous]

You all sound horrible around her. Your dad leaving her and having a new life at over 70?? Friend rubbing it in, you telling her she is crazy.
If anything you are all gaslighting her.

[Anonymous]

Mental evaluation is needed ASAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mental evaluation is needed ASAP

For both OP and her mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People under stress forget things. People who have strokes forget things. They do not have the ability to gaslight.
1. Stop telling/yelling at your mom when she asks repeatedly for information.
2. Tell your Aunt to stop telling your mom about what your dad and his new girlfriend are doing.
3. Make sure your mom is well represented in the divorce and gets half of the assets. Her $90k inheritance is hers and should not be divided with Dad.
4. Make sure your mom is signed up for Medicare and Social Security - if her Social Security is less than half of your father’s, she gets the amount that is higher. If your Dad’s Social Security is more than your mother’s and he predeceases her, she is entitled to his full Social Security. This is all done by Social Security and your Dad doesn’t need to know about it all.
5. Until your mom recovers from the stroke, you need to be the adult.
6. I am sorry your dog died.
7. Look into your local county Council on Aging to see if your mom qualifies for any programs and/or assistance.
8. Don’t forget to breathe. Things will subside once you get your mom set up and the divorce is finalized.

Thank you. She has recovered and refuses to believe it was a stroke she had though a doctor said it was. I'll try to exercise more patience and prevent being alone so I won't be an easy target for her. I look the most like my dad so I believe I could be a target more so than my brother who relies on her for taking care of his kids and dogs. I don't speak to that aunt. I'll help her look into those programs thanks for the suggestions!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mom is in a hellish place right now, has had a stroke and is experiencing cognitive issues. She's not gaslighting anyone. I'd be concerned that she's the one being gaslighted.

I'm a dog lover, but I don't see the dog with eye ulcers as being in the same league with the mom.

No one but me was taking care of the pup. Nobody cared about the pup at that time. If I had been negligent like my mom and brother our pup would have lost both of his eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh she then accuses me of wanting her to die so I can stay with the scant 90k that she got as an inheritance from her mother.

Scant? Check your privilege.

My mom referred to it as scant. She grew up privileged but long story short she didn't have that same privilege while married to my dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for your mom. Her SIL is evil for informing her as to your dad’s new life. Your dad is a jerk for not giving your mom money. You’d called your mom crazy.

I’m not seeing any gaslighting described in your post, OP.

You sound like you have no compassion or empathy.

I’d be crazy too if I had to deal with you all.

This. Plus, apparently her mom had a stroke! OP is annoyed that, while going through all this, her mom didn't do enough for the family dog.

I feel sorry for OP’s mom. OP sounds truly narcissistic.

OP, from a decent human being point of view, for starters: Don’t call mom crazy.

Check yourself. I care about all beings (human and animal). Don't get all high and mighty with your decent human being crap and name call mel.