Finally said goodbye to embryos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

How is this different than a mother deciding to terminate a pregnancy? Her body her choice. The children and siblings don't get a say.

[Anonymous]

I understand this.
I hope to reach a decision too. We have embryos, but are content with our family and know we will dispose. It's just difficult to actually sign on that line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

Are you pro-choice?

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

You can’t understand not wanting a child of yours raise by others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

They are not your siblings. They are a ball of cells in a lab.

I had to destroy one embryo and it genuinely didn't bother me because I don't think of embryos as people or babies. Probably I don't think so because I went through a lot of embryos to get one kid. Those weren't all people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

I think I would donate them to research, but not to another couple. Why? Because then I'd have a full biological child out there whom I did not know or raise! To me, that is very strange. With DNA testing and people wanting to know their histories, this isn't something that would be kept secret. And I just couldn't let someone else raise my kid and watch it happen without opinions about how they were doing it!

So yeah, donating to a couple to try to have a baby would be a non-starter for me. Destroying them or donating them for research would be my choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

What, exactly, would you be upset about? I had 3 miscarriages. I don't tell my children they have 3 other siblings. All were gone early in pregnancy. They were not "babies" yet. These are embryos. Not babies. Yes, there is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

You seemed to know an awful lot about IVF to ask your parents all those questions. Also, what a self-absorbed perspective. Beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without getting too personal, we were fortunate enough to have three beautiful children conceived via IVF (all from the OG egg retrieval). We’ve been paying shady grove to keep the remaining embryos frozen for close to a decade now, but they keep raising the prices every year and we know we are finished having children. I know I’m blessed that we have three kids and had embryos to spare, but it’s just so sad to say goodbye. And no, I just can’t bring myself to donate them to another family, although I have such great admiration for people who are that selfless. Just hoping maybe for some support from others who have done this that the sadness eases in time.

Why not donate them??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without getting too personal, we were fortunate enough to have three beautiful children conceived via IVF (all from the OG egg retrieval). We’ve been paying shady grove to keep the remaining embryos frozen for close to a decade now, but they keep raising the prices every year and we know we are finished having children. I know I’m blessed that we have three kids and had embryos to spare, but it’s just so sad to say goodbye. And no, I just can’t bring myself to donate them to another family, although I have such great admiration for people who are that selfless. Just hoping maybe for some support from others who have done this that the sadness eases in time.

What if one of your children cannot conceive?? I'd save them or anonymously donate them through vetted channels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you can destroy them, but cannot donate them, as either way, you don't have the children. Regardless, though, that's your choice and I'm sorry you're upset.

+1
I would feel better knowing I got them at least a chance with an other family struggling with infertility

Were you ever in this situation? Did you donate them?

If not, then you have no idea.

DP but I was an IVF baby. When I found that out it took me forever to get the nerve to ask if my parents destroyed embryos. I had one sibling but always wanted a larger family and it would’ve destroyed me knowing my siblings (which very well could have been me) were killed simply because they weren’t picked. (And gratefully my parents only had one embryo each time). So PP - were you ever in *that* situation? If not then you have no idea.

Embryos are not siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I am supposed to be all supportive, but I do not understand these feelings of sadness. Are you donating them to stem cell research at least?
Why would you keep them and keep paying for it for a decade? Are you looking for a spare just in case? How many spares do you need, even if you were a Queen?

Sometimes it’s ok to not post.

You think OP’s thread was going to go over well in a group for people who are still battling infertility?

Yes, this doesn’t seem like the appropriate board for this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I am supposed to be all supportive, but I do not understand these feelings of sadness. Are you donating them to stem cell research at least?
Why would you keep them and keep paying for it for a decade? Are you looking for a spare just in case? How many spares do you need, even if you were a Queen?

Sometimes it’s ok to not post.

You think OP’s thread was going to go over well in a group for people who are still battling infertility?

Yes, this doesn’t seem like the appropriate board for this post.

She should donate them!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without getting too personal, we were fortunate enough to have three beautiful children conceived via IVF (all from the OG egg retrieval). We’ve been paying shady grove to keep the remaining embryos frozen for close to a decade now, but they keep raising the prices every year and we know we are finished having children. I know I’m blessed that we have three kids and had embryos to spare, but it’s just so sad to say goodbye. And no, I just can’t bring myself to donate them to another family, although I have such great admiration for people who are that selfless. Just hoping maybe for some support from others who have done this that the sadness eases in time.

What if one of your children cannot conceive?? I'd save them or anonymously donate them through vetted channels.

So you would have your child give birth to and parent their sibling? What the actual F.

[Anonymous]

This is way too gattaca for me.