Guest etiquette- towels

[Anonymous]

OP, do you ordinarily assume malice or the worst of intentions when bad things happen?

That's not a good character attribute. You should work on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy cheap towels?

They WEREN’T cheap towels, and now they are basically bleached in places- I agree that again, they were the wrong towels to use for guests.

I’m just surprised because, if I had been in the situation, I would have:
1) known my kids use a topical thing that destroys towels and given my host a heads up OR
2) seen the damage and offered to buy new towels

It’s not a huge deal, I’m just surprised that the consensus is so different than how I personally would have handled the situation. idk. My baby threw up in my IL’s car and we offered to have it detailed- I would just assume it’s a common courtesy to at least apologize for leaving something worse off than when you came

I mean, the offering to buy new towels thing is kind of, like, whatever. If this happened in my house the guests would maybe offer and I would definitely say not to do it. But I would like to think they wouldn’t feel the need to offer because they know I’m not keeping score on petty sh$t like that.

[Anonymous]

Also, OP, what are you going for here? Do you want the Guest Etiquette Police to come to their house and issue a citation for forgetting to say “oh my gosh, can we replace these towels?”

Or is the truth that you just relish the feeling of victimhood and superiority and you’re going to rehash this stupid towel thing with your poor husband and several friends to drag it out?

Which is the greater sin? To most of us, policing other people’s behavior in this way (even if only in your head) is far worse than messing up the towels.

For all you know, the parents told the teens to apologize and offer to replace the towels but they didn’t because they’re dumb teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy cheap towels?

They WEREN’T cheap towels, and now they are basically bleached in places- I agree that again, they were the wrong towels to use for guests.

I’m just surprised because, if I had been in the situation, I would have:
1) known my kids use a topical thing that destroys towels and given my host a heads up OR
2) seen the damage and offered to buy new towels

It’s not a huge deal, I’m just surprised that the consensus is so different than how I personally would have handled the situation. idk. My baby threw up in my IL’s car and we offered to have it detailed- I would just assume it’s a common courtesy to at least apologize for leaving something worse off than when you came

I mean, the offering to buy new towels thing is kind of, like, whatever. If this happened in my house the guests would maybe offer and I would definitely say not to do it. But I would like to think they wouldn’t feel the need to offer because they know I’m not keeping score on petty sh$t like that.

+1. Vomit in a car is very different than leaving some bleach stains on towels. You’re the odd one here OP. Just get new towels

[Anonymous]

If they noticed, they should’ve offered to replace them. I’m guessing they didn’t notice and didn’t realize in advance this would happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they noticed, they should’ve offered to replace them. I’m guessing they didn’t notice and didn’t realize in advance this would happen.

I'm guessing they didn't notice. You are overreacting by thinking they purposely did this and that they are thoughtless, when I guarantee you the kids didn't notice, parents didn't realize.

But you also say you offered to have a car detailed for baby spit up? So you operate differently than most. If my "baby" threw up in my parents car I would apologize, clean it very well, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you have kids, what are towels from your wedding? Live life, stuff happens, your kids are gonna damage a lot. At first I thought you must be childless, but you're not. The towels are "too nice?" then when will they be used?

If they are so nice, you and your husband only should use them.

I'm sure your guest have no idea and would feel bad if they thought they messed them up, but if you value them , say nothing.

[Anonymous]

A heads up would have been nice if they had noticed. They may not have. Other than that? I wouldn't expect anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy cheap towels?

They WEREN’T cheap towels, and now they are basically bleached in places- I agree that again, they were the wrong towels to use for guests.

I’m just surprised because, if I had been in the situation, I would have:
1) known my kids use a topical thing that destroys towels and given my host a heads up OR
2) seen the damage and offered to buy new towels

It’s not a huge deal, I’m just surprised that the consensus is so different than how I personally would have handled the situation. idk. My baby threw up in my IL’s car and we offered to have it detailed- I would just assume it’s a common courtesy to at least apologize for leaving something worse off than when you came

Are these heirloom towels or something? It’s a towel. Agree they probably use white at home so they did not know or notice.

And you would really have said yes if they offered to replace them? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Towels are supposed to be used and replaced. You use the towels from your wedding. Why are you saving them for guests?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Towels are supposed to be used and replaced. You use the towels from your wedding. Why are you saving them for guests?

+1. I can understand wanting to give your best items to guests. We do that in our family as well. However, we also understand that guests may ruin things, and we would never ask them to replace them. If you can’t give your guests your best things, then don’t. Use them yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, OP, what are you going for here? Do you want the Guest Etiquette Police to come to their house and issue a citation for forgetting to say “oh my gosh, can we replace these towels?”

Or is the truth that you just relish the feeling of victimhood and superiority and you’re going to rehash this stupid towel thing with your poor husband and several friends to drag it out?

Which is the greater sin? To most of us, policing other people’s behavior in this way (even if only in your head) is far worse than messing up the towels.

For all you know, the parents told the teens to apologize and offer to replace the towels but they didn’t because they’re dumb teens.

This. You’re better than your guests. There, does that make you feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they noticed, they should’ve offered to replace them. I’m guessing they didn’t notice and didn’t realize in advance this would happen.

How are the guests to know these are expensive towels? I would be very embarrassed as a host if someone fell compelled to reimburse me for something they accidentally damaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t buy cheap towels?

They WEREN’T cheap towels, and now they are basically bleached in places- I agree that again, they were the wrong towels to use for guests.

I’m just surprised because, if I had been in the situation, I would have:
1) known my kids use a topical thing that destroys towels and given my host a heads up OR
2) seen the damage and offered to buy new towels

It’s not a huge deal, I’m just surprised that the consensus is so different than how I personally would have handled the situation. idk. My baby threw up in my IL’s car and we offered to have it detailed- I would just assume it’s a common courtesy to at least apologize for leaving something worse off than when you came

And there’s your problem right there: You’re assuming that the parents looked at the towels and made a decision to say nothing. You have no idea if they’re EVEN AWARE that this happened to the towels. Instead you’re wasting all this time creating a narrative in your head that they did know and are heathens and that you’re just so much better than them.
This isn’t a good look for you, OP.

[Anonymous]

I would never, in a gazillion years, ask a host for a different set of towels. THAT seems like incredibly rude behavior to me. How do I know that the host has other clean towels available? Why would I want to make the host feel like what she provided isn't sufficient?

I'm sure the parents didn't even notice the towels - it's not like they are inspecting their teens towels after they shower! And *if* the teen noticed... well... they're teens. Sure, the right thing to do would have been to point it out to their parents and then the host, but... teens don't always think things through, and pretty much never give more than a fleeting tought to towels.