DH received a suspicious text from a woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, probably unpopular opinion here, but you gotta get into his phone and look. Same thing happened to me (twice, sadly) and I let it go until I didn’t, looked, and saw the truth.

This should never be an issue you can read mine I can read yours.

Navigate to "Settings" on your device.
Select "Privacy" from the drop-down menu.
Select "Location Services."
Choose "System Services" which is at the bottom.
Select "Frequent Locations" or "Significant Locations" and you will see your location history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not let it go. No one just texts random selfies out into the abyss for no reason. I'm sorry.

Not always true. An ex of mine sends me songs about 6x/year. I don't really mind, but I ignore it.

What kind of songs? Love songs meant to be about you or your prior relationship?

[Anonymous]

you are a fool if you believe your DH's answer

- guy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, probably unpopular opinion here, but you gotta get into his phone and look. Same thing happened to me (twice, sadly) and I let it go until I didn’t, looked, and saw the truth.

This should never be an issue you can read mine I can read yours.

Navigate to "Settings" on your device.
Select "Privacy" from the drop-down menu.
Select "Location Services."
Choose "System Services" which is at the bottom.
Select "Frequent Locations" or "Significant Locations" and you will see your location history.

op: I'd have to get onto his phone to see that right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you are a fool if you believe your DH's answer

- guy

op: appreciate your opinion. What do you think is happening? DH has weak boundaries with people. I don't think he's cheating but I think he enjoys the attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send back a picture of him and you in your wedding attire’s

ha.

Why wouldn't he block her if he never responds? I would be suspicious, too.

op: I asked him why he didn't block her. He said he just chooses to ignore her and everyone else he doesn't pay attention to. I find it odd that a woman would send an unsolicited selfie to someone who never responds.

That's because it is odd. I'd be very suspicious if I were you.

+1 how do you know he's not responding? Have you looked at the text history? But even then, there are apps where they text history deletes automatically.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PP that you should ask him to see his phone and texts with her. Marriage is about trust - if he’s innocent, he shouldn’t have an issue Proving it to you to maintain and continue to build that trust.

[Anonymous]

Is she good looking? If yes, be concerned. If she is a fat pig, carry on.

[Anonymous]

OP even if he “just enjoys the attention”, it still feels icky right? If so, he shouldn’t be doing it.

With regards to looking in his phone, that’s icky too, but I’d probably still do it. Gotta look out for myself. Just keep an eye on him typing in his passcode. You’ll see it one of these times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying she's crazy is a red flag.

Oh boy, THIS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying she's crazy is a red flag.

+1.

“Dismissing” her by calling her crazy is giving definitely slept together before at some point, too.

Or she could be crazy and he is managing the level of craziness. I had a crazy that would do this. If you block them they find another way and another way to reach out.

The text come in I delete. If I blocked the path they would show up, call work, spam my LinkedIn.

Sometimes managing crazy is the easiest way to deal with crazy.

[Anonymous]

Oh and don’t forget you can find deleted texts. Go to messages, click ‘edit’ in the top left, then ‘show recently deleted.’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I've had friends like this. As long as the photos are not naked and he's not having deep conversations with her, who cares. He's allowed to have frienships with females I assume.

Look at actions, not words. Is he tuning out at dinner so he can text this friend back and forth. That's the time to get worried.

friendships with her is fine, but why would "just a friend" be sending pix of them dressed up in the bathroom repeatedly if he never responds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is she good looking? If yes, be concerned. If she is a fat pig, carry on.

op: she's thin and somewhat attractive....sooo thirsty in her photos

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married for one year, and dated for a year before marriage. He received a text message with a selfie from a woman late Friday night. I asked him about since I saw it pop up on his phone, and he said it was someone he dated right before we got together, and she occasionally reaches out via text and he never responds. He said she's "crazy". I looked her up on Instagram and it looks like she's a local single mom around our age and often posting pics of her posing in various outfits.

How would you handle? Would you let it go? I don't have his phone password, for what it's worth.

Why don't you have his password? That's strange.