DH received a suspicious text from a woman

[Anonymous]

DH and I have been married for one year, and dated for a year before marriage. He received a text message with a selfie from a woman late Friday night. I asked him about since I saw it pop up on his phone, and he said it was someone he dated right before we got together, and she occasionally reaches out via text and he never responds. He said she's "crazy". I looked her up on Instagram and it looks like she's a local single mom around our age and often posting pics of her posing in various outfits.

How would you handle? Would you let it go? I don't have his phone password, for what it's worth.

[Anonymous]

Send back a picture of him and you in your wedding attire’s

[Anonymous]

I would not let it go. No one just texts random selfies out into the abyss for no reason. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send back a picture of him and you in your wedding attire’s

ha.

Why wouldn't he block her if he never responds? I would be suspicious, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let it go. No one just texts random selfies out into the abyss for no reason. I'm sorry.

This. Even if your DH is innocent and he may be, this woman cannot be trusted. I would make him block her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send back a picture of him and you in your wedding attire’s

ha.

Why wouldn't he block her if he never responds? I would be suspicious, too.

op: I asked him why he didn't block her. He said he just chooses to ignore her and everyone else he doesn't pay attention to. I find it odd that a woman would send an unsolicited selfie to someone who never responds.

[Anonymous]

Man here. I've had friends like this. As long as the photos are not naked and he's not having deep conversations with her, who cares. He's allowed to have frienships with females I assume.

Look at actions, not words. Is he tuning out at dinner so he can text this friend back and forth. That's the time to get worried.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send back a picture of him and you in your wedding attire’s

ha.

Why wouldn't he block her if he never responds? I would be suspicious, too.

op: I asked him why he didn't block her. He said he just chooses to ignore her and everyone else he doesn't pay attention to. I find it odd that a woman would send an unsolicited selfie to someone who never responds.

That's because it is odd. I'd be very suspicious if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Saying she's crazy is a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. I've had friends like this. As long as the photos are not naked and he's not having deep conversations with her, who cares. He's allowed to have frienships with females I assume.

Look at actions, not words. Is he tuning out at dinner so he can text this friend back and forth. That's the time to get worried.

op: The photo was of her in a bathroom mirror dressed up.

[Anonymous]

OP, probably unpopular opinion here, but you gotta get into his phone and look. Same thing happened to me (twice, sadly) and I let it go until I didn’t, looked, and saw the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying she's crazy is a red flag.

+1.

“Dismissing” her by calling her crazy is giving definitely slept together before at some point, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, probably unpopular opinion here, but you gotta get into his phone and look. Same thing happened to me (twice, sadly) and I let it go until I didn’t, looked, and saw the truth.

op: oh no, what did you find? Not sure how I get into his phone since I don't have his password. Do you think I should just ask him to let me see the text thread with her? I will say, he is always home so I can't imagine when he'd see her, unless at work or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying she's crazy is a red flag.

+1.

“Dismissing” her by calling her crazy is giving definitely slept together before at some point, too.

op: yes, they did sleep together in the past. They went on a few dates and had sex at some point right before we met.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not let it go. No one just texts random selfies out into the abyss for no reason. I'm sorry.

Not always true. An ex of mine sends me songs about 6x/year. I don't really mind, but I ignore it.