Forgiveness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In Judaism, we have a whole season for forgiveness! Throughout the year, you are supposed to do teshuva (repentance) and ask forgiveness from those you have wronged. Ideally, you do this in the moment, or as soon as you can. But sometimes we procrastinate, so between Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Repentance; the holiest day in the Jewish year) we have a 10-day period known as the Days of Awe. You are supposed use those days to reach out to the people from whom you seek forgiveness. You apologize sincerely to them and hope they accept (they might not, and that's ok, but you need to make the effort). Only then can you go before God and ask God's forgiveness.

I like the intentionality of this approach.

Does seeking forgiveness extend to people outside your faith tradition or mainly within your tradition

I mean, I'm Jewish, and I wouldn't tell to my Christian neighbor, "Rosh Hashanah is next week, do you forgive me for anything I may have done to you over the past year?"

My neighbors would think I'm crazy.

Plenty of Jews make apologies to their non-Jewish friends/neighbors/coworkers. It doesn't have to be explained as a Rosh Hashanah thing, if you think that would make it weird. Just an apology for specific wrongs. Usually it's easier to just do these apologies in the moment, so that you're not apologizing out of the blue without context for something you did months earlier.

[Anonymous]

In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

I don't think of apologies as a religious thing. It's more like common courtesy. Decent people should apologize when they've done something wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

I don't think of apologies as a religious thing. It's more like common courtesy. Decent people should apologize when they've done something wrong.

+1

I am not religious but I think of this in terms of capacity to take responsibility. Until I am able to take responsibility for a harm I caused ("this is my fault") I am not really sorry, and have not opened myself to forgiveness.

I know some people choose to forgive without this, and that is their right of course (I think they do it to be able to move on themselves) but if I want forgiveness, I have to be able to truly take responsibility.

I think being able to say "This is my fault, I messed up and it harmed others" is a form of vulnerability, and it's the door through which forgiveness might come. But until you open the door, there can be no true forgiveness, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

In addition to apologizing to the individuals we've wronged and then praying for forgiveness from God, we also fast on Yom Kippur. The prayers on Yom Kippur are a mix of individual ("I lied, I betrayed) and communal ("we spread malicious gossip, we acted unjustly") and everyone says them all, regardless of whether you committed that particular sin in the past year, because we harm people purposely and by accident, knowingly and unknowingly, and we ask forgiveness for ourselves as individuals and for our community.

What kind of "program" would you find meaningful?

[Anonymous]

Religions preach forgiveness because it actually helps the wronged party (in addition to promoting overall social peace). When you forgive, you’re freeing yourself from carrying around pain and anger.

Keeping hurt alive will eventually harm you more than it will harm the offender. It’s like picking at a wound so that it never heals and you’re constantly re-igniting the pain.

For wrongs you’ve done, accepting forgiveness is as important as forgiving. You can’t grow and develop into a better person if you’re constantly re-living your mistakes. Again, it’s like re-opening a wound instead of letting new skin form.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

I understand why you think this about Protestant churches. Some people act like you can just be “forgiven by god” and get away with your crimes. But that’s a bad interpretation and not what the religion teaches.

Yes, in Christianity god can make you spiritually forgiven. But you still have to live a life in Christ. Which means making peace with all around you, ie seeking to make restitution and earn true forgiveness on earth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

I don't think of apologies as a religious thing. It's more like common courtesy. Decent people should apologize when they've done something wrong.

+1

I am not religious but I think of this in terms of capacity to take responsibility. Until I am able to take responsibility for a harm I caused ("this is my fault") I am not really sorry, and have not opened myself to forgiveness.

I know some people choose to forgive without this, and that is their right of course (I think they do it to be able to move on themselves) but if I want forgiveness, I have to be able to truly take responsibility.

I think being able to say "This is my fault, I messed up and it harmed others" is a form of vulnerability, and it's the door through which forgiveness might come. But until you open the door, there can be no true forgiveness, in my opinion.

OP - Respectfully, this is a religion forum, and I specifically asked what different faith traditions teach about forgiveness and how people of faith both make amends for wrong doing/ offending others and forgiving others.

I believe that offering and accepting forgiveness is deeply spiritual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am pretty sure we have been wronged in some ways and also wronged others in some ways.

What does your faith tradition teach you about forgiveness? What steps do you take to find forgiveness (if any?)

How important do you think practicing forgiveness is to your faith (or lack thereof for others such as secular humanists)?

When I was Catholic, forgiveness was something a priest conveyed in the confessional.

Now as an atheist, it's more personal and more real - it would happen person to person. But truly, I haven't felt the need to seek or ask for forgivness. Saying I'm sorry, sure, but that seems different - less consequential.

That is a narrow view of forgiveness in Catholicism. We are called to forgive each other and to give justice where we have wronged others. Forgiveness doesn’t mean lack of consequences.

The sacrament of reconciliation is to relieve the sinner of the burden of sin that keeps you from God, but that too requires repentance and penance.

https://www.catholicvoices.org.uk/blog/does-forgiveness-mean-the-other-person-gets-away-with-it?format=amp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the jewish religion is there some sort of cleansing and restitution program? The issue I have with protestant churches in particular is that you just say sorry to God or even to others and kind of move on without change in a lot of them.

I don't think of apologies as a religious thing. It's more like common courtesy. Decent people should apologize when they've done something wrong.

+1

I am not religious but I think of this in terms of capacity to take responsibility. Until I am able to take responsibility for a harm I caused ("this is my fault") I am not really sorry, and have not opened myself to forgiveness.

I know some people choose to forgive without this, and that is their right of course (I think they do it to be able to move on themselves) but if I want forgiveness, I have to be able to truly take responsibility.

I think being able to say "This is my fault, I messed up and it harmed others" is a form of vulnerability, and it's the door through which forgiveness might come. But until you open the door, there can be no true forgiveness, in my opinion.

OP - Respectfully, this is a religion forum, and I specifically asked what different faith traditions teach about forgiveness and how people of faith both make amends for wrong doing/ offending others and forgiving others.

I believe that offering and accepting forgiveness is deeply spiritual.

Respectfully, I am not non-religious pp, but want to say, that this is a public forum where anyone can participate. As an atheist, I believe that the concept of offering and accepting forgiveness is very human and not limited to what others would call "spiritual".

[Anonymous]

I just checked the original post and see that OP did specifically invite responses from people without religious faith:

"How important do you think practicing forgiveness is to your faith (or lack thereof for others such as secular humanists)?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just checked the original post and see that OP did specifically invite responses from people without religious faith:

"How important do you think practicing forgiveness is to your faith (or lack thereof for others such as secular humanists)?"

OP - ok point taken. Thanks for correcting me.

I was hoping to hear about faith from different religious teachings but you are right that all views were solicited.

In fact, upon reflection if this is an area where atheists and people of faith agree, then perhaps we ought to pay more attention to it. Forgiveness is probably not only important for mental health since none of us are perfect but also for healing our fractious society. It is often not easy and of course we need healthy boundaries as well.

The concept and practice of Forgiveness is certainly central to my faith tradition.

From https://www.archspm.org/faith-and-discipleship/catholic-faith/what-did-jesus-teach-about-forgiveness/#:~:text=Jesus%20taught%2C%20“If%20you%20forgive,that%20we%20ought%20to%20forgive.


Jesus often spoke about forgiveness, he forgave those who sinned against others, forgave those who sinned against him, and asked the Church to continue his healing ministry. Jesus taught, “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you” (Mt 6:14). Peter asked Jesus how often it is necessary to forgive, and Jesus replied, “Seventy-seven times” (Mt 18:22), a number to be taken symbolically, not literally, for the never-ending way that we ought to forgive.


Jesus liked to use parables to illustrate various aspects of forgiveness. During his conversation with Peter, Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:23-35). Luke’s gospel has a series of five forgiveness parables:  the barren fig tree (Lk 13:6-9); the bent over woman (Lk 13:10-13); the lost sheep (Lk 15:4-7); the lost coin (Lk15:8-10); and the greatest forgiveness parable of all, the prodigal son (Lk 15:11-32).


“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just checked the original post and see that OP did specifically invite responses from people without religious faith:

"How important do you think practicing forgiveness is to your faith (or lack thereof for others such as secular humanists)?"

OP - ok point taken. Thanks for correcting me.

I was hoping to hear about faith from different religious teachings but you are right that all views were solicited.

In fact, upon reflection if this is an area where atheists and people of faith agree, then perhaps we ought to pay more attention to it. Forgiveness is probably not only important for mental health since none of us are perfect but also for healing our fractious society. It is often not easy and of course we need healthy boundaries as well.

The concept and practice of Forgiveness is certainly central to my faith tradition.

From https://www.archspm.org/faith-and-discipleship/catholic-faith/what-did-jesus-teach-about-forgiveness/#:~:text=Jesus%20taught%2C%20“If%20you%20forgive,that%20we%20ought%20to%20forgive.


Jesus often spoke about forgiveness, he forgave those who sinned against others, forgave those who sinned against him, and asked the Church to continue his healing ministry. Jesus taught, “If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you” (Mt 6:14). Peter asked Jesus how often it is necessary to forgive, and Jesus replied, “Seventy-seven times” (Mt 18:22), a number to be taken symbolically, not literally, for the never-ending way that we ought to forgive.


Jesus liked to use parables to illustrate various aspects of forgiveness. During his conversation with Peter, Jesus told the parable of the unforgiving servant (Mt 18:23-35). Luke’s gospel has a series of five forgiveness parables:  the barren fig tree (Lk 13:6-9); the bent over woman (Lk 13:10-13); the lost sheep (Lk 15:4-7); the lost coin (Lk15:8-10); and the greatest forgiveness parable of all, the prodigal son (Lk 15:11-32).


“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32

Largest-Ever Study on Forgiveness Shows Decreased Anxiety and Depression
By Templeton Staff
April 20, 2023

April 20, 2023 - A team of international researchers are sharing today a new study that illustrates the power of forgiveness in decreasing anxiety and depression and improving overall well-being. The study represents the largest exploration of forgiveness science to date and is a topic of discussion at “Forgiveness: Interdisciplinary Perspectives,” a conference that continues into the weekend at Harvard University.
“Over the past 20 years, investment and research into the power of forgiveness has accelerated. The resulting science sends a clear message that forgiveness works. It has a significant impact on mental health, physical health, and on our relationships to one another at the interpersonal and even societal levels,” said Andrew Serazin, president of Templeton World Charity Foundation (TWCF), which funded the research and is co-sponsoring the conference. “At a time when our world feels more polarized and fractured than ever, it is critical that we amplify this research and share the practical, accessible tools that make forgiveness possible for more people.”

https://www.templetonworldcharity.org/blog/REACH-forgiveness-study




Would have loved to have attended this recent conference-

Forgiveness: Interdisciplinary Perspectives (April 20-22, 2023)
        

"To err is human, to forgive, divine”; but what is forgiveness? When can it rightly be sought or offered? Can it be corporate as well as an individual? What role should forgiveness play in law, public policy, or even public health? How can we become more forgiving?

The upcoming conference, “Forgiveness: Interdisciplinary Perspectives” (April 21-22, 2023), co-hosted by Harvard’s Memorial Church and the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard’s Institute for Quantitative Social Science, will take up these important questions by bringing together eminent scholars and practitioners from philosophy, theology, psychology, law, peace studies, and public health

[Anonymous]

Ted Lasso has taught us all a valuable lesson on the power of forgiveness!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ted Lasso has taught us all a valuable lesson on the power of forgiveness!

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Is this the theme of season 3? I must renew my apple subscription to watch it!