Do you call your MIL for Mothers Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call my MIL and Mom. I also send greetings to all friends, neighbors, aunts, nieces who are moms - a generic "Happy Mothers Day to all lovely Moms that I know" kind of greeting on social media, text or group chat.

I send flowers or a text to some of my close friends and relatives who have lost a mom in past few years. And I add a sentence to mention their mom too.

Love this

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

No, she’s not my mom. Her son calls her. I call my mom.

[Anonymous]

Yes, when she was alive, I always called her at least once a week, usually a few times a week. Always on her birthday, mothers day and other special days. She'd call me too.

[Anonymous]

No, that wouldn’t make for a relaxing day for me. I enjoy my day, and I call my mom. If my MIL could be satisfied with a 5-minute chat, I might. But she whines about short phone calls and wants long FT calls. Nope, gonna enjoy my day while DH deals with her.

[Anonymous]

No and she doesn’t call me. We love each other, but we don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Asking because, it randomly occurred to me with Mothers Day approaching, we happened to spend last Mothers Day with my in-laws. They are not local. My spouse has a few siblings, none of us are local to their parents. Toward the end of the day, in-laws looked at each other and said, well the only one we didn’t hear from today is Jim (their daughter’s husband). They did hear fr their actual daughter, Jim’s wife. Then there were several minutes spent criticizing how Jim couldn’t be bothered to take the time to call. (No pre-existing tension with Jim that I know of - this simply seemed like they were feeling dissed that he didn’t call). I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying “you’re not Jim’s mom!”

Anyway this got me to thinking - I myself have never made a one-on-one Mother’s Day greeting call to MIL. I think usually I’m within earshot when DH calls his mom that day and I’ll of course pop on to say happy Mother’s Day. Last year’s incident with Jim makes me conscious - apparently it’s expected that I make a call on my own if I don’t happen to be on with DH?! What’s the norm in your family?

Also: when I’m part of the older generation, I hope I am not score keeping like this. It’s a little crazy!

No, I don't. I remind my DH "did you send your mom and step mom (who is like a mom) a Mother's Day card?" and that is all.

How strange of the parents to take note of the non-call, esp. since their ACTUAL daughter called?

[Anonymous]

This is my first year as a MIL. I do not expect a call from my DIL, she has a mother and her dad has remarried.

[Anonymous]

I don't. If I'm there when DH calls I will say hi, Happy Mother's Day but I don't call separately. And same with my Mom, if DH is there he'll pop up and say hi but if he's elsewhere I'll just talk to her myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I call my MIL and Mom. I also send greetings to all friends, neighbors, aunts, nieces who are moms - a generic "Happy Mothers Day to all lovely Moms that I know" kind of greeting on social media, text or group chat.

I send flowers or a text to some of my close friends and relatives who have lost a mom in past few years. And I add a sentence to mention their mom too.

This is nice. I never know what to say to people who have lost moms or dads. Everything I think of is even worse than saying nothing. "Thinking of you because I know that this day is hard for you." oof.

[Anonymous]

I feel like MILs who have sons are more demanding than the daughter's moms. I can't imagine my mom caring at all whether DH talks to her. And I don't think the thought crosses DH's mind either, unless he sees my mom in person and then of course he'd wish her a happy mothers day.

And never once in 15 years has dh bought a present for my mom, but I'm sure all MILs think their DILs should buy presents.

[Anonymous]

DH and the kids and I will Facetime her. Together. As a unit.

[Anonymous]

We usually call (my MIL has passed, but my mother is still alive) both mothers together. The child-in-law wishes mother HMD at the beginning and then hangs around briefly for the exchanging of news and then leaves. Often same for grandkids, they stay on the line for the exchange of news and then the child talks with their mother for a little while longer.

So, yes, until she passed, I spoke with my MIL every MD, usually briefly. My wife still follows the same pattern. She is there for the beginning of the call with the kids, then they go about their business and I chat for a while longer with my mother.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s my day to relax. DH handles his mom. I call my mom but lucky for me she’s perfectly fine with a very quick call, so it’s not a chore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I call my MIL and Mom. I also send greetings to all friends, neighbors, aunts, nieces who are moms - a generic "Happy Mothers Day to all lovely Moms that I know" kind of greeting on social media, text or group chat.

I send flowers or a text to some of my close friends and relatives who have lost a mom in past few years. And I add a sentence to mention their mom too.

This is nice. I never know what to say to people who have lost moms or dads. Everything I think of is even worse than saying nothing. "Thinking of you because I know that this day is hard for you." oof.

If you knew their mom/dad, I like to say something along the lines of, "Thinking of your mom today, and missing silly laugh." Anything is better than nothing, especially if you know your friend/cousin is really missing their parent.