Do you call your MIL for Mothers Day

[Anonymous]

Asking because, it randomly occurred to me with Mothers Day approaching, we happened to spend last Mothers Day with my in-laws. They are not local. My spouse has a few siblings, none of us are local to their parents. Toward the end of the day, in-laws looked at each other and said, well the only one we didn’t hear from today is Jim (their daughter’s husband). They did hear fr their actual daughter, Jim’s wife. Then there were several minutes spent criticizing how Jim couldn’t be bothered to take the time to call. (No pre-existing tension with Jim that I know of - this simply seemed like they were feeling dissed that he didn’t call). I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying “you’re not Jim’s mom!”

Anyway this got me to thinking - I myself have never made a one-on-one Mother’s Day greeting call to MIL. I think usually I’m within earshot when DH calls his mom that day and I’ll of course pop on to say happy Mother’s Day. Last year’s incident with Jim makes me conscious - apparently it’s expected that I make a call on my own if I don’t happen to be on with DH?! What’s the norm in your family?

Also: when I’m part of the older generation, I hope I am not score keeping like this. It’s a little crazy!

[Anonymous]

No. Am I supposed to?

[Anonymous]

No. Your ILs are weird with their expectations.

I do a lot for my ILs. I buy all her BD and Christmas presents, plus gifts throughout the year that I think she might find useful or like. But MD is where I drop the rope. That's on DH.

[Anonymous]

At a minimum, I would text. As I do for my ex-husband's mother and grandmother and even the ex-MIL of my ex-boyfriend lol These are wonderful people that held an appreciated place in my life, so wishing them a Happy Mother's Day is an easy thing to do. BUT none would hold it against me if I didn't. All of y'all sounds petty.

[Anonymous]

No. Why would I? That is not my mother.

[Anonymous]

No. We each do a call with other own mothers with our kids. I might say hi in the background, but no one expects to hear from me.

[Anonymous]

Yes, if I'm not with DH when he calls. Not my mom, but a mother figure. She has also called me. It's...what...5 minutes?


I would also call a grandma if I had one living. I've called SILs before, though not always, and we all send Happy MIL emails.

[Anonymous]

If we are not going to see my MIL I make sure that we send 3 cards: 1 from her son, one from me and one from the grandkids. Sure it is a tad ridiculous but she has been a great MIL and little things like this bring her joy as she gets older and her family has moved away.

[Anonymous]

I call my MIL and Mom. I also send greetings to all friends, neighbors, aunts, nieces who are moms - a generic "Happy Mothers Day to all lovely Moms that I know" kind of greeting on social media, text or group chat.

I send flowers or a text to some of my close friends and relatives who have lost a mom in past few years. And I add a sentence to mention their mom too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe if I liked her?

[Anonymous]

No, and I don’t remind DH either. A few times his dad called to remind him and I erased the voicemail.

[Anonymous]

I would if I liked her. In practice, not a chance in hell.

[Anonymous]

No. I've tried to have a relationship with her and do fun things with her during the day when the kids are in school when she has visited the area (they never stay with us) but she always declines. She also spouts racist and homophobic remarks. I'm over it.

[Anonymous]

Better question is "Does she call you?!"

Don't these moms realize how LUCKY they are to get grandchildren? They should be passing the baton on mothers day just because they basically hit the jackpot. So many mothers never get grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Yes, or she calls me. Or requests to talk to me when my husband calls her. It's common curtesy. We've had our tiffs, and aren't that close, but it costs us nothing to be kind.