Need URGENT help - Have seriously mentally ill young adult child

[Anonymous]

I’ve heard of people taking their adult child to Florida to get child involuntary admitted to a mental hospital under the Baker Act. I think you need to consult a Florida lawyer, bug it can be done.

[Anonymous]

*but it can

[Anonymous]

Florida also has Marchman Act for involuntary substance abuse treatment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all it's a disease, don't blame your child and who cares what their GPA was or is. stop with expectations. Recovery is possible but you also have to change. with that said this sounds just like one of our kids. Is there substance abuse? It sure sounds like it especially with the
psychosis. They need to want to get better and you have to have strong boundaries and not enable which is extremely difficult because you don't want to see a child go through this.

Seeing they are over 18 your options are limited and they will drain you of yourself without the boundaries.

Seek help for yourself if they are not going to get help, heck, even if they do get help, get some for yourself. therapy is a good things and don't shame this situation.

I am typing this fast and lacking sleep for days together. So I am not eloquent and may have miscommunicated. I do not care about the GPA or blame DC for the disease. I am just feeling hopeless with the lack of support system for seriously mentally unwell AC who are expected to decide about their own healthcare. Mental sick patients lack the capacity to make self-preserving decision and yet out healthcare burdens them with the decision! How do parents let kids wither away?

I am attending NAMI classes and trying to educate myself fast. Yet I find this whole situation lacking solution. Is there any experienced parents who know any other way than letting adult mentally ill child languish?

They don't. But their hands are tied. My brother had schizophrenia w/ hallucinations and manic depression. I went through his phone after he flew off his high rise balcony to his death and found VERY disturbing things. Sigh. We tried but it was in one hospital and out in a week. In another and out in 2 weeks. He would not take the meds as he thought the demons in them were trying to control his brain. The things he typed maniacally for 3 days and nights straight were mind-blowing and straight up pulp fiction. I tried to get private help but he would not consent. He was so sweet a soul and so very intelligent but once them ind goes, it is hard. I joined NAMI and Suicide Awareness groups and realized the best "survivors" were in a residential facility as a teen (16/17) and learned coping skills, med regulation, and strategies for getting a job, keeping a job, forming healthy relationships and coping with stress. If you can get him to ever consent to a residential facility, take him immediately. I am so very sorry you are going through this. Mental illness has shredded my family up.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP.

My husband is diagnosed schizoaffective. His mother hospitalized him involuntarily in 2001 when he was 19. He is 41 now. I've heard that the condition chills out with age and that seems true in DH's case. He lives a generally normal and peaceful life, even if more intense than most people. Definitely now DH is in the realm of eccentric rather than out of control. Your DC is not doomed to a terrible, chaotic existence. That said, I wanted to share some from DH's experience that may be useful to you:

- The involuntary hospitalizations can be an extremely traumatic experience. Many people argue that this cure is worse than the disease. True for my DH. I would suggest you tread lightly here. For many, many people the harm from hospitalizations/psychiatry has been severe. You'd dowell to consider their experiences. See "Inner Compass Initiative" and Mad in America for in depth on this. Not that you must agree with them, but they are also speaking from very much experience and are worth listening for more informed decisions.

-DH says that when his symptoms are acting up, oftentimes these are distress signals that are drawing attention to some underlying physical condition. For example, when without symptoms, he loves coffee. With symptoms, he gets bad indigestion from coffee, among other physical changes at time of a mental flare up. This mind/body connection may be worth looking into for your DC.

- People with a mental illness are far more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators. Along this line but less obvious is that when a person has a diagnosis like schizoaffective, it's too easy for family to treat them like second class citizens, to dismiss their concerns, that their hostility or disagreeableness is a symptom of disease rather than a legitimate reaction to hard circumstances. Probably in most cases, this will make the interactions far worse. Try your best to hear your child and to understand them.

- Do not underestimate the impact of your actions on your child's reactions and behaviors, try not to confuse their dismiss their real, legitimate frustration as symptoms that must be numbed and silenced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP.

My husband is diagnosed schizoaffective. His mother hospitalized him involuntarily in 2001 when he was 19. He is 41 now. I've heard that the condition chills out with age and that seems true in DH's case. He lives a generally normal and peaceful life, even if more intense than most people. Definitely now DH is in the realm of eccentric rather than out of control. Your DC is not doomed to a terrible, chaotic existence. That said, I wanted to share some from DH's experience that may be useful to you:

- The involuntary hospitalizations can be an extremely traumatic experience. Many people argue that this cure is worse than the disease. True for my DH. I would suggest you tread lightly here. For many, many people the harm from hospitalizations/psychiatry has been severe. You'd dowell to consider their experiences. See "Inner Compass Initiative" and Mad in America for in depth on this. Not that you must agree with them, but they are also speaking from very much experience and are worth listening for more informed decisions.

-DH says that when his symptoms are acting up, oftentimes these are distress signals that are drawing attention to some underlying physical condition. For example, when without symptoms, he loves coffee. With symptoms, he gets bad indigestion from coffee, among other physical changes at time of a mental flare up. This mind/body connection may be worth looking into for your DC.

- People with a mental illness are far more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators. Along this line but less obvious is that when a person has a diagnosis like schizoaffective, it's too easy for family to treat them like second class citizens, to dismiss their concerns, that their hostility or disagreeableness is a symptom of disease rather than a legitimate reaction to hard circumstances. Probably in most cases, this will make the interactions far worse. Try your best to hear your child and to understand them.

- Do not underestimate the impact of your actions on your child's reactions and behaviors, try not to confuse their dismiss their real, legitimate frustration as symptoms that must be numbed and silenced.

PP here - to clarify: I meant to say that the person may be acting out in response to legitimate, valid concerns that should be considered. Do not let their unreasonable behavior distract you from the fact that they may be trying to communicate something valid. It could burn bridges with a person to dismiss all their badly communicated but valid concerns as "you're sick, take your meds."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP.

My husband is diagnosed schizoaffective. His mother hospitalized him involuntarily in 2001 when he was 19. He is 41 now. I've heard that the condition chills out with age and that seems true in DH's case. He lives a generally normal and peaceful life, even if more intense than most people. Definitely now DH is in the realm of eccentric rather than out of control. Your DC is not doomed to a terrible, chaotic existence. That said, I wanted to share some from DH's experience that may be useful to you:

- The involuntary hospitalizations can be an extremely traumatic experience. Many people argue that this cure is worse than the disease. True for my DH. I would suggest you tread lightly here. For many, many people the harm from hospitalizations/psychiatry has been severe. You'd dowell to consider their experiences. See "Inner Compass Initiative" and Mad in America for in depth on this. Not that you must agree with them, but they are also speaking from very much experience and are worth listening for more informed decisions.

-DH says that when his symptoms are acting up, oftentimes these are distress signals that are drawing attention to some underlying physical condition. For example, when without symptoms, he loves coffee. With symptoms, he gets bad indigestion from coffee, among other physical changes at time of a mental flare up. This mind/body connection may be worth looking into for your DC.

- People with a mental illness are far more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators. Along this line but less obvious is that when a person has a diagnosis like schizoaffective, it's too easy for family to treat them like second class citizens, to dismiss their concerns, that their hostility or disagreeableness is a symptom of disease rather than a legitimate reaction to hard circumstances. Probably in most cases, this will make the interactions far worse. Try your best to hear your child and to understand them.

- Do not underestimate the impact of your actions on your child's reactions and behaviors, try not to confuse their dismiss their real, legitimate frustration as symptoms that must be numbed and silenced.

Every time I despair about DCUM, a poster like this comes along with compassionate, real-world advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Virginia the local CSBs offer the “gold standard” schizophrenia care—but are understaffed and my local one wouldn’t take my adult kid—because he did not have Medicaid.

If you want legal guardianship I would call the Arc of Nova. They’re organized more for childhood disabilities but have a lot of great lawyers and advice on guardianship. And services are fairly cheap for disability trusts.

I worked for the CSB and have for years advocated and begged that admissions are about severity of illness rather than type of insurance. The CSB is best for severe mental illness because team approach is needed. You can pay thousands out of pocket but a private psychiatrist and private therapist while maybe more invested in your kid do not have the infrastructure needed for best outcomes.
Try to find an advocate so your kid can get into the CSB. Do you live in Fairfax?
Also--please check with your psychiatrist if kid can go on long acting injectable? These give the best outcomes in your situation.
I worry about your kid driving--you may rethink if they should have access to a car.

[Anonymous]

Sister of a now 54 yo schizophrenic brother (and I know he's not his illness just added for context.) I can't say enough good things about CSB once your are in the system, esp if you can get a placement in NoVA. My brother was med compliant for the most part, but not when his living situation was chaotic. Thus the love for the CSB provided ACR. That said couple of other nuts and bolts ideas. Has he/you applied for SSDI or Medicaid? If not please explore that. And if not possible ie not enough work quarters, check into your own health insurance to see what the rules are for keeping him covered.

Not sure any of this is helpful, but please know I am so sorry that your son and you are experiencing this.

[Anonymous]

The CSBs vary in quality, even in NOVA. Some in Virginia are really lousy, unfortunately.

I’m not sure who thinks a typical therapist or psychiatrist can manage schizophrenia. I’m obviously with a “bad” CSB. It’s a specialist area but we’re getting zero help since son not on Medicaid—this will be the case for most first onset adults who are on parents’ health insurance!

I’d say to OP we are having a decent outcome all things considered. Kid can’t do school at all but has a part time job, steady on meds, and lives at home. We all go out and do fun things. He’s still sorting things out. (A structured living system is critical, either at home or residential center.) I think all parties dealing well with the situation.

[Anonymous]

Find out if AC is taking any other drugs besides marijuana. Figure out how to investigate home and body for evidence, with stirring up more tension.

[Anonymous]

Even pot, especially if taken in the form of Delta-8 and/or overused, can cause aggression and paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even pot, especially if taken in the form of Delta-8 and/or overused, can cause aggression and paranoia.

y

Agreed, drug use can cause psychosis. I also think most psych hospitals have unfortunate expertise in telling the two apart. There’s a lot of drug abuse out there. So if OPs child was diagnosed, I’d give the diagnosis a lot of credibility. And many with mental illness are self-medicating with illegal drugs.

Because I’m my kid is stable and doing fairly well, I am not using CSB services. However the kid is backed by strong family support network. But I do find it pathetic that they’re not helping all residents with the severe mental illnesses.

Many homeless people on the street come from loving families who could not cope with the illness and its effects. But local CSB officials want to wait until the mentally ill are in terrible shape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP.

My husband is diagnosed schizoaffective. His mother hospitalized him involuntarily in 2001 when he was 19. He is 41 now. I've heard that the condition chills out with age and that seems true in DH's case. He lives a generally normal and peaceful life, even if more intense than most people. Definitely now DH is in the realm of eccentric rather than out of control. Your DC is not doomed to a terrible, chaotic existence. That said, I wanted to share some from DH's experience that may be useful to you:

- The involuntary hospitalizations can be an extremely traumatic experience. Many people argue that this cure is worse than the disease. True for my DH. I would suggest you tread lightly here. For many, many people the harm from hospitalizations/psychiatry has been severe. You'd dowell to consider their experiences. See "Inner Compass Initiative" and Mad in America for in depth on this. Not that you must agree with them, but they are also speaking from very much experience and are worth listening for more informed decisions.

-DH says that when his symptoms are acting up, oftentimes these are distress signals that are drawing attention to some underlying physical condition. For example, when without symptoms, he loves coffee. With symptoms, he gets bad indigestion from coffee, among other physical changes at time of a mental flare up. This mind/body connection may be worth looking into for your DC.

- People with a mental illness are far more likely to be victims of abuse than perpetrators. Along this line but less obvious is that when a person has a diagnosis like schizoaffective, it's too easy for family to treat them like second class citizens, to dismiss their concerns, that their hostility or disagreeableness is a symptom of disease rather than a legitimate reaction to hard circumstances. Probably in most cases, this will make the interactions far worse. Try your best to hear your child and to understand them.

- Do not underestimate the impact of your actions on your child's reactions and behaviors, try not to confuse their dismiss their real, legitimate frustration as symptoms that must be numbed and silenced.

But PP, was your husband having psychosis? I think that’s a different beast

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Even pot, especially if taken in the form of Delta-8 and/or overused, can cause aggression and paranoia.

y

Agreed, drug use can cause psychosis. I also think most psych hospitals have unfortunate expertise in telling the two apart. There’s a lot of drug abuse out there. So if OPs child was diagnosed, I’d give the diagnosis a lot of credibility. And many with mental illness are self-medicating with illegal drugs.

Because I’m my kid is stable and doing fairly well, I am not using CSB services. However the kid is backed by strong family support network. But I do find it pathetic that they’re not helping all residents with the severe mental illnesses.

Many homeless people on the street come from loving families who could not cope with the illness and its effects. But local CSB officials want to wait until the mentally ill are in terrible shape.

Delta-8 isn't even illegal, you can get it at your local vape store. But it's known to cause psychosis with heavy use, which is typical of people who are self-medicating. This is another reason OP needs to take the car away.