Need URGENT help - Have seriously mentally ill young adult child

[Anonymous]

My DC is empathetic, smart, and well educated. That is when DC is affected by the serious mental illness. DC was identified with MDD when DC was in high school junior. Took medication for a while, also went through therapy for several months. Stopped taking medication when DC finished high school.

Went to college on full ride scholarship. Had mental breakdown towards the end first year and crashed the GPA to 2.4. Decided to stay in college and finish education with college health care center support. Started medication and therapy in college. Worked hard, finished college 6 months early with a CGPA of 3.6. Stopped medication towards the end of college and started self-medicating with marijuana. When DC graduated, it was in the middle of COVID. Could not find a job right away and could not decide what to do. Started doing part time jobs and did not suck around due to mood disregulation. Found other people who were experimenting with other drugs and tried few.

At the end of 2021, DC experienced psychosis and was involuntary admitted to hospital for attacking family members. Hospital diagnosed it to be schizoaffective disorder and released DC in a week after just stabilizing DC barely, without any medicine compliance. Was admitted involuntarily back to the same hospital within 2 days of release for having another psychotic episode. This time under pressure from family members and coercion by the social work DC agreed to be medicine compliant. The medicine prescribed seemed way too much making DC feel like Zombie. DC stayed on medication for 6 months and finally stopped medication mid of 2022. Started smoking marijuana again a little by little, and DC’s mood swing started again towards end of 2022. Went back be being extremely unpleasant and aggressive gradually. End on March DC admitted voluntarily to hospital suspecting drug overdose. Turned out that it was hallucination and was kept in hospital involuntarily for a week. DC refused medication and was released a week later. Was aggressive to family members again in 2 days and involuntarily admitted to hospital for the 4th time. This time the situation was so bad that DC was scheduled for mental court hearing 1 and ½ week from the day of admittance, for long term hospitalization. Within the 1 and ½ weeks DC fought with hospital staff several times and was sedated at least 3 times. DC met with the public defender and on his advice agreed to take medication, just so that DC can be released. Dc was released on the 4th day of taking medication. DC came out of the hospital, stopped medication and started smoking marijuana. Is seriously delusional, does not even talk to friends, keeps driving around without much sleep and neglecting basic self-care.

We are completely at our wits end to help DC. We have realized that admitting DC involuntarily again and again would not work. The hospitals are just businesses, who do their basic minimum to stabilize DC for 2/3 days and would release again. We have spend thousands of dollars on hospitalization costs, with no result.

DC does not want to see therapist or take medication. Is there any legal or medical path to our suffering? Who would help? Where do we find support?

[Anonymous]

I don’t have any advice to offer but just wanted to say that you & your AC have my sympathies. That sounds like a very difficult situation.

[Anonymous]

I am so, so sorry, OP. Try NAMI, if you’ve not already: https://nami.org/Home

If you google “NAMI” and the state/jurisdiction you’re in, you can find their local chapter. If nothing else, they offer wonderful support and can advise on resources.

It sounds like it would be a long shot, but if your DC is ever hospitalized and you’re in a position to push for injectable antipsychotics, that’s preferable for someone who won’t stay on their meds. There are only so many that can be injected, though, depending on what your DC has found successful (if any). You’re not alone in this struggle, painful as it is.

[Anonymous]

First of all it's a disease, don't blame your child and who cares what their GPA was or is. stop with expectations. Recovery is possible but you also have to change. with that said this sounds just like one of our kids. Is there substance abuse? It sure sounds like it especially with the
psychosis. They need to want to get better and you have to have strong boundaries and not enable which is extremely difficult because you don't want to see a child go through this.

Seeing they are over 18 your options are limited and they will drain you of yourself without the boundaries.

Seek help for yourself if they are not going to get help, heck, even if they do get help, get some for yourself. therapy is a good things and don't shame this situation.

[Anonymous]

I would do some searches for schizophrenia support groups. There are some national mental health foundations that might be able to put you in touch with some resources.

Your story is very, very common amongst schizophrenia parents. Many have BTDT and ca help you. Ultimately you cannot help a patient if they refuse to take their meds. You may need to act to protect yourselves - and others - instead. With more involuntary committment and even incarceration. I'm so sorry.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, I am so sorry for this difficult path for you and your AC. I do not have any suggestions for care. I am just starting this path with my 20 year old bipolar son. He barely made it through his sophomore year, and had two cycles this year. I am trying hard to keep him compliant with his meds.

Please join us at NAMI. Joining NAMI and attending their free 8 week course called Family to Family, helped my own mental health. It gave me a group of parents who have walked the path before me and with me. A support group for you is vital.

https://www.nami.org/Find-Your-Local-NAMI/Affiliate/Programs?classkey=a1x36000003TN9YAAW

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all it's a disease, don't blame your child and who cares what their GPA was or is. stop with expectations. Recovery is possible but you also have to change. with that said this sounds just like one of our kids. Is there substance abuse? It sure sounds like it especially with the
psychosis. They need to want to get better and you have to have strong boundaries and not enable which is extremely difficult because you don't want to see a child go through this.

Seeing they are over 18 your options are limited and they will drain you of yourself without the boundaries.

Seek help for yourself if they are not going to get help, heck, even if they do get help, get some for yourself. therapy is a good things and don't shame this situation.

I am typing this fast and lacking sleep for days together. So I am not eloquent and may have miscommunicated. I do not care about the GPA or blame DC for the disease. I am just feeling hopeless with the lack of support system for seriously mentally unwell AC who are expected to decide about their own healthcare. Mental sick patients lack the capacity to make self-preserving decision and yet out healthcare burdens them with the decision! How do parents let kids wither away?

I am attending NAMI classes and trying to educate myself fast. Yet I find this whole situation lacking solution. Is there any experienced parents who know any other way than letting adult mentally ill child languish?

[Anonymous]

I don't have any specific advice but stand by your child. His safety and health are more important than employment. In decades and decades of life he'll get to live, taking an year to get better is like one on a 100 count prayer bead.

[Anonymous]

I’ve got an adult kid in a similar situation but not as chaotic. I would definitely take the car away. Try to learn about resources from local NAMI participant parents.

I do think in 20 years we will be embarrassed at allowing the mentally ill to be homeless and “free.” It’s a terrible overextension of personal liberty.

Johns Hopkins has a schizophrenia center if you’re closer to Baltimore. Call!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all it's a disease, don't blame your child and who cares what their GPA was or is. stop with expectations. Recovery is possible but you also have to change. with that said this sounds just like one of our kids. Is there substance abuse? It sure sounds like it especially with the
psychosis. They need to want to get better and you have to have strong boundaries and not enable which is extremely difficult because you don't want to see a child go through this.

Seeing they are over 18 your options are limited and they will drain you of yourself without the boundaries.

Seek help for yourself if they are not going to get help, heck, even if they do get help, get some for yourself. therapy is a good things and don't shame this situation.

I am typing this fast and lacking sleep for days together. So I am not eloquent and may have miscommunicated. I do not care about the GPA or blame DC for the disease. I am just feeling hopeless with the lack of support system for seriously mentally unwell AC who are expected to decide about their own healthcare. Mental sick patients lack the capacity to make self-preserving decision and yet out healthcare burdens them with the decision! How do parents let kids wither away?

I am attending NAMI classes and trying to educate myself fast. Yet I find this whole situation lacking solution. Is there any experienced parents who know any other way than letting adult mentally ill child languish?

The problem is that it’s virtually impossible to hospitalize an adult for any length of time beyond when they’re a danger to self or others unless they’ve committed a crime. And without hospitalization, stabilization is hard. People with serious mental illness need medication, along with other supports.

This link has some resources that may be helpful: https://nationalepinet.org/resources/clients-and-families/

The RAISE/EpiNet initiative is a real success from NIMH and has helped a lot of people with psychosis, and their families. The model of care the clinics use is called Coordinated Speciality Care. It’s easier said than done, but it’s the gold standard treatment for young adults in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Just wondering if any of the doctors or hospitals mentioned cannabis induced psychosis or drug-induced psychosis brought on by hallucinogenics like LSD or DMT? Have they put him on anti-psychotic medications? Also, has he been told that any drugs (including cannabis) taken after a drug-induced psychosis, puts him at risk for longer and worse psychotic episodes, which can turn into full-blown schizophrenia? The marijuana kids get now is much more potent than olden days and the new hallucinogenic drugs like DMT are being promoted by celebrities, without any discussion of negative impact (sometimes permanent) on teenage/young adult brains (like actual brain damage). I am only asking because if he is being diagnosed with schizoaffective disorders, it may be related to continued drug use and he needs to go to a detox/rehab that also treats mental illness.

[Anonymous]

In Virginia the local CSBs offer the “gold standard” schizophrenia care—but are understaffed and my local one wouldn’t take my adult kid—because he did not have Medicaid.

If you want legal guardianship I would call the Arc of Nova. They’re organized more for childhood disabilities but have a lot of great lawyers and advice on guardianship. And services are fairly cheap for disability trusts.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've had some great advice here.

I'd only add that he needs to really want to take his meds, and that won't happen if he has easy access to all the basics, such as a car and a roof over his head. You need to take away privileges like the car and even staying with you. Also, he's probably using the car to get drugs.

Here's an example, on the assumption that his psychosis is drug-induced and that he's self-medicating the major depression. You could require him to pay rent and fill the gas tank, with the understanding that if he doesn't he'll need to move to a half-way or Oxford house for recovering addicts (that you'd pay for).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you've had some great advice here.

I'd only add that he needs to really want to take his meds, and that won't happen if he has easy access to all the basics, such as a car and a roof over his head. You need to take away privileges like the car and even staying with you. Also, he's probably using the car to get drugs.

Here's an example, on the assumption that his psychosis is drug-induced and that he's self-medicating the major depression. You could require him to pay rent and fill the gas tank, with the understanding that if he doesn't he'll need to move to a half-way or Oxford house for recovering addicts (that you'd pay for).

Most people with schizophrenia don’t know they’re ill. I believe OP knows this, but a patient is not going to voluntarily accept treatment if he’s not ill. I think the vast majority of people do not understand that the poor patient is 100% convinced they’re ok!
Also, many schizophrenics are self-medicating with alcohol and pot. If the hospitals have diagnosed several times as Sch, then it’s not a drug psychosis.

Best to you on getting guardianship. A few Virginia courts have mental health dockets but not in Nova.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you've had some great advice here.

I'd only add that he needs to really want to take his meds, and that won't happen if he has easy access to all the basics, such as a car and a roof over his head. You need to take away privileges like the car and even staying with you. Also, he's probably using the car to get drugs.

Here's an example, on the assumption that his psychosis is drug-induced and that he's self-medicating the major depression. You could require him to pay rent and fill the gas tank, with the understanding that if he doesn't he'll need to move to a half-way or Oxford house for recovering addicts (that you'd pay for).

Most people with schizophrenia don’t know they’re ill. I believe OP knows this, but a patient is not going to voluntarily accept treatment if he’s not ill. I think the vast majority of people do not understand that the poor patient is 100% convinced they’re ok!
Also, many schizophrenics are self-medicating with alcohol and pot. If the hospitals have diagnosed several times as Sch, then it’s not a drug psychosis.

Best to you on getting guardianship. A few Virginia courts have mental health dockets but not in Nova.

I actually agree with you. Which is precisely why OP has to stop providing creature comforts like a car and roof--her son isn't going to take his meds if everything comes easily.