Unfriendly Classmate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should teach your kid to try to be kind. This other girl sounds like she might have anxiety or some ND. Especially with what you said about her mom. Teach your kid is not always about her.

Bullshit.

Eye-rolling brats with moms who snatch out about “mean girls” don’t have anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you find the mom annoying and hypocritical but bringing this up will make things worse

No good will come of talking with the other parent. Unfortunate situation though, for both girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I just wanted to commiserate a bit. My DD has a girl like this in her dance class. DD is gregarious and loves dance, and greets her classmates and says goodbye to them by name. She doesn't pester or annoy them, just says "Hi Larla" or whatever. There is one classmate who not only never reciprocates but I have seen her visibly roll her eyes at my DD when she greets her. And again, it's not even some aggressive move -- I watched this interaction last week when we were leaving and my DD said "See you next week" to the girl in passing as we walked out, and the girl looked at her, grimaced, and rolled her eyes. Her mom was right there but I don't think saw the behavior.

I've taught my DD to be polite to other people and let her know that while she absolutely does not have to be friends with everyone, being polite costs you absolutely nothing. It's a shame how many other parents don't seem to bother with this.

Op here. Thank you!!! I’m shocked at how many people are like “oh well, who cares”. I’d be mortified if my DD acted like that. Even if this girl really doesn’t care for my DD, a simple “good morning” isn’t a huge ask.

Yes, I’m teaching DD to not worry when someone is unkind to her, but on the flip side, maybe this girls parents should teach their DD about general politeness

Yes, maybe they should, but how they parent their daughter just isn’t your business. If she’s being actively mean to your daughter, I think you can say something to the mom, but I just don’t see how you can’t say, “it hurts my feelings and my daughter’s feelings when your daughter doesn’t say hi to mine.” I feel like that’s almost a guarantee that your daughter will get made fun-of.

[Anonymous]

The girl isn’t being very friendly. I would say to my kid, “looks like Larla wants some time to herself, let’s play _____ when we go to the bus stop.”
I guess I’m saying I would try to turn it into helping my kid read the social situation without blaming my kid or the other. Just say sometimes people want some time in the to collect their thoughts. And keep going.

[Anonymous]

No other kid owes your child friendship. It doesn't mean you have to like it. It is what it is. Teach your child how to exist amid their peers who ignore them, teach them to be strong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No other kid owes your child friendship. It doesn't mean you have to like it. It is what it is. Teach your child how to exist amid their peers who ignore them, teach them to be strong.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No other kid owes your child friendship. It doesn't mean you have to like it. It is what it is. Teach your child how to exist amid their peers who ignore them, teach them to be strong.

This.

Not asking for friendship, I just find it incredibly disrespectful to ignore someone when they speak to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No other kid owes your child friendship. It doesn't mean you have to like it. It is what it is. Teach your child how to exist amid their peers who ignore them, teach them to be strong.

This.

Not asking for friendship, I just find it incredibly disrespectful to ignore someone when they speak to you

They are 8 years old!! Again, you don’t know the reason why. Regardless, your kids are going to encounter mean people their entire lives — and much worse than this. The real lesson is teaching them not to let it fester in the same way an adult woman is letting an 8 year old girl take up real estate in her head. If the kid isn’t saying hello, your daughter can move on and focus her attention on those who reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

Hi op. I am sure this is frustrating, but try not to take it personally and unintentionally project your feelings onto your daughter. Every morning I greet my kindergarten students by name, at the door as they come in, and probably one third of them don’t say hi or good morning back. These are students who love me and want my attention ALL DAY. This happens every year, with every class I’ve had. I have no idea why some of them don’t acknowledge my greeting, but I don’t take it personally. Kids have a lot to think about in the morning and they don’t have the same social norms as adults. Your dd’s classmate may be distracted by thinking about her day or something else. Things may be completely different by next school year.

[Anonymous]

Wow I really thought you were considering asking the other mom if your DD had done something that offended the other girl. That would be the only thing I would consider! If she’s friendly with other people but ignoring your child haven’t you at least considered the possibility that there’s a good reason for it? And her mom’s comments about mean girls might be about your Dd? The fact that this doesn’t appear to have been something you even considered is very odd to me. It might be nothing or your DD touched a nerve unknowingly but it might be something you want to know about…

[Anonymous]

That kid is a B. Tell your daughter to ignore her at all costs. Im serious. From now on, she’s the pariah. Dont let your child give it one more thought.

[Anonymous]

+1 the kid may be in the spectrum

[Anonymous]

My son is quiet. He keeps to himself.

I have one social kid and one introvert.

Leave the girl alone.

[Anonymous]

My son is at a bus stop with one other boy. The boy is super chatty and enthusiastic to my son. The boy has ADHD and started getting angry, frustrated and physical with my son. I know the boy felt bad my son did not want to be friends with him. It became very awkward and we switched bus stops to avoid him. Now I just drive my kid because I can.

The girl does not owe your daughter a conversation. They are not friends. I would just coach my daughter to say hi or eventually say nothing. Just wait for the bus.

[Anonymous]

My kid is a different person morning bus stop and after school. She is not a morning person and doesn’t want to talk.