40+ never been engaged/married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

This is completely untrue. No man wants to date, let alone marry, a single mother.

[Anonymous]

Undesirable

It’s one thing to be never married but never proposed or been proposed to? Nah. Red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

This is completely untrue. No man wants to date, let alone marry, a single mother.

Not necessarily true, at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

This is completely untrue. No man wants to date, let alone marry, a single mother.

Divorced fathers disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

Well if she’s slim then surely she will find a good man. SMH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

Well if she’s slim then surely she will find a good man. SMH.

Weight absolutely matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

Well if she’s slim then surely she will find a good man. SMH.

Weight absolutely matters.

+1 (unfortunately, but a plus one nonetheless)

[Anonymous]

If it’s a black woman or Asian guy, it says nothing about them because statistically it’s brutal for both of these groups so you find a lot of decent normal people of this age with those backgrounds who have never been married/engaged

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it’s a black woman or Asian guy, it says nothing about them because statistically it’s brutal for both of these groups so you find a lot of decent normal people of this age with those backgrounds who have never been married/engaged

This

[Anonymous]

It’s extremely common for women on DC-area Hinge. No idea what it means.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the context of knowing someone;

Friend - doesn't matter, I don't judge or care why
Boss - generally, if you have a family, it means they don't understand the stress of family life, might say they don't judge you but definitely do with respect to sick days and random call outs. There also may be some aspect of jealousy if it's a female boss
Co-worker - same with boss and might even sabotage interactions when given the chance. Single men tend to be worse with this than single women.

Depending on the circumstances, I might wonder if the person has trauma, other lifestyle or I might know why they are single (work-obsessed, rigid, difficult to be around)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine is 42, a pre-school teacher, and she's had two broken engagements. She's in DESPAIR about finding a guy with whom to settle down. She was engaged to a man who did not want children and she agreed to that and he eventually broke it off. I told her to have/adopt a child first, and then you'll attract a different kind of man who wants to be a father, but single motherhood is HARD (I did it with a lot of family support $$$ which she does not have).
I'd really like to help her--she's slim and attractive and WONDERFUL. She gets so depressed and hates to be alone. There's a limit to how often you can put yourself out there, get rejected, meet all the frogs who are not princes in disguise, etc. and keep your spirits up.
I don't know what to say to her. She gets SO depressed (and horny) and feels so alone. I agree that at age 40 all kinds of alarms go off.

Why did he break off the engagement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does this say about someone? Is it different than if they're male or female?

It (marriage) can happen, I have seen it happen to a 42 year old woman...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few older Gen X women who contracted herpes in college and then basically stopped dating. It’s sad. I know other terrific women who are pushing 40 and have struggled. Both are nice (one is very opinionated; both are in therapy).

I know a few older men who never married. Two are straight. One is attractive and kind, the other isn’t. No clue why the nice guy never married.

Who knows?

I contracted herpes when I was around 30 and it didn't really change anything. I just give partners the heads up beforehand. Never had any issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a few older Gen X women who contracted herpes in college and then basically stopped dating. It’s sad. I know other terrific women who are pushing 40 and have struggled. Both are nice (one is very opinionated; both are in therapy).

I know a few older men who never married. Two are straight. One is attractive and kind, the other isn’t. No clue why the nice guy never married.

Who knows?

I contracted herpes when I was around 30 and it didn't really change anything. I just give partners the heads up beforehand. Never had any issue.

For you partners, maybe but not all men would continue relationship