Another mom invited herself to my kid’s birthday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd think that the mom didn't invite herself to the party, she is asking for accommodations for her own child (i.e. the presence of a trusted adult) who is already a party invitee.

+1 the title isn’t accurate. She is very politely asking for some empathy for her kid who is struggling a little. As a parent whose kid is struggling with other things right now it is tough, it would be really nice if other parents would be supportive for small things like this. She’s not asking to bring extra kids or just showing up without asking. She’ll blend into the background. And “a little more tight”? It’s one person for something that is already close to 30 people, this is not an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to have a strictly drop off party at a venue like this, esp for 2nd grade. Drop off optional, sure, but not drop off only.

This, it's very hard to supervise all kids at an open venue. I would not drop off my child. Just decline and let her cancel. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd think that the mom didn't invite herself to the party, she is asking for accommodations for her own child (i.e. the presence of a trusted adult) who is already a party invitee.

This. It’s not about you. It’s not about her. Would you rather be comforting a child you don’t know who in the middle of the party starts crying that he’s not having fun and wants to go home? Because the venue animators will just bring him to you as the host. So, You won’t be doing much “catching up” then either and would be on top of that angry at his mother that she knows her child and should have stayed.

Keep in mind, that she wants to be at your party as much as you want her to be there too. She’d probably either sit in the car, or sit at the venue and read book / zone out with her phone. She’s doing that so her kid enjoys the party, and will not be a burden on you should he become anxious.

[Anonymous]

Also, if you are asking 20 parents to drop off their kids you REALLY shouldn’t expect to be catching up with your friends as you need to be supervising said 20 children and corralling them. This whole thing is really confusing to me. And I’m sure you mean well op I think I’m reacting because there have been a lot of pretty insensitive posts about birthday parties here lately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to have a strictly drop off party at a venue like this, esp for 2nd grade. Drop off optional, sure, but not drop off only.

I agree. Parent of a moderate special needs child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes tell her you can’t accommodate her as the venue has a strict count. She can choose to drop off her child or not bro if him at all. I would be miffed too. Does she stay at school with him too? Ridiculous

Wow. Now I know where the mean kids get it from. Is having to talk to someone other than your bestie so awful that a child should be excluded from the party?

[Anonymous]

The mom likely doesn’t want to hang out with you. She’ll probably be w son or on her own. You can still chat with your friends, to the extent feasible at an ES bday party

[Anonymous]

I understand you not wanting to have a random person there to entertain. But if that what needs to happen to make the kid or the mom comfortable it's the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Be gracious. I hosted a kids party and one of the moms stayed because her DS had a lot of different allergies (vanilla, citrus fruit, nuts) and wanted to provide an epi pen, just in case.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Talk about a way to exclude kids with special needs. You are pretending to be inclusive but you really are not.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I think I’m piling on but I just noticed that the two parents you are allowing to come in are also parents of kids in the class!!!! Omg. It boggles my mind that you could consider saying no to a mom of a kid struggling with anxiety when you are allowing two other parents of kids in the class to come. To be honest op this really gets into mean girl territory. Super exclusionary. My mom friends can come but another mom can’t even though it likely means her already potentially left out kid then can’t come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s weird to have a strictly drop off party at a venue like this, esp for 2nd grade. Drop off optional, sure, but not drop off only.

I agree. OP's got such a bad attitude about this whole thing I doubt she's trustworthy enough to watch a bunch of unpredictable kids while being distracted with family chit chat. I would not do drop off for a party at a venue at this age if I knew the grown up "in charge" was lax about supervision. OP ought to be grateful there's another pair of more responsible eyes on the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, if you are asking 20 parents to drop off their kids you REALLY shouldn’t expect to be catching up with your friends as you need to be supervising said 20 children and corralling them. This whole thing is really confusing to me. And I’m sure you mean well op I think I’m reacting because there have been a lot of pretty insensitive posts about birthday parties here lately

Right?!? You can't just sit back and sip sangria, lady.

[Anonymous]

Hold on. It’s an all-class party for 2nd graders but you only extended invitations for a couple of select parents to join, and you want to refuse additional requests from oarents who want to come supervise their children? YTA.

[Anonymous]

You’re clueless if you think other parents won’t stay. Most won’t but some will.