Another mom invited herself to my kid’s birthday party

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:YTA here OP. it is not unusual for a couple of kid's parents to stay at the party.

+1

Also, she didn’t invite herself, she asked you, and her request sounds perfectly reasonable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes tell her you can’t accommodate her as the venue has a strict count. She can choose to drop off her child or not bro if him at all. I would be miffed too. Does she stay at school with him too? Ridiculous

Wow. Now I know where the mean kids get it from. Is having to talk to someone other than your bestie so awful that a child should be excluded from the party?

These boards always make me understand where the kids being exclusionary at school learn it. I’m always shocked at these responses honestly.

I can only imagine the conversation between OP and her DD regarding this child’s anxiety and whatever other issues and mom’s feelings about making small accommodations.

It really explains why my autistic child didn't get a single party or playdate invitation while in public school (she was fully mainstreamed). People suck.

I'm so sorry. 😢
If your daughter had been in class with my daughter, she would've been invited to her party every year.
My son has ADHD, so his sister/my daughter is especially empathetic & inclusive to everyone around her.

How is she doing with friends now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Good lord, you sound exhausting & insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

I would tell her no and instruct her that she needs to stop letting her kid use anxiety as a crutch.

Oops, your ignorance is showing. Better tuck that away before anyone sees.

[Anonymous]

I mean do you want to deal with her kid if he freaks out? I would prefer their parent be there just in case.

[Anonymous]

No, OP, this mom is not trying to “push in” to your party. You’re not so cool or special.

Every time I ever threw one of these parties I was delighted when parents stayed. It never even occurred to me that someone should ask me for permission.

Every time my DD ever went to one these parties, I stayed because it’s just easier and I didn’t mind lending a hand. It was not fun for me.

I’m convinced 99% of parents would view it the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes tell her you can’t accommodate her as the venue has a strict count. She can choose to drop off her child or not bro if him at all. I would be miffed too. Does she stay at school with him too? Ridiculous

Wow. Now I know where the mean kids get it from. Is having to talk to someone other than your bestie so awful that a child should be excluded from the party?

These boards always make me understand where the kids being exclusionary at school learn it. I’m always shocked at these responses honestly.

I can only imagine the conversation between OP and her DD regarding this child’s anxiety and whatever other issues and mom’s feelings about making small accommodations.

It really explains why my autistic child didn't get a single party or playdate invitation while in public school (she was fully mainstreamed). People suck.

I'm so sorry. 😢
If your daughter had been in class with my daughter, she would've been invited to her party every year.
My son has ADHD, so his sister/my daughter is especially empathetic & inclusive to everyone around her.

How is she doing with friends now?

We switched to a private school that explicitly emphasizes kindness and inclusion and she's doing great. Thanks for asking.

Children really are watching adult behavior and change their behavior accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We've been to/hosted second grade parties this year, and there are often parents hanging around, especially if the venue is large with lots of exits. They don't ask permission, and they don't need permission; they either hang out on their phones or socialize with other parents who as also sticking around. When we hosted our second grader's birthday, I enjoyed socializing with the parents i know and am friendly with - I also chatted with people who are not in my immediate circle but who were hanging out at the venue...because I am a normal person with basic social skills. OP I would recommend a social skills class for you, because really, at your age you should be able to handle the fact that the parent of an invited classmate will remain present at your birthday venue.

Yeah this is really the crux of it. If you can't make small talk with another person for a few minutes at a kid's birthday party the problem is you, not the other mom.

[Anonymous]

Pp with child with ASD, which private school teaches kindness and inclusion?

OP, you should take to heart some of the comments written. Please take your child's birthday as a time to reflect how wonderfully lucky you are to have child without special needs. Please learn to be gracious.

The mom is not trying to invite herself to your child's birthday party. She is being a good mom to a child with special needs and not burden you in case he needs help or has to leave the party early. You sound so self-centered and full of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone drops off at that age. I do at parties where it's a somewhat contained environment and I know the parents well. If I've never met the parents or it's a really big public place where kids can roam freely, I'll stay.

My DH learned this the hard way when he dropped off at a party at Main Event and we did not know the parents and it was a total free for all and he came back and couldn't find DD and then when he did, she was with some boy he'd never met before (it was the birthday kid's older brother, but still kind of unnerving)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?

Just wow. The title sounded like a stranger is hijacking your party, but instead it’s a mom of an INVITED CHILD! You are a complete jerk. Calling her a random mom. You have no manners. 2nd graders are still small kids and trust me that more than half of the parents will stay there. I hope you get extra food and drinks, although after reading your post, I bet the only extra thing you’ll get is wine in your sippy cup.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope you did the right thing and acted like the mature parent you should be. Please tell us you texted back and said of "course it's fine to be there for your son" and let us know how the party went.

[Anonymous]

OP you are the a hole. If you’re hosting a birthday party it’s not the time to schmooze and catch up with friends. It’s to HOST! And many parents aren’t comfortable with drop off parties at tender ages. You have no IDEA why this might be - maybe the child was sexually abused, has trauma, maybe they have special needs, autism, sensory issues, ADHD, food allergies/issues, social issues, etc. you are the opposite of gracious and welcoming.

[Anonymous]

Op if you have all of those adults to entertain, are you really going to be watching th kids? I doubt it. You sound like the kind of mom who will serve alcohol at her teen’s birthday parties.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, this thread came back! So, op, what happened? Did anybody go to your kids party?