Another mom invited herself to my kid’s birthday party

Anonymous
My second grader invited all the kids in her class to her birthday party. We’re having it at a party venue and there’s enough room for all the kids, DH and myself, my parents, and two of my good friends whose kids are in DD’s class. A mom I don’t know texted me today asking if she could come to the party as well because her son is anxious and it would be easier for him if she were there. I’m a little annoyed because I was looking forward to this time to catch up with my two friends and my parents, and now we’ll have a random mom there as well. It’s going to feel a little more crowded. I asked DD about this boy and she said she doesn’t know him that well because he is quiet and doesn’t talk much. Can I just tell the mom sorry, it’s a drop off party or so I need to let her come too?
Anonymous
I’d think the kid would be anxious being the only one with a mom there.
Anonymous
Dude, just let her come. Her kid is in 2nd grade, and likely DOES have anxiety - he'll be around people you specifically said doesn't know very well.
How much "catching up" did you plan to do at a noisy birthday party venue? FFS, it's not like she invited her toddler along. Catch up with your friends another time.

Anonymous
If you invite the whole class (and therefore don't know the parents well), you should expect there are some parents who will not be comfortable with drop off.

Also, it's one person. Be gracious.
Anonymous
I'd think that the mom didn't invite herself to the party, she is asking for accommodations for her own child (i.e. the presence of a trusted adult) who is already a party invitee.
Anonymous
It’s weird to have a strictly drop off party at a venue like this, esp for 2nd grade. Drop off optional, sure, but not drop off only.
Anonymous
She won't be the only one who stays you know. So be prepared to be a gracious host to all the parents who stick around. Have a drink with your friends later after the party to catch up. A kids party is not the time and place.
Anonymous
Be kind, op. Also, if you want to catch up, you do not do it with 20 plus kids in the room.
Anonymous
Yes tell her you can’t accommodate her as the venue has a strict count. She can choose to drop off her child or not bro if him at all. I would be miffed too. Does she stay at school with him too? Ridiculous
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Dude, just let her come. Her kid is in 2nd grade, and likely DOES have anxiety - he'll be around people you specifically said doesn't know very well.
How much "catching up" did you plan to do at a noisy birthday party venue? FFS, it's not like she invited her toddler along. Catch up with your friends another time.



+1 have some empathy op. Seriously. If her child is typically quiet to the point your daughter barely knows him and his mom is saying he’s anxious and could use some back up, the kind and right thing to do is say of course. Otherwise you are making it so this kid is even further excluded because he can’t come to the birthday party because now it would likely be too much for him. And he’s a kid that probably needs that experience more than anyone (the best way through anxiety is exposure so mom is trying to figure out a way to get him there).

Do the right thing. You’re not going to be catching up that much while you run an entire class party and I’m sure the mom won’t want to chat much either so you still can.
Anonymous
Op, it’s rude of you to only welcome the parents you are friends with. Please don’t have an all class party if you’re going to be this rude.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:If you invite the whole class (and therefore don't know the parents well), you should expect there are some parents who will not be comfortable with drop off.

Also, it's one person. Be gracious.



Yeah, this. If I don't you, I'm not dropping my kid off.
Anonymous
Op, for second grade, there will be parents that stay and it isn’t the time or place to have your little private girls club with the mommies you know.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Be kind, op. Also, if you want to catch up, you do not do it with 20 plus kids in the room.


Agreed. You should plan to be fully engaged with the party.
Anonymous
YTA here OP. it is not unusual for a couple of kid's parents to stay at the party.
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